Some neighbors I have been having a legal dispute with broke my cat's neck and threw it behind my fence. I know it was deliberate because his collar was taken off. I have been through the loss of pets before, from my first kitty who was run over when I was 4 to the loss of 2 cats I had had for 18 and almost 17 years which about broke my heart. This little fellow was a feral who was brought to me by the neighborhood tomcat when he was maybe 6 weeks old, a little tiger tabby with slightly crossed eyes. He became semi-tame, never lived indoors because I have another oldster almost 17 who wouldn't have been OK with it, but Baby came daily for food and cuddles, even let me pick him up. I had him fixed and his shots and a microchip put in. He was healthy, actually chubby, sleek, a truly beautiful cat. He has a little feral pal who was his shadow, a kitty born about 3 months after him, who is devastated as am I. I am having enough trouble dealing with his death, knowing it was murder (the police don't care as I have no 'proof' even though I reported the neighbor months ago for animal cruely for smacking another cat)....the worst part is my friends have not been there for me, which is why I came here. My 'best friend' who only lives across the street has yet to respond to my urgent crying call over 24 hours ago right after I found the body; another friend a block ove, likewise no response to both a call and a note on her door. Two out of state friends sent me trite, shallow emails, one short paragraph, and the other five lines none longer than a dozen words. Neither offered to call me (I am on Social Security and can't afford to call them even though they have cell phones with free minutes.) The only caring response I have gotten is someone I have only exchanged a couple of emails with about cat care, she sent a warm compassionate letter. I am dealing with grief, but also guilt for not having made him an indoor cat so he wasn't vulnerable to the neighbors, and also for having disrupted his feeding schedule the last week because I wasn't doing very well myself with upset about the legal case and about Hurricane Katrina. I think it made him easier to trap. I just don't know how I can go on. I look out the window to the fence where he used to jump up into the tree...I want to leave here, move out and never come back, but I am broke, and it would give the neighbors the final victory that their horrible act made me give up the fight. Just don't know what to do and hope for someone to talk to here.