Finding Your Way Through Grief

[Guest]

In August, shortly after Deedo had died, I bought a book from Hospice of the Valley titled: Finding Your Way Through Grief: A Guide for the First Year.  It was an amazing book.  I read it in August and again in September.  Many of the strategies I use daily came from that book.  Today I received a copy of IN TOUCH the Hospice of the Valley newsletter.  The feature article was taken from Part Three of Finding Your Way Through Grief: A Guide for the First Year.  It was not until I read this article that I realized that our own Marty Tousley was the author of the book.

Marty, I want you to know what an impact your words have had and continue to have on me.  I sat down and reread your book for the third time today and will most likely read it monthly as I progress through this process.  THANK YOU my dear!  You are indeed one of the many angels I have encountered as I move along this journey that started twenty-two months ago when my sweet, adorable wife was first diagnosed.

[MartyT]

My dear Brad, your very kind words just warm my heart. That book was published by Hospice of the Valley in 2008, and I am very proud of it. When I was asked to write it, I wanted to include everything I had ever learned about grief, both in my professional experience as a bereavement counselor and from my own personal experience as a bereaved mother, daughter and friend. Although the second edition was published several years ago, its content is as accurate and reliable today as it was when I first wrote it. I am so pleased and gratified to learn that you find it helpful. Blessings to you, and thank you for telling me so!  ♥

[enna]

Brad,

I agree with what you said about the book. It is one that continues to help me. There is so much available to us as we move through our grief journeys. We are fortunate to have Marty here with us guiding us. I hope others go to her  healing grief blog and read the material that applies to them. 

[Guest]

Marty -

I have to be honest.  Until today I thought that I had come up with my "Crying Time" myself.  It wasn't until I was re-reading your book that I realized that was where I got it from.  For me it has become a daily ritual.  I find that by taking control of when I cry, because I do know I'll cry, it helps me avoid breakdowns in places where I prefer not to show that emotion.  It is a brilliant suggestion and I was proud to have considered an original thought if only for a few months.  

[MartyT]

Oh Brad ~ take the idea and keep it! If it works for you, that is all that matters! 

[WolfsKat]

7 hours ago, Brad said:

 Until today I thought that I had come up with my "Crying Time" myself

I hope no one takes this the wrong way....but I actually do a lot of my crying while on this site.  So much so, I stopped getting Kleenex and now keep a roll of Charmin at hand (cheaper and just as soft)......I think it is because I feel safe enough here, to let it flow.  I know.....kinda odd.

[Gwenivere]

Not odd at all.  I moved up to paper towels.  Kleenex can't handle times like this.  

[Guest]

This is a good place to let it all go.  I start my days with pictures, videos, notes, letters of/from Deedo.  My thinking is if I get all my crying over with first thing then I can handle the rest of the day.  Doesn't always work but does seem to help.

 

Also on another thread I boasted how I hadn't read a paper book in years..... This is the exception.  I do wish it was available in ebook format though.  

[MartyT]

Just so you know, Brad, another version of the book is available as an ebook here: http://healingebooks.com/grief-ebook.html

[Guest]

Thank you Marty.

[Gwenivere]

8 hours ago, Brad said:

This is a good place to let it all go.  I start my days with pictures, videos, notes, letters of/from Deedo.  My thinking is if I get all my crying over with first thing then I can handle the rest of the day.  Doesn't always work but does seem to help.

I've tried that too.  It's always hit and miss.  Grief is too sneaky.  But I do know that crying does weaken it for a bit.  So we are not without weapons in this fight.

[Guest]

 

12 minutes ago, Gwenivere said:

I've tried that too.  It's always hit and miss.  Grief is too sneaky.

Grief is the most possessive and controiling of emotions.  Just when you start to feel something other than grief....Wham!!!! There it is again.  It will not go down without a fight.

[WolfsKat]

1 hour ago, Brad said:

 

Grief is the most possessive and controiling of emotions.  Just when you start to feel something other than grief....Wham!!!! There it is again.  It will not go down without a fight.

Brad, you are so very right. Grief mugs a person......sneaks in like a ninja attack.  It certainly has to be the very WORST of all human emotions.....and it can control every facet of your being!  I'd not wish this agony on my worst enemy!

[Guest Janka]

On ‎3‎.‎1‎.‎2016 at 8:21 AM, Gwenivere said:

Not odd at all.  I moved up to paper towels.  Kleenex can't handle times like this.  

Oh,my dear Gwen...

    

         Janka