debr88

Hugs for you John.I know exactly how you feel.Try to remember the good times...and how you made Jack's life so much better just by being there with him. Take Care, Deb

Dear Deborah, I'm sorry you have to be on this site.But,I'm glad you found it.I hope we can give you some comfort here.My fiance,Steve died on October 21st after a 6 month battle with brain cancer.His death has been devastating...I've been walking around in a fog for two months,wondering how I'm going to live the rest of my life without him here.There has been times when life just didn't seem worth living...the pain can be too much to handle.I try to think of all the good times we had together.The laughter.Memories of Steve keep me going.People here have been great too.WaltC gave me links some good websites..one of them was www.centerforloss.com. I ordered a book from them,it's titled Healing Your Grieving Heart,by Alan Wolfelt.I found it very helpful.There's nothing people can say to make you feel better...a huge part of you life is gone.We just have to learn to help ourselves get through the pain.I hope this site helps you.Just remember we are all here to help each other through....if you every feel you need an ear,please post a message. Take Care, Deb

Dear Walt, It's been 2 months since I lost my love,Steve to cancer.I don't think the pain and emptiness will ever go away.I think we just have to find a way the live the rest of our lives with it. I can't believe two months has past already.It seems like life is flying by and I'm still trying to grasp on to the past,he's always in my thoughts, and everyday I get by living with my memories of Steve.One song that make me cry every time I hear it is "Everything I Own" by Bread...one of the verses is..."No one will ever know,the part of me that can't let go".I cried just typing that.I hope this post hasn't made you more depressed.That's not my intention.I hope you find some comfort in knowing that you're not alone in your pain and lonliness.We all care about you.Sometimes I'm hesitant about posting my feelings for fear of sounding crazy.But as Steve would say..."you gotta do what you gotta do" Take Care, Deb

Dear Ken, When I read your post,I felt like I was reading my own story...... I lost my fiance,Steve to cancer on Oct.21st....he left me with our beautiful 8 month old daughter Kylie.His funeral was on Wednesday.I also feel very lonely,I got a lot of phone numbers and people who said to call "if you need anything".But I'm not the type who can ask for help either.... besides, there is really nothing anyone can do to ease this agonizing pain.My mother lives next door and has been helping me with the baby....I don't know what I would do without her.I still feel like I'm in a fog,I find it difficult to function.Ken....I just want to let you know that we are here for you.When you have those days when it seems like you just can't go on....come here and send a post.We all here for the same reason...and hopefully we can help you through the pain. Deb

Dear Walt, Today has been extremely difficult for me....I came on here and read the poem you posted...I am feeling the same way....wondering if life is worth living without Steve.He is all I've been thinking about. I have a voice mail from him that I saved on my cell phone.I listen to it over and over...just so I can remember the sound of his voice.......him saying that he loves me....I am lost without my love.I don't want to bother friends and family with my feelings.I don't want to bring my sadness into their lives.So I come here because I know everyone here has experienced the same type of loss,pain,and agony that I am going through.I know Steve would not want me like this....I know he would want me to carry on for our 8 month old daughter.She is going to need to know what a good man her daddy was and how much he loved her.Walt,I think Jeannie would want you to carry on too....I think we were left behind for a reason.To keep our love ones alive with the love and memories we have of them,and to help others with their pain.Walt, you have been a tremendous help to me,from the websites to help me to your kinds words....I want to thank you Walt for being here..... Deb

Dear Walt and Charlie, Thank you so much for your responses,I clicked on free articles for mourners,and found some of the tips very helpful,I also ordered Alan Wolfelt's book.I would appreciate links to any other sites that you found helpful.Like you said Walt,I will take one breath,one hour and one day at a time in hopes that this emptiness,numbness and agony dulls with time.It's a relief to me to know that I'm not going crazy.. that you both had the same feelings of not being able to function, the numbness and disbelief.I wanted to ask also.....how long did it you to go through your loved ones clothes?I feel like throwing them out is like throwing out a memory of him.How long before you went back to their gravesite?My 8 year old son (his stepson) wants me to take him there.....but it's too painful for me right now.He died one week ago today.....it seems like yesterday. Deb

Hi my name is Deb....I'm new to this web site,I joined in hopes that it could help me through this horrible grief. My fiance,Steve lost his 6 month battle with brain cancer on Friday Oct.21st one week after his 51st birthday. His funeral was yesterday.I miss him so much....I can't take this agonizing pain.I'm not sure what to do with myself.I can't seem to function anymore.