Lost,
I am so sorry to have read about your loss! Know this, there are people out there who will help you, that love you, and unless I have misread your post, you have a son who is probably going through some similar emotions, feelings of loss, and worry. In my experience it isn’t about moving on or forgetting-when my parents died it was difficult, but what helped me was to write about them, the good times, the bad, and yes, there were days when this backfired and I found myself in the midst of grief – there were also days when I found myself laughing and reveling in a wonderful memory of our time together. It still hurts, I can’t call or see them, but it isn’t so overwhelming.
Don’t think of me as presumptuous, I do not know your situation, but consider this: you and your son are in this together, do something to memorialize those who have passed on, talk about them, laugh and smile about the best memories! Your photo is of a happy home, don’t lose that…and if it’s not getting any better, help each other by seeking out a professional.
The Grief of Parent: A Lifetime Journey isn’t specific to your situation, however, the advice, warning signs, and resources are helpful. You’ve probably seen an article or two about understanding the grieving process, but this site also offers a good list of resources, to include an article on Grief, Trauma, or Depression , and Dealing with the Practical Aspects of a Spouse’s Death.
I will pray for you and your son, you’re reaching out, reach a little further, there are people here to support you if you fall.