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I almost forgot. I did a few pictures in AI to see what it came up with for a balcony. I would be happy with this, until I saw the cost lol.

Got my dishes and very happy with them. Today was 50s and alot of rain. Had a guy come by trying to sell me his electric company. I hate few things more than these people trying to scam me. I dont mind if they ask. but when i say I'm not interested just say thank you and leave. This deal of saying 'I'm not selling anything'..well yes they are and well they just lied to me so. And it is catastrophically disrespectful. theyre scammers and nothing more. Good thing you keep your passwords written down. years back my dad spent alot of time scanning in all our family pictures. then his drive crashed and he lost them all. Same thing has happened to me so i have a password book. Every so often when Windows updates my passwords fall out. Sometimes the website doesnt let you recover your info. Everyone should have a password book as backup. Electronics just arent full reliable. When I get unlazy will send pics of my dishes, like them very much. (seriously dont understand why im so lazy and unmotivated), Even found a couple Ramen bowls that almost match perfectly. Had not known they existed. Wide at the top and narrow on the bottom. Theyre supposed to be used for ramen noodles then add your meat and veges or an egg on top. And i discovered im allergic to white rice. have always loved it. I was getting acid reflux every time I had chicken and rice and gravy. But I dont get it with other chicken dishes. Ten I read that theres something in white rice that some people get allergic too...so thats not even a casual option anymore. But I guess thats ok because im loving my salads. Ive found a topping that is mixed nuts and cranberry and is delicious. So I'll have a big turkey or hamburger or chicken and a salad and fruit for dessert. Thank you for the recipe, ill have to try that, looks yummy. Some people just like old computers. They like seeing if they can get em to run and see how they work. I would be one of those except for life. Been waiting on more for my balcony. Some nights are in the 40s so dont want tropicals to die off. But I have a rocking chair and want a small side table net to that. have some windchimes. One short end is a wall. the other is open to look at the neighbors across the way. I thought a tall planter stand unit to put several on...else attach a bamboo blind that I can roll down. Not that I see them out there but still. The open long side has a wrought iron fencing with vertical posts. I as thinking to get some cheap bamboo shades and cover the iron. Then build a raised planter, even just bricks and a board...so the plants have the pots in shade and the foliage in sun. Plus I wont be looking at the parking lot. I have two trees that help block me out and really just one balcony that could see me. I just dont want to spend too much on it. How is your weather doing? I tried sending some of ours your way. Still have snow? A few nights ago I had a dream with Dad in it. Wasnt a troubling dream but it made me sad. Now I cant even remember it. One day soon i need to pull out some family history and read. I spent some time in dad's library trying to gain some insight into his thoughts and dreams. There was one written in the 1920s about a man's scrapbook he kept all during his life. it held a treasure of wisdoms and classical learning. And it struck me...how far things have changed. back then they valued and learned from the lessons of the past, learned from the great writings, sought wisdom, sought to make our society great. They revered and respected the past and its learned men and women. Today is total opposite. Emphasis is all placed on kids and that they know best and our hope lies in them. That the old ways were wrong and there was no wisdom in anything. It was just a bunch of greedy old white men trying to spoil the world. They do have a sideways take on the rich getting richer. But the people complaining dont get that the leaders of their movements are doing theexact same things. Anyway, we dont value the lessons of the past, the old wisdoms. They are opening things up to anarchy and the dumbing down instead of lifting up. Anyway, that struck me like a hammer and if I was eloquent i'd write on it. Ok, enough of that. Hope your week goes well, Take good care.

Kevin, is this what happens every year? You have massive snow (water) and then you have massive fires? We have massive flooding. I guess strange things happen wherever you live. I did love those water coolers in Albuquerque, and probably around Karen's home. But, the takeaway was it took water and water was not in high supply. They were so comfortable to sleep in at night, and I think Albuquerque is about 5,000 feet. Maybe more. I remember the doctors having people with heart trouble moving to lower levels. And, I'm on here trying to kill time to face the day and people with their petty gripes and fusses. Mama cannot choose sides anymore. So both get angry at Mama. Good. Means I don't have to talk to them.

As you know, my diet is high in carbs. I can have meat protein. The only vegetables I can have are potatoes, green beans, cooked carrots, cooked/pickled beets, and all the sweets I want as long as there are no nuts or seeds. I go to the doc every four months for lab work check and mostly blood sugar check. He realizes I cannot eat healthy. My mainstay is eggbeaters and instant grits. No corn whatsoever but can have grits and I have learned to make a "grits bread" from that. I fixed a potatoes, green beans, carrots and mushroom soup, HB meat, and beef broth soup last week that was actually good. I cut down on the size of it and had it two days. I hate to cook, and the frozen dinners all have seeds of some sort in them or corn. One day I just drank three Glucerna's. Probably the healthiest I have eaten. If I eat wrong, I suffer terribly. It is TMI to tell you how, but I do place a cross in my bathroom and say, "Please God, I promise not to eat that again." I have 13 crosses in my bathroom and have not had to add others in a long while. Propranolol helps my essential tremor, but my stay in the bathroom was four hours. I also had to cut out caffeine. Addict that I am, I miss that "lift" but cannot handle the shakes. My old reliable meds do not hurt me. Anything new heads to my gut and a prolonged stay in the essential room. Having a lot of (my kids) sibling rivalry and trouble right now. I do have to take care of my sister constantly, and my granddaughter is still here. Too much wear and tear on this nearly 82-year-old woman. I cannot run away from it. When I was fighting cancer in 1982, I had a lot of family troubles with my dad with cancer too. He was a mean cancer victim (like my sister) though and will have been gone 40 years day after tomorrow. Family troubles seem to be the norm with me, and I wrote that little ditty back then: "I'm not that important, life does go on, if I wasn't here then I'd be gone." Written out of pure exhaustion. I'm there again. And I'm still here. Gotta take my sister for surgery in south "big city" where all the traffic is. She will be impossible to handle, of course. But I am all she has, and we are our brother's keepers. As far as the LGBT (QRS) and whatever letters they add, you just live and let live and thank God it was not something you ever wanted to be. ADDENDUM: Kay, listen to Karen!!!!!

Kay, eating one meal a day does not sound healthy for you, especially losing too much weight. Sounds like you are working too hard and burning calories also. We are not "Spring Chickens". Slow down and breathe.

I'm exhausted, worked my tail off yesterday moving metal pipes from under patio to where they'll deliver the dumpster, also two cat scratchers, then I realized I had enough to fill it and we hadn't started on the area of the carport & electrical room that needs cleared out so they can work on it, so will put the cat scratchers back today, maybe I can put them on the next burn pile, will get Jack's opinion. Throwing away two new cots something chewed the foam out of, will send with garbagemen instead of dumpster. Having a time with my diabetes, don't know anyone who tries harder w/o the desired results, I'm feeling discouraged. Was ecstatic about our unanimous vote of our new pastor...which in turn raised my cortisol and hence my blood sugar. Working so hard yesterday raised my BS. Last week Iris gave me what she thought was a diet soda, 43 carbs!!! Drank 1/2, just got back into Ketosis and now this. I feel like giving up but can't this is my life. Need to make appt to see doctor, don't want to but will have to see him within two weeks, ugh. I'm eating OMAD, weight 102 with 10-15 lbs excess skin, that puts me at 87-92 w/o it. Size 2 jeans falling down, have nothing smaller. Hate to shop and can't buy w/o trying on, ugh. Anyway, this is my life, such as it is. Wish I could hear from my kids. I have a niece who is in a gay marriage, a gay couple down the street, married 27 years or so. They're nice. I don't judge. Can't understand because I'm not but don't judge them either.

Marg, my aspiration was to marry a cowboy and live on a ranch. Didn't happen. I have to laugh at these motivational speakers who tell you that you can be anything you want. NO YOU CAN'T! Being gay is not a lifestyle I would choose, but each to his own. I just want my grandchildren to be happy and safe. In the 90's here gearing up for summer.

Marty, I hope I don't get thrown off. Sorry folks, my vocational aspirations were just above the floor. Spent 43 years in medical transcription, and loved it.

I have a sister who is bi. She told me it was wonderful and the whole world was open. That was many years ago. Then, my daughter has gay vibes, sometimes I'm positive, sometimes I'm even more positive. My friend has a gay grandson, and she said you hate the sin but love the sinner. I'm not on that level. I accept it. My nephew, Billy's sister's son is gay. I know it is a surprise to the older generation, like me. But, damn I do accept it. I never knew there was a choice, in fact, I'm afraid I would have liked to dance in the cages above the floor with white high boots and pasties. That was when we had the Whisk-A-Go-Go's. I had the figure to do it then, but I'd make more money at it now. Couldn't do that with a deacon father. So, actually nothing surprises me and I totally accept it.

Karen, I have a Grandson who has a "friend" who appears to be Gay/Trans....it is a different world today.....Going to cool again tonight28F....And our first Fire alerts in the Fort McMurraY Area. Line ups for gas this morning, a little dramatic but its on the evacuation check lists...

I'm so sorry you are going through this. My fiance of a year broke up with me when his mom was dying, we remained friends after she died but they don't normally resume relationship when taking a time apart due to grief. I don't want to project on you what I went through but in the Loss of Love section, I've seen a lot of these situations and none of them resumed, I've read them all over the years. I thought a couple did only to have them message me later that they did not. I don't want to give you false hope, but some grievers are unable to do a relationship at the same time as grieving, those seem to be the ones we hear about here. Otherwise, the person would have no need to be here. Here I Go Again

My bf lost his dad 2 weeks ago, first 10 days he has been calling me everyday. Then suddenly he just asked for a week space. No calls and text. He hasn't been online as well. His phone is ringing and my last message is still pushing through. He said he wanted a week space to process his dad's death. Is that normal or okay? Do they really come back after a week? I worry about him.

Me too. I'm sorry that happened to you! This was all I had left of my MIL, she died 36 1/2 years ago. She was the mom I always wanted.

Ah, kayc, so sorry this happened to you. A contractor working on our property mowed down a tree peony that my husband cultivated. Hate it when that happens.

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, and for his wife's tremendous loss...I know what that feels, I lost my soulmate and best friend 19 years ago Father's Day. Living alone since excepting the short stint my son was between Air Force and College, that was long ago. Growing alone w/o my George. He died doing what he loved, glad for that part at least.

I'm so sorry about your diagnosis, but so glad to hear the lilac bloomed. The first thing I planted when moving here 47 years ago was a start off my MIL's lilac tree. It filled me with joy all these years. Last year the rangers (highly intrusive!) came and cut it down without announcing themselves here or their intentions, before 8 am! I ran out there in my robe and slippers, too late. Irreplaceable.

Prayers, Sweetie!

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis, good luck with your treatment. Love that his lilac bush had bloomed for you. Good luck to you

The weekend after my soul mate died (5 years ago) my husband and I planted a lilac bush, and dedicated it to his memory. Unfortunately the spot we chose was too shady, and despite growing tall and strong, the plant never bloomed. A few days ago I got an unwelcome diagnosis at my annual physical. Not catastrophic, manageable, but still a sobering development. But as I always do at times like these, I think of my friend, and tell myself that if a problem has a solution, or at least a management strategy, then it's not a problem. And now today, 5 years since his death, the lilac bloomed, for the very first time. It looks like this is the only flower we will get from it this year. It was as if my friend were speaking to me saying, "Stay strong, baby".

Thank you. I'll update as things progress.

Keeping you in our thoughts and prayers as you find your way through this latest challenge . . . ❤️

I'm sorry for all your losses. Mati was beautiful. She looks a lot like my baby Nile. Super fluffy! My cats are family. As Kayc said, pets is just a simple name that is deemed more acceptable. I had a soulcat too. His name was Beck. They all mean the world to me but Beck was just different. I know I'll never meet another like him. I can relate to your bond with Mati.

Hello Nile, With your last Solensia shot, the tech advised me you've lost weight. I noticed too... It's getting difficult to feed you your medicated food. I've started mixing Sylvester and Machete's regular food more and more to get you to eat. And that's okay. The last thing I want to do is deny you food. If you like it, you can have it. I learned the hard way with Beck that giving you food you don't like is just cruel. I've also noticed you fall now. I've seen you do it twice. Your back legs are giving out on you. When Cleo was at her last few weeks she did the same. I'm preparing myself for the worse. I'll never be ready but I'll be as ready as I can to help you transition to the meadows. I hope I can have an at-home euthanasia. We will see what happens. You're still in good spirits and run around a lot so I'm not at the point of saying good bye. I just want to make sure you're comfortable and living the best life you can. I can see you're still happy. I'm willing to get you a stronger pain med if that's what you need and I know I need to be very vigilant at the same time. Other than pain meds I refuse further treatment. I love you and I won't let you suffer. I want to make your last while with me the best I can. Extra treats and more and more of the food you enjoy. You don't know it yet but you're getting a bath today, and a thorough brushing. Your spring coat is shedding and I can see mats! I don't want you to get those, I know how painful they can be. I will ask for forgiveness later for the bath, with a lot of cheese treats. They're you're favourite and I bought them with you in mind. Love you!

Hello @Rudderless, I haven't been on the site much lately , it's just so hard to put grief feelings into words at times, I think to myself: "What am I gonna say?", but when I checked in and saw your post, I was particularly touched. You echo my words so much, I thought I was going crazy with my "stuck in denial" situation after three and a half years. I'm not ready to pronounce that "d" word you mention that you can finally say out loud. I don't think I ever will be ready. You've passed a giant hurdle and I'm glad for you, wishing you all the strength you need for you and your young family. I also see every part of my husband in my two adult children, both physically and through their behavior and way of reasoning. I find that my husband is speaking through me in certain occasions, he's helping me out a lot in solving problems. We always say: "this is what dad would do/think/say". I love that, it keeps me going, but for me, their dad is just "not here" whereas on the other hand he is present in our lives in every way, even if not physically. His influence on our way of life, our decision-making, his legacy of knowledge, these precious gifts we have from him are giving us our fuel to carry on, "taking" him with us for the rest of our lives. I also have difficulty talking to my son and daughter, it's just still so painful, there is no perfect time perhaps to talk , it will all just happen gradually and spontaneously, without planning anything. There are "no rules in grief", like my friends here on this site have perfectly explained to me. Wishing you better, more peaceful days.

I worked with him for over four years. He was always happy with a boisterous laugh. He embellished the truth all the time, but it just made him entertaining. Everyone at work is affected by this, myself included. I only work there part time now for the time being until I find another job, and last time I saw him he apologized to me for something that had happened. At first I said he had nothing to be sorry for because what happened was not his fault. But he insisted and I accepted his apology. He thanked me before he left for the day. I am so so glad I accepted his apology because if I hadn't I would carry that guilt forever. Last month he was so excited as he showed me pictures of the motorcycle he was hoping to buy. Two weeks ago he was so excited as he told me he was going on a road trip to a neighbouring province to visit a friend. Two days ago he died riding his bike when he collided with a moose on the highway on the way to visit his friend. I'm no stranger to a sudden death but for some reason I'm really struggling to wrap my mind around the fact that I spoke to him just last week and now he's gone forever. It's strange. I know he wouldn't want anyone to be sad, or at least not for too long. I feel bad for his wife. And the moose. The whole situation is just so ugly. RIP J.K.