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I will be dead if I don't. I fight below the level of diabetes on every four-month lab work. I sure don't do it for fun. I miss raw vegetables, especially celery and have not had a wonderful salad in 10 years. Do you possibly use men's thick gloves to do all that work? Makes it harder to do but might lessen the injuries.

I have literally worked my tail off this week, countless hours in the garage. I separated into three sections...to throw away now, to throw away bit by bit (only so much fit into the dumpster), to give away, and the rest (tons of pieces of scrap wood from my XH's time here). I got everything put into the dumpster and started moving my son's bullet casings (tons of boxes of them with rotten box bottoms) I also discovered a box of CDs of his, why hasn't he taken them home? I threw away a stereo that had wires that weren't complete, he'd ran it threw the wall to the carport, I just tossed it. I gave an antique scythe to my neighbor and offered him other antique tools and gas can. The gas can was so cute, very antique! All heavy duty metal. Threw away a ton of steel and aluminum rods that I've no idea what they were for or went to. If I'm not going to use it, it can go. I need to do the same with the shop only that'll be way harder. Throwing away two cots (brand new but chewed on by mice or something), and an ironing board I saved for my daughter fors 18+ years, whatever she's been using all this time she can continue to use, not keeping forever! Got my son's hemlock boards stacked on other side of carport, will put back after the electrical room is worked on. I feel good about what is done. The Mormon missionaries had a flat tire so were late and I had nearly everything done by the time they got there (with several smashed fingers/knuckles), they finished stacking the hemlock and threw the blower box (weighs like an engine) in the dumpster). They got a bike rack down from the dumpster which I put a free sign on out by the road. If no one takes it I'll throw it away, I haven't ridden a bike since my 40s! I used to get groceries with this on my bike when I was young. Paid $20 for it 50 years ago. Got my use out of it. I still have to clean my kids' closets out, it can wait until I'm ready, also my own as well as back cupboards. Sounds like your parents' house was more normal than mine. I have so much to get rid of! A ton of games from a lifetime ago, now there's no one to play with. Aww but that can wait for a white elephant party or can give to Goodwill when I go to town. I need to make a donation every trip. I have to go again in six days but may not donate when I have doctor's appts as I'll have a set amount of time, then get groceries and head home. I have an eye appt 5/1. Watch, the contractor will want to come that day. I get scammers call all the time, spoofed numbers, etc, I don't answer. My phone says Spam Risk.

I have hundreds but have in a pw protected spreadsheet and it is backed up to an external drive, so any computer I buy I can put them on there. I've done this for years but not until this year has google chrome not let me in to view what it had saved, yay windows. No, in fact I wrote on FB yesterday that if it snows, it's my fault because I just put the cables away that go to my snowblower! Then they predicted snow this week, LOL, but above us, not our elevation. Gorgeous picture, it looks heavenly! You are so right, things have changed today, they no longer revere the elderly and learn from us. The world has changed and not for the better. I have to protect myself from the news somewhat.

OMAD is very healthy! It means you fast 23 hours/day in which your body has time to heal and improve. I have tons of energy! I literally got most of the work done on the carport yesterday and had filled the dumpster by the time help arrived (they had a flat tire so were late), they got the blower box into the dumpster! Also got a bike rack down from the rafters and finished stacking my son's hemlock boards on the other side of the carport (I had it started). Neighbor came over and got the antique scythe which I'd gotten down and also some chains and tools I knew I wouldn't use. I have several smashed fingers and places on my hands which I cleaned up and put neosporin on. I did better than I thought I would! I have everything organized into sections...stuff to get rid of little by little, stuff to give away, and the rest which is mostly wood, can be burned little by little or thrown away little by little. Our new pastor bought the house Pastor Dennis and Cindy had rented! They are busy packing. So excited! I called Susie's parents and we shared for 1/2 hour, it'd been years, it was nice. Sounds like where I live! Wish your sister well, Marg and bless you for helping her! Sounds like we eat opposite, my diabetes could never handle it, I'd be dead already if I ate what you eat! My BS this morning was 82, so glad. I've been under tremendous stress and it's finally lifting a bit!

Thank you so much for the detailed update, Laura ~ So good to hear from you! Stay healthy, and continue taking such good care of yourself ~ for you, and for us! Blessings to you, dear one! ❤️

Thank you, Kay - you are really an inspiration as a support person!

Thank you! I hope you two are doing well...

Hello, my friends. I think of you all frequently, although I haven't been on the site. However, I have been doing psychotherapy online for four years now and frequently encourage my grieving clients to check out the site for additional support. Grief is so hard... It's been two years since I completed my cancer treatments. In December a year ago I was declared cancer-free, but last year there was something on the breast MRI that appeared to be incidental findings and was too small to figure out if it even was anything. I was sent to radiology for an ultrasound to see if it was anything, but they made me do about 20 mammograms I told them I didn't want, while they tried desperately to stretch the U.S., MRI, and Mammo images into something that might be more cancer, but they couldn't find anything in spite of what seemed to be a diligent attempt to create an image of cancer out of nothing. Cancer was such a terrible experience and the worst part was fighting the inept doctors, in lock-step with arms linked against me. My own PCP said to me in my annual a year ago, "Who are You to question Medical Doctors?" They were so angry with me. I think the real outrage was that I kept challenging what they told me and what they withheld, and at every turn they were wrong and I was right. I decided to skip my annual physical this year, but did the bloodwork, which looked great. Also saw the gyno and podiatrist. Things seem to be fine. When I grumble about the ill-tempered and inept doctors, Helen reminds me that I should get over it, because there is still no reason anyone can come up with - in spite of trying - that would indicate that I have cancer. No sign of it. One thing I did get out of cancer has been a renewal of my athletic life. Originally, it was having read that 150 - 200 minutes of exercise per week would cut the risk of a recurrence in half, and 300 minutes would bring even greater benefits. I have been averaging about 430 for the past two years and it's been so helpful in so many ways. My weight is good, and stable. I have more strength and energy than I have had in years, and my focus and cognitive abilities are better than they have been in a long time. I even have better coordination and balance; not sure why or how. I feel like I ended up making the right choices in picking and choosing the treatments as I did, and really focusing on my diet and exercise as a long term commitment. Losing my dad and my aunt were hard blows, compounded by that car accident, and I don't think the cancer afterwards was a coincidence. But life goes on. Life is stable with Helen, and her COPD is better by way of plenty of loving care, Carda Health and now a SmartVest. I have gotten involved in Model Railroading and joined a local club. Lena just had a health scare, but is fine. Skyrocketing liver enzymes, but after an antibiotic that resolved and she just needs some dental work. My PCP, whom I skipped out on this year professes to practice "Preventative Medicine," but I think that's just early detection. I think the real Preventative Medicine is optimizing one's health via exercise and a plant-based Whole Foods diet. So far, so good! And now it's time for evening exercise... it takes some discipline but it's worth it.

Update. He followed through after a week. He called me earlier and we started talking again. We spoke for 30 mins. At the end of the call, he told me he is still grieving and he doesn't want to much emotions at the moment because it will trigger his grief. He couldn't say I love you because he doesn't want anything that has something to do with emotions at the moment. However he said he cares a lot about me that's why he reconnected and called back. We spoke like how we usually speak with each other. Catching up telling me how his day was and his whereabouts. So it seems like we are in good terms and I got no reason to be anxious and worried.

I almost forgot. I did a few pictures in AI to see what it came up with for a balcony. I would be happy with this, until I saw the cost lol.

Got my dishes and very happy with them. Today was 50s and alot of rain. Had a guy come by trying to sell me his electric company. I hate few things more than these people trying to scam me. I dont mind if they ask. but when i say I'm not interested just say thank you and leave. This deal of saying 'I'm not selling anything'..well yes they are and well they just lied to me so. And it is catastrophically disrespectful. theyre scammers and nothing more. Good thing you keep your passwords written down. years back my dad spent alot of time scanning in all our family pictures. then his drive crashed and he lost them all. Same thing has happened to me so i have a password book. Every so often when Windows updates my passwords fall out. Sometimes the website doesnt let you recover your info. Everyone should have a password book as backup. Electronics just arent full reliable. When I get unlazy will send pics of my dishes, like them very much. (seriously dont understand why im so lazy and unmotivated), Even found a couple Ramen bowls that almost match perfectly. Had not known they existed. Wide at the top and narrow on the bottom. Theyre supposed to be used for ramen noodles then add your meat and veges or an egg on top. And i discovered im allergic to white rice. have always loved it. I was getting acid reflux every time I had chicken and rice and gravy. But I dont get it with other chicken dishes. Ten I read that theres something in white rice that some people get allergic too...so thats not even a casual option anymore. But I guess thats ok because im loving my salads. Ive found a topping that is mixed nuts and cranberry and is delicious. So I'll have a big turkey or hamburger or chicken and a salad and fruit for dessert. Thank you for the recipe, ill have to try that, looks yummy. Some people just like old computers. They like seeing if they can get em to run and see how they work. I would be one of those except for life. Been waiting on more for my balcony. Some nights are in the 40s so dont want tropicals to die off. But I have a rocking chair and want a small side table net to that. have some windchimes. One short end is a wall. the other is open to look at the neighbors across the way. I thought a tall planter stand unit to put several on...else attach a bamboo blind that I can roll down. Not that I see them out there but still. The open long side has a wrought iron fencing with vertical posts. I as thinking to get some cheap bamboo shades and cover the iron. Then build a raised planter, even just bricks and a board...so the plants have the pots in shade and the foliage in sun. Plus I wont be looking at the parking lot. I have two trees that help block me out and really just one balcony that could see me. I just dont want to spend too much on it. How is your weather doing? I tried sending some of ours your way. Still have snow? A few nights ago I had a dream with Dad in it. Wasnt a troubling dream but it made me sad. Now I cant even remember it. One day soon i need to pull out some family history and read. I spent some time in dad's library trying to gain some insight into his thoughts and dreams. There was one written in the 1920s about a man's scrapbook he kept all during his life. it held a treasure of wisdoms and classical learning. And it struck me...how far things have changed. back then they valued and learned from the lessons of the past, learned from the great writings, sought wisdom, sought to make our society great. They revered and respected the past and its learned men and women. Today is total opposite. Emphasis is all placed on kids and that they know best and our hope lies in them. That the old ways were wrong and there was no wisdom in anything. It was just a bunch of greedy old white men trying to spoil the world. They do have a sideways take on the rich getting richer. But the people complaining dont get that the leaders of their movements are doing theexact same things. Anyway, we dont value the lessons of the past, the old wisdoms. They are opening things up to anarchy and the dumbing down instead of lifting up. Anyway, that struck me like a hammer and if I was eloquent i'd write on it. Ok, enough of that. Hope your week goes well, Take good care.

Kevin, is this what happens every year? You have massive snow (water) and then you have massive fires? We have massive flooding. I guess strange things happen wherever you live. I did love those water coolers in Albuquerque, and probably around Karen's home. But, the takeaway was it took water and water was not in high supply. They were so comfortable to sleep in at night, and I think Albuquerque is about 5,000 feet. Maybe more. I remember the doctors having people with heart trouble moving to lower levels. And, I'm on here trying to kill time to face the day and people with their petty gripes and fusses. Mama cannot choose sides anymore. So both get angry at Mama. Good. Means I don't have to talk to them.

As you know, my diet is high in carbs. I can have meat protein. The only vegetables I can have are potatoes, green beans, cooked carrots, cooked/pickled beets, and all the sweets I want as long as there are no nuts or seeds. I go to the doc every four months for lab work check and mostly blood sugar check. He realizes I cannot eat healthy. My mainstay is eggbeaters and instant grits. No corn whatsoever but can have grits and I have learned to make a "grits bread" from that. I fixed a potatoes, green beans, carrots and mushroom soup, HB meat, and beef broth soup last week that was actually good. I cut down on the size of it and had it two days. I hate to cook, and the frozen dinners all have seeds of some sort in them or corn. One day I just drank three Glucerna's. Probably the healthiest I have eaten. If I eat wrong, I suffer terribly. It is TMI to tell you how, but I do place a cross in my bathroom and say, "Please God, I promise not to eat that again." I have 13 crosses in my bathroom and have not had to add others in a long while. Propranolol helps my essential tremor, but my stay in the bathroom was four hours. I also had to cut out caffeine. Addict that I am, I miss that "lift" but cannot handle the shakes. My old reliable meds do not hurt me. Anything new heads to my gut and a prolonged stay in the essential room. Having a lot of (my kids) sibling rivalry and trouble right now. I do have to take care of my sister constantly, and my granddaughter is still here. Too much wear and tear on this nearly 82-year-old woman. I cannot run away from it. When I was fighting cancer in 1982, I had a lot of family troubles with my dad with cancer too. He was a mean cancer victim (like my sister) though and will have been gone 40 years day after tomorrow. Family troubles seem to be the norm with me, and I wrote that little ditty back then: "I'm not that important, life does go on, if I wasn't here then I'd be gone." Written out of pure exhaustion. I'm there again. And I'm still here. Gotta take my sister for surgery in south "big city" where all the traffic is. She will be impossible to handle, of course. But I am all she has, and we are our brother's keepers. As far as the LGBT (QRS) and whatever letters they add, you just live and let live and thank God it was not something you ever wanted to be. ADDENDUM: Kay, listen to Karen!!!!!

Kay, eating one meal a day does not sound healthy for you, especially losing too much weight. Sounds like you are working too hard and burning calories also. We are not "Spring Chickens". Slow down and breathe.

I'm exhausted, worked my tail off yesterday moving metal pipes from under patio to where they'll deliver the dumpster, also two cat scratchers, then I realized I had enough to fill it and we hadn't started on the area of the carport & electrical room that needs cleared out so they can work on it, so will put the cat scratchers back today, maybe I can put them on the next burn pile, will get Jack's opinion. Throwing away two new cots something chewed the foam out of, will send with garbagemen instead of dumpster. Having a time with my diabetes, don't know anyone who tries harder w/o the desired results, I'm feeling discouraged. Was ecstatic about our unanimous vote of our new pastor...which in turn raised my cortisol and hence my blood sugar. Working so hard yesterday raised my BS. Last week Iris gave me what she thought was a diet soda, 43 carbs!!! Drank 1/2, just got back into Ketosis and now this. I feel like giving up but can't this is my life. Need to make appt to see doctor, don't want to but will have to see him within two weeks, ugh. I'm eating OMAD, weight 102 with 10-15 lbs excess skin, that puts me at 87-92 w/o it. Size 2 jeans falling down, have nothing smaller. Hate to shop and can't buy w/o trying on, ugh. Anyway, this is my life, such as it is. Wish I could hear from my kids. I have a niece who is in a gay marriage, a gay couple down the street, married 27 years or so. They're nice. I don't judge. Can't understand because I'm not but don't judge them either.

Marg, my aspiration was to marry a cowboy and live on a ranch. Didn't happen. I have to laugh at these motivational speakers who tell you that you can be anything you want. NO YOU CAN'T! Being gay is not a lifestyle I would choose, but each to his own. I just want my grandchildren to be happy and safe. In the 90's here gearing up for summer.

Marty, I hope I don't get thrown off. Sorry folks, my vocational aspirations were just above the floor. Spent 43 years in medical transcription, and loved it.

I have a sister who is bi. She told me it was wonderful and the whole world was open. That was many years ago. Then, my daughter has gay vibes, sometimes I'm positive, sometimes I'm even more positive. My friend has a gay grandson, and she said you hate the sin but love the sinner. I'm not on that level. I accept it. My nephew, Billy's sister's son is gay. I know it is a surprise to the older generation, like me. But, damn I do accept it. I never knew there was a choice, in fact, I'm afraid I would have liked to dance in the cages above the floor with white high boots and pasties. That was when we had the Whisk-A-Go-Go's. I had the figure to do it then, but I'd make more money at it now. Couldn't do that with a deacon father. So, actually nothing surprises me and I totally accept it.

Karen, I have a Grandson who has a "friend" who appears to be Gay/Trans....it is a different world today.....Going to cool again tonight28F....And our first Fire alerts in the Fort McMurraY Area. Line ups for gas this morning, a little dramatic but its on the evacuation check lists...

I'm so sorry you are going through this. My fiance of a year broke up with me when his mom was dying, we remained friends after she died but they don't normally resume relationship when taking a time apart due to grief. I don't want to project on you what I went through but in the Loss of Love section, I've seen a lot of these situations and none of them resumed, I've read them all over the years. I thought a couple did only to have them message me later that they did not. I don't want to give you false hope, but some grievers are unable to do a relationship at the same time as grieving, those seem to be the ones we hear about here. Otherwise, the person would have no need to be here. Here I Go Again

My bf lost his dad 2 weeks ago, first 10 days he has been calling me everyday. Then suddenly he just asked for a week space. No calls and text. He hasn't been online as well. His phone is ringing and my last message is still pushing through. He said he wanted a week space to process his dad's death. Is that normal or okay? Do they really come back after a week? I worry about him.

Me too. I'm sorry that happened to you! This was all I had left of my MIL, she died 36 1/2 years ago. She was the mom I always wanted.

Ah, kayc, so sorry this happened to you. A contractor working on our property mowed down a tree peony that my husband cultivated. Hate it when that happens.

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, and for his wife's tremendous loss...I know what that feels, I lost my soulmate and best friend 19 years ago Father's Day. Living alone since excepting the short stint my son was between Air Force and College, that was long ago. Growing alone w/o my George. He died doing what he loved, glad for that part at least.

I'm so sorry about your diagnosis, but so glad to hear the lilac bloomed. The first thing I planted when moving here 47 years ago was a start off my MIL's lilac tree. It filled me with joy all these years. Last year the rangers (highly intrusive!) came and cut it down without announcing themselves here or their intentions, before 8 am! I ran out there in my robe and slippers, too late. Irreplaceable.