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  2. Lol love minions. Thats cute. hope you had a good turkey day. really good your Mom settled in that way. I've read about so many problems. I know when my Mom had any changes from her routine she got very upset. I tried Curry Chicken by recipe the other night and it wasn't good. My dad wanted Buckwheat Pancakes for breakfast so i ordered a mix on Amazon. he said they weren't real Buckwheat cakes. Nothing is ever 'real' because it cant live up to his memory of what it was like. I did buy some spices so will keep trying new dishes. dads the guinea pig i guess. Tonight I made chicken and rice
  3. Kevin and Judi, As our old friend Spock says "Live long and prosper".
  4. I do understand. What I'm trying to do right now is still trying to be there for her as a friend ( even if we both agreed to work this out ). I'm also letting her set the pace, I'm not the one who's reaching out first. Speaking of constantly measure, I do filter most of my words before I say it to her because I don't know how she will react to it and it's difficult to be honest. I try to be myself when we were together last time, I'm acting how she first knew me -- cracking a joke & having a sense of humor, but at the same time I'm displaying to her the new me, not the one who she sa
  5. I like the self hypnotizing idea. There are a lot of things I’d like to disarm triggers of. Or on a particularly bad day, put myself someplace else. I have a feeling I’d be doing that a lot. Maybe staying there too. looked up 'going south'. Indians (native) used it to describe death. The accepted change was a failure. Like 'he was gambling then everything went south and he lost a fortune'. Both fit when if I say losing Steve made my life go south.
  6. Blessings and warmest congratulations to both of you, dear Kevin! May your future together be filled with every happiness. ❤️
  7. To both of you: I have the deepest respect for your thoughts and feelings, and for your honesty in acknowledging and sharing them with all of us ~ and I hope you know that even if you've lost all hope, you can lean on ours until you find your own. You are not alone. You have each other, and you have every one of us pulling for you too. ❤️
  8. Oh, no. I don't think I would have even passed the physical. I was a 90 pound weakling in my youth.
  9. I'm so sorry, Jim. I realize the dreaded anniversary is coming up. That's really a rough journey, and yet you're still here on earth. It does seem like you're here for a reason. I have thought many times of ending things, but I must be alive for a purpose. I'm afraid of failing at it and being worse off or a burden. Annette always worried she was a burden to me, and it would be an insult to her memory to throw away my body that has vision that she didn't or mobility that she didn't. Good luck and take care on the 3rd. Don't give up.
  10. When I lost Nancy, the world came crashing down all at once, no warning, I stopped going to work, so I lost my job, got evicted after 15 years in the same place, and I just stopped caring, was drinking from morning till passing out, then started over again, I wanted to die so that I could be with Nancy, so I took a whole lot of pills and ended up in ICU, then the mental ward where I remained for all of 2019, upon release was put into a VA home for vets, so that they could keep an eye on me 24/7, My Doctor's would keep telling me, Jim you have to go on, Nancy would want you to, It's not your t
  11. Congratulations Kevin! You both look very happy. We could all use some good news and there you are! 💖
  12. Definately appears to be a difficult time for you, and your right the market is flooded, so having all this and then having your feelings over losing the Love of your life, only compounds the pressure!! don't know if you served in the military, as there are many benefits open to vets!
  13. Y'all, I paid my rent. Sometimes I just put it in the slot provided by check and sometimes I go in and talk to "her." I moved in here November of last year. Her first husband had passed away three years before but she was getting remarried soon, not sure date. She is about my kids age. Found out today he passed away of cancer in August. They found out about eight weeks before it happened like we found out about Billy's about six weeks. I told her my heart was with her, but no words would help, I was just so sorry. I wonder (my close friend's 2nd husband lasted about 12-14 years,) her ta
  14. So very happy for you Kevin. She looks happy too, so I wish the very best and a long life for you two. And, you can already sing together.
  15. Yesterday
  16. The band did put out a CD one year and all proceeds went to prostate cancer research. It was a limited run and I have one if the CD's left. All original songs.
  17. I'm sorry. Nothing on a record though? It's sad that the studio isn't being used. That would have been very cool to have seen. I always wanted to be an engineer or sound guy. Alas, no college, no opportunity.
  18. Sharing some good news, I proposed to my Karaoke Girlfriend and its a Yes.......I met Judi 2 years ago when I moved up here and its been great....makes this Covid life somewhat liveable...
  19. Thanks. Yeah, I don't have anybody in "real life", but you all are very helpful and keep me from going completely nuts, so thank you.
  20. It warms our hearts to learn that our site was helpful to you when you needed us. Blessings to you, K.D., for letting us know ~ and from our hearts to yours,
  21. Just here to donate. It’s been almost two years since my friend died. It’s still really painful. I don’t know how I would have made it thru those first dark months without being able to come here and read the articles and advice, and read the posts from other people who have experienced the same pain. I’m almost...almost...to the point where I can adopt another. Anyway, thank you again, Marty, for the work you do.
  22. Steve recorded lots of stuff. Covers of existing songs, things he wrote, other members wrote. He tended towards folk, but they did country and a bit of rock. We have a professional recording studio attached to he house. That is why I miss all the sound and practices. He played at parties if asked. I sang with them on occasion, but I had to have a drink or two usually. Have recordings of mine too. It’s very hard to go from all that creativity to this silence. I hate even going out there now. All his guitars and bass are with who he bequeathed them to. It was used for a couple years af
  23. You’ve faced so many upheavals since Annette’s death. Stuff that is usually tackled after a year or more. I can see why it is complicating your grief. That upends everything and to have to move, make decisions about possessions and adapt to living in a place that’s not our home anymore would challenge the strongest person. Probably cripple them too. I feel for you that you cannot talk about this with your family. It’s such a part of you now. I’d rather be alone than have that ignored. We can offer suggestions, but only you know the full intricacies of your situation. You’ve gott
  24. I miss genuine laughing- wanting to make Annette laugh. I always tried to think of something funny to say, or a funny voice. We had our in-jokes and things only we would understand. Now it's a dead language. My family doesn't understand my sense of humour. I don't feel like even trying. I actually am pretty dirty if being myself, or with Annette. That person I was is dead. I've never been one to laugh at a TV show, not out loud at least (much too self conscious). I'm pretty sure I'll never laugh again. Sometimes I could make her laugh uncontrollably, until she said stop- I'm going to pee
  25. Too true. It's funny how Annette said I looked so much better at 50 then when we met. Of course, then I was a super skinny nerd, and now I have a gut and am overweight. I would never have gotten another girl if it hadn't been for her, I was so awkward. Gwen, I know you said Steve was a musician, but did he record anything?, with a band? I love obscure 80's music- the more obscure, the more fun!
  26. That’s fascinating. I didn’t know the origin, but I sure know the practice. Still do it as it was always done in my childhood and a good reason to use if forgotten and things went south. Now, threes another one...things going south. That looks bad for our southern people. I wonder f that relates to the civil war? Hmmmmmm....... I used to believe in fairies until death came into my life. Wish they did exist. I still have a plaque in my once flourishing garden that says.....don’t piss off the fairies. 🙂
  27. Before I decided to dive into Steve, I was fully aware of his looks. Problem was, so was he. But it worked out as that gave me time to size him up a little more. At least as much as you can as a hormonal 20 something. I guess I may have appeared shallow, but I went for lookers. Think most women (and men) did. I can think of only one guy who was kinda out there, but I was 19 and rebellious. He was 29 and I didn’t put together still being at the university was a hunting ground thing for him. But...I did learn a lot from him about men’s wants it otherwise would have taken years. What a c
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