Robbcity

I wanted to take a few minutes to share who Craig was. He was the best friend that I had and best father I could have asked for, for our children. He loved life and was the most caring, thoughful person. He loved the Redskins who also happened to beat the Dallas Cowboys this past week and I know that he would have loved that game. Craig loved his children more than life itself. He lives on in both of them with our daughter resembling him physically in many ways and sharing his love for dogs. Our son David is the spitting image of him and wears his feelings on his sleeves and is a people person as his father was. I hold our children tight and pray that I am also holding Craig and making him know how much we love him and miss him and will always keep him with us. I would like to share some beautiful comments that our children have made regarding this incredible loss. Our 10 year old told me the other day that we lost Craig for a reason and we will one day know what that reason was. David says that his father is always with us now even when we he is in school, whereas before his dad would have to go to work. Hopefully this will give many of you some good feelings about our loved ones ALWAYS being with us. Goodnight and God bless,

Hello again, I appreciate everyone's thoughful responses to my posting a few nights ago. I think what is the most difficult for me right now is the mere fact, that I CAN"T grieve right now. My two young children force me to maintain and keep moving. I believe that this is good in many ways and I am so glad that I have them to keep me going. On the other hand I am ALL ALONE here in the valley of the sun and am overwhelmed by having to do EVERYTHING by myself. I am the mother/father/ provider .... everything for the children and I can't do it all alone! Unfortunately both of our families reside on the east coast and NO ONE has any intention of coming out to help even for a few days to give me some respite. I do pray a lot and use to run to de strss before I lost Craig but now I am ALWAYS tired because of all that I have to do. I simply don't know how I can keep going like this. I know that I need to take care of myself and yet I am so busy taking care of the children and working that I am always getting the shorter end of the stick. I have even missed the last two support groups this month because I felt the kids needed me more. Of course at night is when I think about Craig and how I found him and how he was too young to die. How he had so much to live for yet and was the best dad in the world. I pray that God is taking good care of him because I worry that he is so alone even though my grandmother and his dad are with him. As I am sure you can tell my emotions are just running haywire right now. This is all so painful! In many ways I want to "hear" Craig talk to me and yet I am scared because that means to me that I have accepted his death and there is NO WAY that he will ever come back to us. I smell his clothes sometimes at night to feel closer to him and pray that the clothes NEVER lose his scent. How am I suppose to keep moving along? My life has stopped being the way it was and yet I have to get up every morning and act as if our new life will be okay. It's not and I feel like it will never be okay. Thank you ALL again for reading and hopefully giving me some advice on how to get some sort of handle on this.

Hello, This is my first time on this web site as well.I lost my life partner almost 5 months ago to a massive heart attack and am still reeling from this. We have two young children and no other family/ real close friends on this side of the country. I feel the "fog" has liften that I was in at first but am still not able to "deal" with his death or that of my grandmother two weeks prior to his. I have lost any energy or desire to do anything for myself. I try to live for the kids and taking care of them but feel myself falling under the strain of doing everything now. Does anyone have any advice on how I can get my energy back? Is this a normal process of grief? I find myself doing everything that I have to for the kids and work but fail to find any energy for myself. I am always tired and just want to sleep. I worry and pray that he's in a better place and being taken care of and not scared or lonely. I want to "hear" or "feel" his presence as many have told me I should be able to and yet I can't seem to do this. Doing this makes me feel that I have accepted his death versus thinking that he will be back real soon. Thank you for letting me express my thoughts tonight. It helps to know that I am not alone with this grief and constant pain.