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jason71

Both parents

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Last few months ive been reading through the forums trying to make sense of grief experiences.  I feel the right time now to express the loss of both my parents that past away 12 months apart.  I live in Ireland, but both my parents while not living together lived in North Wales.

My mother passed away suddenly, aged 62, from a heart attack 17 Dec 2014.  I received the news by telephone call from her close friend. To say I was gutted wasn't the word, the grief journey was/has been a roller coaster, although is now been nearly 21 months.  Then 16th Dec 2015 my father passed away, again 62, from a heart attack. (bit of a coincidence.  They hadn't seen each other for 20 plus years either).  My fathers girlfriend didn't have my telephone number and had to email me to call her early on the 17th.  As you can imagine both experiences were shocks.  My father has now passed nearly 9 months and some days i'm fine and others I may find myself emotional and with a range of emotions. I think i'm feeling more emotional about my dad now then the early months.  The fog could be clearing?

Not being in North wales has kind of helped to compartmentalise the grief in ways, but as we all know, sooner or later no matter where you are I've found myself becoming emotional in a variety of situations and with my energy being sapped. On a few occasions I've felt like I was losing it, but this forum has been a safety raft where I've known what to expect, so thank you for sharing your experiences.

best wishes

Jason

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Sorry for your loss Jason. This thing they call "grief" is a roller coaster. My loss is very new because I just lost my dad June 14, 2016. We were very close...daddy's girl and I was his caregiver for the last 2 years. Some days I'm fine but most days now I find myself losing it at the oddest moments. You are not alone. So glad that you joined in and shared. I will keep you in my thoughts. Hang in there. 

Cheryl

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Jason,

I am sorry for both of your losses.  You didn't mention any siblings so I assume you're an only child?  It's hard losing the last parent, it's like the last tie to your identity, the one who knew you from birth. It can leave you feeling pretty "on you own"...even if you didn't have day to day contact beforehand, you knew you could call them.

Nope, not losing it...grief has a whole gamut of feelings, a pretty broad spectrum of how to handle them.

I'm glad you've found this place and been reading...it has definitely saved my bacon over the years!

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Jason,

I, too, am new to this site.  Just feeling so sad and as you say searching for some kind of safety raft, found me here.  I pray that we both can get some kind of help by reading of other's experiences.  

Janet

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Hi Jason,

Completely know what you're going through having lost both parents. I am only 19 years old trying to navigate the world (what feels like) alone. Also know what you mean when you say that some days you are fine and others you just lose it. All of a sudden everything doesn't seem to have a point and it aches. Hopefully I can start using this website more because I do feel like it will help me to speak with other people in the same situation.

 

 

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Hi Jason, 

Im glad you have been helped by this site as its "saved my bacon" like KayC has said! They really pulled me out of the dark hole I found myself in. I can only imagine how you feel and I am so sorry that you are going through this. 

I do feel that the fog clears after a little while, especially once you have "Accepted" that they have passed and you have to readjust. I had definitely lost it after my dad died but I think Ive regained most of "it." I also think not being in that area helps too. I was away at college when my dad died and I had some relief when I left because the town felt different after the passing. Whatever helps, as long as its safe! 

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Thanks to all for your replies, is great to have that extra support.  Yes Kayc, i'm an only child, so can be difficult not sharing with siblings. Although I've recently visited my great uncle and cousin in the UK and shared feelings, so that was good. Some days good, some emotional. Is nearly 11 months since my dad passed and the fog is clearing a little. I'll keep in touch.  Best wishes  Jason

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