beth

Hi Larry, My name is Beth. I lost my only child in March of 2005. His name was Thomas. He turned 20 on March 2 and was killed in a car wreck March 6 (my birthday). I am approaching the 1 year anniversary of his death and am really scared. I wanted to write to you because I am a little farther along in the grief process and would like to offer you SOME hope! I never thought I would live through his death, but here I am. I have found that reading all I can about the grief process and what to expect has helped me. I look especially for books on the death of a child. It does not matter how old you children are....They are still you CHILDREN. One book I found really helpful was "HOLDING ON TO HOPE". I do not remember the author, but if you are interested and cannot find it I will look up the info & let you know. I do not know if you are a CHristian. I am and prayer has been the biggest comfort of all to me! I hope you don't mind if I add you to my prayer list. No one can understand your pain or tell you how to grieve. You will have to find you own way. I hope it helps to know that there are others like us and they somehow survived this terrible tragedy. No parent should have to bury their child! Unfortunatly we did and our lives will never be the same, but we can go forward. Our lifes will forever be different. The thing I look forward to now is the day I will see him again in Heaven. Feel free to contact me and I will be happy to share any information I have. May God give you comfort, peace and mercy. Beth

Hi, I am Beth. I had a son, Thomas, who was killed in a car accident in March. It was 4 days after his 20th birthday. I feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest. I have never felt such pain and sense of hoplessness. I don't mean suicide hopeless. Just Hopeless. I do not feel like I have anything to look forward too. I built my life around Thomas. We were always very close. Not only was he my Son, he was my Friend. I was always interested in what he did and we had lots of common interests. We dined out together on a regular basis and I did things with Thomas and his friends. I have had his friends tell me that they envied the relationship we had. We always had each others back. We joked, played, laughed and cried together. HE was an amazing young man. He was compassionate, kind, loving and a devoted friend to all who knew him. I can't understand why HE died and I am still here. I feel he could have made such a contribution. I just wanted you all to know a little about my son. I hope to hear from someone who is farther along in the grief process. I hope someone can tell me that I may feel better one day! Please Thanks for the forum, BEth

Hi, My name is Beth. I think we may have alot in common. I too was a single mom who raised my son, Thomas. He was my only child. He was killed in a car wreck on March 6 2005. That was 4 days after his 20th birthday and on my 45th birthday. I will never celebrate my birthday again and I really do not want to celebrate anything anymore. How do we go forth. I used to look forward to the future. Living a long healthy life, watching my only child marry, raise a family and have a wonderful life. Now I hope I do not live to a ripe old age. I do not want to feel this pain for the next 30 years. Why am I still here, why did my precious son lose his life right when it was starting? What am I supposed to look forward to. Why should I get up everyday. I pretend to be doing better, but it is a facade. I wonder if I will every feel better? I wonder if you also have these feelings. Will we every be happy again? I don't know. But I have to believe I will. I DO believe in Heaven and GOD. I know that if I try to leave this earth before God is ready for me, then I may not be able to spend eternity with my Thomas and my Lord. That does give me HOPE. I pray alot and talk to my family about THomas all the time. It helps when you have a strong support group and faith in the LOrd. I always told myself that is something happened to Thomas, I would not survive. But I am still here and it is a struggle, but here I am. Again, WHY???? I know I have not said anything to ease you suffering, but, maybe it will help to let you know that I feel for you and maybe we could share our thoughts if you would like. I will pray for you to find peace and for God to help you wiith your pain. God Bless and keep you, BEth