MaryG

Maylissa Thank you for your response. I'm sorry for your losses. I'm glad you found a way to enjoy Thanksgiving. It must be tough not to have any family near to share the holidays with. I'd be lost without my daughter and son and grandkids. The holidays are about the only time I get to see some of them so I do look forward to that. Mary

Almost nine years ago my son was murdered two weeks after Christmas. Christmas was the last time we had seen him. His birthday was December 22. That first Christmas season after I just wanted to take a trip somewhere and forget the holidays but my husband said we couldn't do that, we had to be there for the others. So, we did all the normal things but it was so sad and hard to do. Then, last year on December 20th my husband died after a long battle with cancer. Again, we went ahead with it but we put pictures of him and our son in a prominent spot and lit a candle for them. I always put an ornament on the tree with my son's picture on it and I have another one with an eagle on it that I hang for him because he loved eagles and collected them and I always take a small decorated tree and place on his grave. I'm actually looking forward to the holidays this year because the house feels so empty and all the family will come for the holidays. Mary

Beth, I am so sorry for the tragic death of your son. What you are going through is normal. I can't promise that you'll get over what you are experiencing but it will be easier to deal with at some point. The grief never goes away and you'll always have a hole in your heart but it will get buried deeper and become less intense. My youngest son was murdered almost nine years ago and not a day goes by that I don't think about him and miss him. I cry over the least little thing. Then, last December, my husband died after a long battle with cancer and that brought back all the old grief to the surface and I'm grieving for both of them. I feel like my life doesn't have a purpose any more. The days are endless and I don't know what to do with myself but I think eventually I will find a new meaning to life. Hang in there and just take it one day at a time and one day you will find you can smile again and the good memories of your son will begin to bring you peace. Mary