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  2. I am sorry for your loss. It's one of the hardest things I've gone through...one day at a time. Perhaps you can write him a letter and read it aloud...perhaps he can hear you. Try to forgive yourself. http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf I hope you were able to watch the video I posted above of the Rainbow Bridge.
  3. Thank you for sharing...I too thought of Arlie and how he would love the emerging of Spring, rides in the truck to the park, hikes. Beautiful picture of your Connor! Such precious memories.
  4. Today
  5. I guess I was angry about being guilted in not leaving the house. And, after reading your problems, it was petty stuff. I'm sorry and I hope this can be taken care of without much trouble. I would like for you to get some good news for awhile. No, the curfew does not bother me. Cannot drive after dark anyhow. The world has Humpty Dumpty sitting on a wall and I hope we can keep him there. I'm sorry about the breathing problems. I sure hope you get some relief. Heart with you.
  6. I just went through the same thing with my soulmate and best I, Purrelli. There will never be a cat like him again, he was a once in a lifetime pet. I feel so much guilt because I messed my life up so bad I couldn't take care of him for 8 months. Whe I finally got a chance to bring him too me, he had cancer. I had only four to five days before I had to put him to sleep. He loved me so much. I loved him like I've never loved anything before. I am so grateful I had those few days. But I hate myself for letting myself get into such a mess that I missed almost a year of his life
  7. Hi, I’m 23. I just had a bad day, probably the worst in years. I’m sure many of you who have lost a parent at a young age know what I’m talking about. I ask myself all the time if it’s normal for me to still think about my father passing every day, but nevertheless I do. I have truly felt lost emotionally for the longest time and I believe it prevents me from making true relationships outside of anyone who doesn’t know my past or had a similar experience. I’ve never sought out help, but I just can’t help it because I break down when I think about how vulnerable about I’ve been for a long time. I just wanted to try and ask this group, has anyone had a moment when they felt the turned the corner in terms of making relationships having felt so much grief at a young age? -J
  8. It may help to think of yourself as moving through your pain rather than moving on from it. The acute pain of loss recedes gradually as we learn to carry our grief, but the love we have for the one who has died does not "go" anywhere, and we are not required to "move on" from the ones we've loved and lost. Love is forever. ❤️
  9. Beautiful photo of your precious fur baby soaking up that sunshine ❤️
  10. I’m a bit confused by the last paragraph of your post, Marg. What are you angry about? The curfew? The whole predicament? I don’t change my 'out there' clothes. I just change when I get home. I couldn’t handle showers ash time I went out by people. My back couldn’t take it. I’ve been keeping my hair pinned up all day now as how I look just isn’t that important to me. Saves washing it too. I missed the chance to get a much shorter trim. My anger is at the virus. I’m still not clear on how it started. Bats or something? I remember the SARS thing years ago. Masks and fear, but this is so much worse. You defintely protected yourself going out. I don’t do all that stuff. I do the distancing and use lots of Purell when out. We were told here disinfecting groceries wasn’t needed anymore except produce. They closed all the bins for nuts, spices, flour and such. I just posted in another topic how the stores are now going to limit customer count. Not sure how I will handle that with my back and oxygen needs. Home delivery is days out, have to figure about 5 now. Washington and California are doing so well at containing the spread. We are still going to have isolation thru part of May and then assessed again. The worry is people coming into the state from others behind in protocols. I’m thinking air travel might get shut down. Don’t know how they will handle drivers. Don’t know if proposed moratoriums on rent and mortgages will happen. Hope so til people get monthly incomes again. Drat, just got a call from my doctors office and they want me in for this breathing problem. Normally that would be a good thing since everything has gone to televisits. This means they consider it serious and will probably lead to a heart specialist. It brings me me to despair and tears because I’ve done nothing but medical crap since late December and then the hospital stint. It just keeps going onside on and on. I’m so tired of it all. I’m tired of feeling off and no answers. I brushed Ally earlier and not even close to what she needs but it wiped me out after a couple other stops. Originally the doc said it was probably stress and anxiety. My labs and ER tests are considered OK. It’s time for a cry from frustration. Now I’m afraid of a heart attack or stroke. The docs just talk about stuff so casually not realizing the effect of all this has on a patient.
  11. Will you be working after your 2 week quarantine? I know it’s for essential employees. Washington just went to about mid May we are shut down except for that. I’m glad you will be reunited with your fur babies. So nice that someone got you food too. Stores are going to now limit the number of customers to half what is usual. This will be a problem for people like me with back problems and having to stand waiting. Guess if I see a line then will have to try other times. Many are closing earlier to restock. Stores are days out on home delivery . About a 5 day wait. I’m wondering if this will hit the airlines soon. Some states haven’t been as vigilant soon enough and that could keep things going longer. I don’t know how the economy is going to recover from this. I’m hoping on mortgages and rent they suspend payment and interest til people have monthly income again. I did hear talk of possibility dropping college loans for those in health care training. That would be awesome as those people are in such dire need and are already be called in to work depending on how far along they are. I sent a donation to a local church that has been giving out meals on Sundays. I stopped once to ask what was going on and they fed me! Stopped by yesterday to donate and they fed me again. I’m a believer in paying it forward. Want them to keep this up as there are a lot of homeless a few blocks away that finallly found them. This is all so hard to adjust to. If only we had our partners to share in this. It would make all the difference.
  12. well no spur of the moment run to get pizza. Would require good planning. I bet the plants and varmints you have up there are pretty tough. Going to get dad a docs appt tomorrow. At dessert tonight he coughed up phlegm for an hour. Got a callback from a doctor and he says is probably from his Parkinsons. And why he has trouble, he cant swallow at times, This is why he would say his pills wouldnt go down, and he was full of water and all the other things that he made excuses for. His muscles arent working properly so will see what they say At this point I dont know if or when i wil take exam. always seems to be something. Waiting to talk to the Internet people. I check dads email and he got one that looks like Phishing that the service will be cut off cause they have an issue with his billing info. Which looks good on his acct page but, anyway, stuck waiting. What all thses companies need to do is hire extra people to work at home to answer customer service calls. The puppy sounds fun. Must be a dream come true for him. Take good care and be safe
  13. Hi, Reading your response has helped me tremendously in this moment of grief. Thank you for being able to empathize and I am sorry for your loss as well. It’s been a few days now and the shock is receding a little. I think, because it’s been such a roller-coaster of feeling like something’s wrong, then feeling ok, then to be hit with a seizure like that, was really rough for me. In a way, I don’t want to get “over” it. I know as the days pass, the pain will recede, but that also means more of me has moved on. Every moment now I have to mourn for my girl, is in a way, another moment I spend with her. I completely understand the way you feel about everyday objects and routines. And like you, I talk to my Lucky girl. When I wake, when it’s time for our walks. Like now, as evening sets, it’s time for her dinner and I miss not having to feed her. I look at her leash hanging on her hook in the garage every day, and my heart wrenches. I find it helps to just, hold the leash, until my moment of mourning passes. Lucky has a sibling, and having him does help. He looks around at dinner time wondering, where is she? So I know he misses Lucky. I’m glad you have a little puppy for yourself now.
  14. Yesterday
  15. KayC- Yes I can go outside and thank goodness I will have my fur babies too! Home quarantine for two weeks by myself is a good idea since they say 1/4 of the people who have it can be walking around and not even know it. Don't want to take a chance with the people I love. It will be hard cause I've been away from home now for over two months. Anything to be safe and home again with family. God Bless
  16. I didn’t know him, but it is indeed bad news. I don’t know if he left behind family, but I hope, if he did, they find the support they need now having lost both parents, a bother and friends.
  17. I Lysol sprayed my mask, my lungs now have Lysol, I sprayed my shoes, top and bottom, all my clothes, hair, purse, put mask on and went in. I took about 6-7 lengths of Lysol wipes and kept lysoling my hands. Anyhow I did this going in, then getting back in my car, the seats and the steering wheel. I came home, deposited groceries on floor, sprayed over them in the car. Came home, showered with antibacterial soap and clean clothes. I have had enough guilt in my life and won't stand for it now. My son just called me and one of the workers that was sick before he got there, he passed away. So, I worry enough about him now. "Many things about tomorrow I don't seem to understand But I know who holds tomorrow And I know who holds my hand" I'm afraid I was my maiden name only 18 years. I have been my husband's name for 59 years and one thing you never did, my kids included, you did not tell them they could not do something (after the kids got of age to not mind anymore). I'm home and will take my blood pressure medicine. I hate getting so angry.
  18. Hello, Our world is facing quite a challenge. This will be our first Spring without Connor. It is going be 60+ in the PNW this week. He would have loved it. The sun is out. Our Cherry Blossoms have bloomed We miss him so much. With the season change, my husband and I find that we honor Connor in ways that make us laugh. "Connor would not like all of the cheery blossom flowers on his fur." "Connor would love that we just put out the lawn cushions." It hurts, but is also joyful. Please take care of you and your families. Elizabeth
  19. Dear Ones, Some of you may remember from 2009 one of our members whose display name was gatorman. He joined our tribe following the death of his beloved wife Cindy on March 12, 2009. Another of our dear members has just notified me of his tragic death. He was killed in an auto accident in St. Louis four months ago. Our hearts go out to his family and loved ones as we mourn the loss of one of our own. As the poet John Donne has written, No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as any manner of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. ❤️
  20. Things are getting so crazy the longer people are forced into isolating. Maybe doing things that are dangerous or just break the distance rule out of desperation. Those who have lost jobs and businesses are so very hurting. Places like Walmart have already started limiting access and other stores may follow. Online delivery is backed up for days. I thought about how it would be handled if it comes to essentially martial law. I think that might push people over the edge. I can’t imagine getting fined for taking a drive after a certain time just to get out of the house and not endangering anyone. They’d abide for a bit, but being treated as prisoners would backfire. People, especially now, need to feel they have SOME power of choice. Take that away and it’s going to get ugly. There’s already people stuck in domestic violence situations and that breaks my heart.
  21. Glen Myers: Words to live by. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story of your amazing Mom. Hugs, Dee
  22. Not just a curfew, we have a fine from $500 to $1000 if caught. It is unreal. This whole thing is unreal. Grief is unreal. Living is unreal. I have to go get a few things today. Toilet paper and towel paper are non-existent. We live in "another world" country. They buy out the meats. My daughter could not find HB meat. It is like living in a horror movie. Also, my sister has just shamed me into not getting out of the house. She was very stern (like my dad always was) by telling me I could not go to the store because I would bring the virus into Brianna and Scott. I am angry, mainly because there is truth in what she says, but I guarantee you the grocery store will not deliver her cigarettes. She will have to go out. Also her cat's food and litter. She is afraid mainly I might bring the virus to her and she is in no condition to fight it off. (Well, neither am I). Guess I might try grocery order later, but they cannot pick my stove parts out. (Orders are so far backed up sometimes you are given "days" before they can get to it. I understand.
  23. Karen, I got the impression from what Marg said that Bre is taller than her so yeah, she must be 5'8". Marg, I, too am great with numbers. I can spot something off on a report, enjoy reading statistics because they speak a story, numbers don't lie. They're concrete, something you can work with. My kids are like me in that respect. Both of them won the state mental math contests every year in school. But ask me to put something together with two or more parts? I'm out of my element. If someone shows me how to do it I can if I remember what they did but I have a hard time with reading instructions because sometimes they're written in a way I don't understand them or their drawings look like nothing I'm looking at. I'm visual. It has to be clear. I always kept manuals but nowadays they don't send manuals with things. I remember my boss threw away the manual to the new printer so everyone would ask me how to use it! I downloaded it and kept it on my PC. One of the reasons I hire someone to mow my lawn with THEIR lawnmower! One is I have hayfever, the other is I don't want to have to do the maintenance, it's beyond me. Income taxes, no problem, bookkeeping fun. I do not like doing state payroll taxes, quarterly or annual though, the feds aren't bad so far but next time's will be harder because they have something different on it I haven't heard of or studied yet. Sometimes I wonder, "When do I get to be old?" I still have to do things too much like jobs I've had. Ahh well, better than being bored I guess. Serious? You have a curfew?! Haven't heard of one here! But we can't congregate, if you don't live with someone you aren't supposed to be near them, period! Some people are breaking it, it's aggravating, they put us all at risk as these same people go to the store, gas station, etc.
  24. kayc

    Memories of Kitty

    A friend of mine was over one day and brought some Easy Cheese with him. He put some on Arlie’s nose and Arlie looked cross-eyed while trying to lick it off. Not to be outdone, Kitty wanted some and she’s been addicted to it ever since! I bought it just for her over the next ten years. She’d sit on the step stool loudly yowling until I gave it to her. She knew which cupboard it was kept in and she’d paw at it until I’d open it and give her some. Later she started sticking her little tongue in and out as if giving me the message she wanted some. She’d do her loudest begging when I was on the phone because I couldn’t hear with her carrying on and I’d hurry up and give her some to shut her up. She knew how to work it to her advantage. She'd spend hours in the kitchen, in the dark, waiting for me to come in so she could beg for some Easy Cheese!
  25. I am so sorry for the loss of your Lucky girl. (I had a Lucky girl too). I went through similar experience recently with my Arlie...getting his cancer diagnosis, it was too far gone to do anything so I provided hospice care. I ordered anything I thought would help his time left as his liver was failing. He lived 2 months 10 days past diagnosis. No amount of time is ever enough. I watched as he went downhill, the first month wasn't too bad but after that he was suffering, losing appetite, I had to bribe/coax him into eating. It is hard knowing when it is time. You think, if I hadn't done it, he could still be alive. Yes, but at what cost to him? When they die, their suffering transfers to us and we take it on. It's been 7 1/2 months and I love and miss him tremendously. I realize I'll never get over this. I can only hope to live with it. I get up, do my day, but everything is a reminder of his absence. Today I found the note I used to leave for his sitter when I went to my son's. It explained about his complicated diet, and that he had cancer. It told the words he knew. I can't throw it away. I still hold his coat that I have hanging on a chair. His leash and collar are hanging on a hook by the door, ready for me to take him for a walk. I freed him from his collar, for where he went, he has no need of it, he can roam free! Until we are together again. And I believe we will be together again, we were meant to be together. My heart breaks from you, such recent and sudden loss! It's the hardest thing in the world to get through. They mean the world to us! How do you live w/o your constant companion?! I don't know, I only know I've had to. I still talk to him, I still cry, my heart is still broken. After months of looking at rescues, my son brought me a puppy...it helps. He's not Arlie. No one is. But he's wormed his way into my heart through his own attributes/personality. He's different than Arlie, I still miss my wild-eyed boy who was goofy and fun and oh so smart! One never replaces another, but they do create their own spot in your heart and life. Arlie will always be my special one, my soulmate in a dog. http://www.griefhealing.com/comfort-grieving-animal-lovers.htm https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2010/09/is-pet-loss-comparable-to-loss-of-loved.html https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/animal-attachment/201703/my-pet-died-and-i-cant-stop-crying https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2015/06/pet-loss-do-pets-go-to-heaven.html https://www.griefhealingblog.com/p/pet-loss-articles.html https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2014/09/pet-loss-why-does-it-hurt-so-much.html https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/10/pet-loss-when-nothing-eases-pain.html
  26. Bri has two concerts in August. You know they will not have thousands of teens and young people all together by then. I was a child at the end of WW-II. I remember the rationing, I remember Mama's Victory Garden, the canning, and I might talk harsh about my mom, but that woman knew how to handle things. It was only when her mind was under the influence of Alzheimer's that things fell apart for her. I never saw the grief after Daddy passed away. I saw anger at him for having a cancer that could have been cured and instead of checking on it, he took his pastor's antibiotics to treat symptoms. He was always so afraid he was going to get cancer and he made sure Mama had her tests to check for things, but he didn't and she stayed angry at him for leaving. She looked like a movie star. She never let herself go like I have. I put off the Census until almost midnight of the day it was to be finished. I was scared to death of the numbers. I hate numbers. I had never filled out a census or income tax. Mama was a whiz with numbers. Anyhow, this is the first major trauma in life since Billy left. Jobs, lack of groceries, all the things they say are going to happen, all we can do is do like we have done so far, just get through it the best we can. We have a curfew of 8:00 p.m. And, I think I am just plain scared. I have admitted to being scared before, but that was not fear. I try not to watch the news. I'm out of words. That's unusual.
  27. I have the same concerns. What will people be like when this ends? How long wil it take for trust to be reastablished? I was behind a couple today who wouldn’t get near the checker. They were poking their groceries towards him then backing away. They hassled him too about not being sterile and he showed them his sanitizer and mask. I found it very insulting to someone there who is in contact with people all shift. Also safer than the self checks as they aren’t wiped down between customers. I knew it would start getting to people that aren’t nice to those keeping it possible for us to get our needs. I thank them always as I did all the medical staff when I was in the ER. I know this is a stressful time and nothing like we’ve ever seen. But no excuse to hassle others unless they are a true threat. We are to them also. Here in Seattle they keep stressing be kind and safe. We’re all in this together. i cry too, Dee. You aren’t alone. I think we are crying because we are alone. I’ve never envied couples so much as I do now. To come home to Steve would make this so much easier. Crying s good too, mental health specialists are encouraging it as a survival skill. Tight virtual hugs to everyone as it’s safe here. 💖
  28. Last week
  29. Gwen, so glad you're back home safely and "holding your own", except for the blasted pain. Marg, we got a free Netflix trial, so I've been watching it constantly. Lot of good movies. I also have Amazon Prime on my Kindle(don't know why, but I'll take it). I much prefer the TV to the Kindle for watching movies though. I'm not exactly paranoid, but having gone through the non stop coughing for weeks with the Aspergillus in 2014, being hospitalized and given a ton of meds because they couldn't figure it out, and getting Thrush from the steroids and now living with the residuals, plus constant shortness of breath, let's just say I'm especially cautious. Do not want to relive that experience! So, is Brianna 5'8" tall? She must take after Billy's side.
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