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  1. Today
  2. Joyce, I know, been there twice now. So painful to realize "til death do us part" is real and not just a phrase in a ritual. I hope your higher power gives you strength
  3. Yesterday
  4. Gwen: I guess I was feeling pretty comfortable these past years as my dental insurance was in place and as far as I knew I was satisfied with it. My husband had set it up prior to his illness. Now of course, open enrollment is changing my comfortable place. Need to decide what dental insurance I will go with and if I want to invest in vision. Haven't taken the time to compare and at my age, who knows what's next. LOL. Oh well, "One Day at a Time, or should I say, "One Worry at at Time." Dee
  5. Karen K: Don't know if "halos" are due to my macula degeneration for sure. Just seemed to be discovered shortly after I was having my eyes examined for new glasses and the optometrist referred me to the retina specialist. There were no problems with "halos" and night driving until after my husband passed in 2015. Of course, my age doesn't help, am now 77 years old. Up until then, I was driving anywhere I wanted to go daytime or nighttime. I can still drive in daytime to my appointments and grocery shopping, but with all the "crazies" out there in such a hurry I would rather be home. Am always feeling like I am not going as fast as everyone else wants me to go. Yes, I know what you mean about medical insurance and paying for glasses. Hopefully, your family is there to help you if you need to go somewhere in evening. Dee
  6. Got even 'better' yesterday. I was told they are cancelling my Monday coffee hour to try some other activity, but don’t know what yet. So I said, well, I’ll come in til you do. I was then told no, you don’t have to come in next Monday. Hmmmm. I sent an email last night (yet to be answered and my boss usually does in the morning) saying I find this confusing. She told me I had been averse to working with other volunteers when I asked if I could be involved in whatever to new activity was. I reminded her she had me train.new volunteers twice and I’ve worked parties. I had also heard for some odd reason, my social hour was not listed for November's activity calendar they give the residents. They said mistake, I say they lied to me. I left and sat in tears in the parking lot. All hugs has happened with the new administration. I’ve never changed who I always was there. I adhere to thier new rules. As they have targeted another volunteer I know I’m going to call her for take AND go by next Monday and see what’s going on at 3. Something stinks. Oh, and they have cut out 8 resident rooms for.offices and storage. No activity there gets a large crowd anymore. Back in the old days it took 2 of us to do coffee sometimes. My 4th anniversary of Steve's leaving is next. Monday. Going there I felt would at least get me some human contact. I feel so disposable. I have also lost what little respect I had for my boss who is a 'yes' person unlike my previous bosses that truly cared for us. I felt like an idiot because I had told her about a change needed when I hit there (to protect the residents from one who touched all the cookies) and she didn’t have the balls to tell me right then instead of waiting til I was signing out. At the very least, my previous bosses would have been honest with me as soon as they knew something.
  7. Joyce, really feeling for you today. I know there is nothing we can do but tell you.....you are not alone in our minds. I know you loved Dale with every fiber of your being. 💖
  8. I met Sammy when he was 4 hours old. He came home to me when he was 8 weeks old. He gave me joy for over 18 years and took a large part of my heart when he went to heaven 2 days ago. Sammy was the boss as soon as he was brought through the door. His curiosity was a wonder. Her needed to see how liquid spilled out of a cup when he pushed it to the floor, how many tissues remained on a on a particular toilet paper roll, and if he could fit into the large soup bowl. For the entire time he was with us I was never again able to sleep nights. He woke me up in many ways: batting me on the head with his paw, wailing from the hallway, jumping on my dresser and banging on the tambourine hanging on the wall. He was from a litter of 7; the only pink nose tabby. Sammy had many jobs. He was the social greeter when people came to visit; he was the assistant helper when the cable guy or plumber came to fix something, and he kept me hopping with his demands for munchies. He was a fussy boy. At his prime he weighed 17 pounds. At the end he was not even 4 pounds. I was so lucky to have my precious boy for so long, but I do not feel lucky. There is nowhere to go to dodge the pain. It hurts more than I can say. I must find comfort that he was not alone and he was surrounded by those who loved him when he left us.
  9. Joyce, I know how very hard thes days are. The 4th anniversary without Al is coming very soon for me and I am dreading it. We were married for 15 years and I miss him so very much. I do not think there is an easy way to get thru it. Remembering things makes it harder for me because I do not have that love and closeness any more. No one can come close to filling that place in my heart. Joyce, I hope you can have some peace on this special day. Know we are thinking of you. Gin
  10. On this day 36 years ago I married the love of my life, my best friend and soulmate. It is hard to believe this is the 4th anniversary of our special day that I have spent alone, celebrating our love alone. We would have been making plans to go to our favorite restaurant and looking forward to spending the evening celebrating. The last year we spent it together, I had the day off and we drove around all day and went to the places we had lived and talked about the time and things that had happened in a particular place, it was a good day. It is so hard not having him here to remember with and I don't believe it will get any easier either. I miss him so much and love him so much, that sometimes I don't feel like I can breath. I'm remembering that wonderful day with all my heart along with every other day we had together.
  11. Karen, I'm glad your son is feeling better. I'm allergic to aloe vera (and so much else) but it sounds like he has the same sort of boring diet I have. I have a piece of chicken and Kale Smoothie most nights with salad or coleslaw, sometimes spice it up with a cup of homemade chicken/vegetable soup. I go to the senior site twice a week and a ladies group once a week where I have something different to change up the boredom. I eat mostly produce but it doesn't seem to help my weight. My little sister tried being vegan one summer, didn't lose an ounce, been there, done that! But I'll settle for healthy. Came down with an ear infection so now after only three hours sleep I have to make the 100 mile round trip to the doctor, ugh. Holding for them now. My insurance just dropped dental, I didn't use their's anyway as it was a scam. Prefer to pay out of pocket for my own, at least I know what I'm getting. The place my insurance covered vision is now out of business so not sure where I'll go next time. I have Fuch's Dystrophy of the Corneas which is why I can't drive at night, but also cataracts that they're waiting to get worse.
  12. I think you've hit the nail on the head. Her twin heads up our senior site now. They fired Chris, the one who did a great job and hired Attila the Hun last year.
  13. I've seen it time and again. My good friend, Jackie, got volunteer of the year award last year, this year the B**** that runs the place told her she was no longer needed. Wow. The division it's caused at the senior site isn't likely to heal.
  14. Rae1991

    Loss

    Sounds just like my father. My mom loved him and understood he had problems, and tried to help. But he didn't want her help and after 16 years of him behaving as he did, she just said 'enough.' My dad's 3rd wife was nothing short of an attention seeking narcissistic mess. She's now a felon due to theft, money laundering and lord knows what else. He knew she was a mess, but believed her sob stories and that she was still a good person and that regardless of her past, he could love her enough to change her....until he started finding evidence of her indiscretions and illegal activities. He's a smart man, has hobbies, a great job and is a good dad and grandfather; he just makes really, REALLY poor decisions when it comes to relationships. My brothers and I said pretty much the exact same thing when he was engaged after his 2nd marriage less than a year later, then they ended and he got with his 3rd wife. It is astounding how little common sense and thought people put into such a huge decision.
  15. I am so sorry for your loss. That he had to go through so much in his short life seems beyond unfair. There's no shortcut through this grief, I'm afraid, if there was I would have found it by now. I lost my sister in March, and I feel some things you never get over, only learn to live with. It does help to express yourself, to not bottle it up, so I'm glad you found this site, it helps to give voice to your pain, to your missing him. My heart goes out to you in your sorrow.
  16. kayc

    Loss

    I've been told he was different when he was younger but seeing his best friend killed right in front of him in Viet Nam had it's effects, and he had an alcoholic mom that also left it's mark. He needed counseling. If I tried to talk to him about anything emotional, he'd stonewall me (shut me out). I do feel sorry for him, he was a good man, I understood him, just couldn't live with it any more. One thing I've learned, it takes more than one to make a marriage! I guess I'm too old and too exhausted to go through all this any more. Oddly enough, when I married George, the adjustment seemed so effortless, although both of us actually put in a great deal of effort. We did so out of love and want to. My son was incredulous when his dad got married to someone so messed up...he said, "Didn't he even look around before he got married?" I answered, "No, he never did, he just went to town and got another girl." As if you can build a marriage with just anyone. I feel that's what he did with me too. It's sad, he was so smart when it came to everything else! Some people put in more effort buying new tires than they do selecting their spouse!
  17. kayc

    My Kitten Got Into the Dryer

    I am so sorry, I know the loss of losing a pet especially prematurely. I haven't lost a kitten in the dryer but many have, but I did lose our dog Fluffy when he snuck into our van. I shouldn't have left the door open, it was only a minute while I was giving the cat medicine, then off to work I went. Hot day, it was closed up just outside my office. Did he bark, try to get my attention? What the vet told me has haunted me ever since. It's been about 21 years yet I've never forgotten. All we can do is learn from these experiences and be more vigilant with the next one. We can't undo it, although God knows we'd like to. I feel for your husband, the image will always be with him, just as my dog rolling out stiff into my arms when I opened the van door that night...we don't forget that. I'm so sorry, I know all of the what ifs we ask ourselves in a way to find a different possible outcome, but there is none but what happened. You aren't to blame, neither is your husband, besides affixing blame doesn't help, it only hurts more. It takes time but I hope you find some peace. Maybe you could do something with your kids to memorialize your kitten, maybe if you've buried him, you can each put a flower on his grave, a plant would be nice but not the right time of year, perhaps in the Spring? I'm so sorry, from someone who's been there.
  18. Have the same thing myself as far as vision insurance. Just got a letter from them saying in 2019 they won’t cover anything but cleanings and cavities. So root canals, bridges, crowns, stuff that comes up as we age they are making out of pocket. Doing the math for heat the premiums cost, I will probably go out of pocket and maybe save myself a few bucks. That or find a new dental plan in open enrollment which of course will mean higher premiums. Much as I love the USA, our health care is disgraceful.
  19. That is interesting to know, Dee. I have experienced the "halos" for at least 15 years or more. They bother me most around the traffic signals and oncoming headlights. Don't drive at night unless it's an absolute necessity. The ophthalmologist told me many, many years ago that I was developing cataracts, so I just assumed that was the cause of the "halos". I don't drive far from home so can get by in the daylight. Just don't ask me to read a street sign. I use dollar store glasses for reading. Have just put my vision on the "back burner" for many years. I lost my vision insurance at retirement thirteen years ago and there were so many other things that needed financial attention. The doctor's visit is covered by medical insurance, but not glasses themselves. Go figure.
  20. Shirley: Don't mean to upset you, but I had the same symptom of the "halo" around the moon shortly after my husband died in 2015 and since I had not had my eyes checked for awhile as we were dealing with his illness, my annual appointments to my eye doctor were well past two years. One evening as I was letting my dog out for her last bathroom break, I was talking to my husband looking at the beautiful full moon, and saw the "halo" and commented to myself, "Now why does the moon have a halo?" Shortly after that I went to the optometrist to get new glasses and discovered I have macular degeneration in my left eye. I have stopped driving at night as well. Google macular degeneration and you will find a Amsler grid that will help you determine if you should see a eye doctor soon. Hopefully, new glasses will solve your problem. Just a suggestion. Dee
  21. Last week
  22. MartyT

    My Kitten Got Into the Dryer

    My dear, it breaks my heart to read of yet another kitty dying this way. I am astounded to find how often an accident like this keeps happening, and I wish with all my heart that we could find a way to prevent it from ever, ever happening again. I am so sorry for you, for your husband, for your darling Littles, and for all the others who've posted here and written to me with stories like your own. I hope you will read these stories and take some comfort from knowing you are not alone ~ and please note the resources I've included as well: Curious Cats Get Killed in Clothes Dryers Curious Cats Still Getting Killed in Clothes Dryers
  23. MartyT

    How do I go on without my little brother?

    I am so very sorry to learn of the death of your beloved brother Richard, and my heart reaches out to you in your pain, Kim. There is nothing you can do to stop the waves of grief and loss except to ride them, my dear. Unfortunately, feeling crazy and panicked and broken is exactly what I would expect you to be feeling right now, including the fact that who you were before this happened has died with your brother. You will never be the same as you were before this death upended your world, my dear ~ and even though the person you were before is gone and you may not recognize who you are now, that doesn't mean that you will not find ways to survive this catastrophic loss. You will find your own way through this jungle of despair, one day at a time ~ and we will do all we can to guide and support you. For now, please know that we welcome you here with open arms and caring hearts. ♥️
  24. Gwenivere

    Big mistake

    I don’t know, Kay. She seems to like being miserable. 😡. It’s the spreading it around power that annoys me. Getting ready to go there now. Wish I felt more enthusiastic.
  25. I did have that fungal pneumonia back in Kentucky. Not sure if a preventative shot would have helped that because it was a weird type. Definitely no fun. My immune system was shot to pieces then also. Son feeling better. Eating only baked chicken and rice, applesauce, and yogurt and drinking carrot juice, aloe vera juice, and water. Boring, but seems to be helping his stomach.
  26. I knew who it was and I think that should be the heading of the anonymous letter you go to the library and send it through the office email, and also corporate email addressed to "the bitch" whatever her name is. Actually, as many hours as you have logged in at that place they should have a plaque for "head volunteer" and an office and all the business comes down through you and bypasses "the bitch." What you do is donating your time, what she does is dictate, and you should not be able to dictate to precious volunteers or you will have to pay money for someone to take their place.
  27. Hello I'm Kim. I'm 35 and I'm a neuroscientist. My brother, Richard, was 27 and a 3rd year law student. He struggled with health issues his whole life and was in treatment for Neuroendocrine carcinoid syndrome for 7 years. It was a brutal road with many close calls... heart attacks, seizures, kidney and liver failure... he always bounced back. For the last year he had issues with blood sugar. The numbers would go from 30s to 500s....and he always got through it. I really thought he always would. On September 27 I got a call from friends of his that he hadn't gone to class and noone could get ahold of him. My parents and I live in PA and he was in Memphis. I had to send the police to open his apartment and he was gone. He had passed away in his sleep. I can't wrap my head around this. He and I were so different but very close. He was vibrant and upbeat and unfailingly optimistic and so so alive. I can't accept that I'll never see him again or hug him or ruffle his greasy hair... I feel so overwhelmed and crushed and like I can't go on. I feel like who I was before this happened is dead with him. I can't stop the waves of total grief and loss and I don't know what to do. I feel crazy and panicked and broken and wish I could take his place so so much. I would do anything to have just one more talk.
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