hello, I lost my 16 yr old daughter Kelsey Nicole on Wed march 30, 2005. Only those who have lost a child can truly understand the depth of that loss. My life has been a whirlwind the last few yrs. I was divorced 4 yrs ago, met the love of my life and married him Jan 05, was so looking forward to moving on and being happy the rest of my life. The loss of my girl has just about been more than i can take. I am still happily married. But i miss kelsey so much, as does her older sister who just grad from H.S and started college in sept. They were two peas in a pod. 13 1/2 mths apart in age. I was on depression meds for a while and gained 25 lbs. went off them. And now there are days when things seem worse than b/4. It's everything ...everything around, that reminds me of Kelsey. And people are different it seems now. They don't know what to say, and the Question of " how are you doing" was quick to get old. How do you think i'm doing? I lost my child. And my friends are not there. People don't know what to do with grief. I miss her more all the time. not less. It doesn't get easier, it's getting harder, because you realize the loss of everything as time goes by. All i have is pictures. I don't think i will have the chance to be a grandmother. My oldest daughter has things she wants to do in life, and i don't see her having children. Kelsey loved kids, and i was always looking forward to her being the one to have babies. I feel cheated. Kelsey will never be older. I will grow old with age and only to look back and remeber my 16 yr old daughter. Why why why. I am a nurse. I was called to er that day, and she was already gone. I then had to call her dad and my husband and tell them all. I know its not healthy to think back, but the one time that kelsey needed me i wasn't there. I work full time and it's a struggle to get up and go to work. I get sick of helping others lately. Their troubles are nothing compared to the loss of a child. The one thing i want is not possible to get back. if only. How do you get past the grief and move on and find life and true happiness again. I always wanted more children, and now i have only one. And she is a wonderful young women i am so proud of. I tell her that all the time. But i feel cheated. need advice i cant find folks. I feel like i am just going day to day. Where is my niche now?
