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vgbowers

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  1. I have read the emails from "Where Do I fit in" and find that I am in a similar situation. On Mothers Day of this year , I lost my 8 year old nephew to cancer. He had been fighting a brain tumor since he was 15 months old. Losing him was probably the hardest thing my family has ever experienced. Since his death I have found myself to have both good and bad days with the bad days to consist of disbelief, crying uncontrollably, and questions of which I can find no answers. I have 7 other nieces and nephews in my family but Tyler, was the only one who when you asked him to come and spend the night with you got so excited as if it was christmas. He was a loving child, far knowledgable for his years and even tho at times he was in great pain, he always said he was ok . He would always tell you he loved you and say Aunt Vicki, I think you need a hug when he would see that I was down. When I am around his mother, who is my baby sister, I find myself trying to search for the right words to say and not upset her. Sometimes even then it is her who consoles me. Last month, I lost my black lab dog of whom Tyler and I were very close with. The death of my dog only contributed to the already pain I was still trying to deal with. I hide my crying and try to put up a happy face when I am around my family but am wondering how I can get thru the holidays. I am the oldest in my family and have always tried to be the strong one, until now. I believe that Tyler is alright. I know thru my faith in Jesus that he is with him but it still sometimes does not console me here on this earth. I hope with time I can find the answers I need and the words to console my family as well as myself.
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