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samantha

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About samantha

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  1. I found this site while trying to get help dealing with the death of my sister, my friend. I am 56, she would have been 54 next month. A monster called cancer killed her slowly and painfully. It will be 2 months next week and I miss her more every day. I don't have a memory of my childhood or adult life that does not include her. I cry more now than when she died. She was in so much pain the cancer had spread from breast to bone to lung to brain-- she lay in the hospital bed day after day having seizures until her brain died . I see her grasping for breath and it hurts so bad. She was the strongest person I have ever known. She fought for 10 years, thru it all she was so sure she was going to beat cancer. People tell me she is better off, she is not in pain, I know that, but I wanted the pain & cancer to go away and let her be whole and happy. I can't believe she won't be here for the holidays, Christmas without her is just unthinkable. I don't know what I want to accomplish by writting all this-- I want the pain to end or at least get easier. When she died I thanked God for ending her pain, that was all tha mattered at that time. Now the reality is here and I can't get past it. Thank you for reading this and please remember me in your prayers.
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