My wife, Nancy, had diabetes, as do I. I could not get her to get her blood work done, although she would go to the doctor every YEAR or so. Her feet swelled, and her toes were numb, but she just figured that "went with the territory". I had noticed that her memory was failing a small bit, and worried about Alzheimer's (we were both 63). Then on Saturday, May 10th, we were babysitting at our daughter Andrea's house (actually HER daughter, but we'd been married twenty years, and Andrea and I were as close as any father and daughter can be), and Nancy said she had a headache and an upset stomach, and laid down. When we got home, she took some Pepto-Bismol and went to bed. Sunday, she was no better, but no worse, but on Monday morning she was too weak to get out of bed, and asked me to call an ambulance. She got to the Emergency Room Monday morning; by that night she had no idea who I was, by Tuesday morning she had permanently closed her eyes and didn't know when anyone was in the room. By Wednesday morning, she was on a ventilator, and by Wednesday night she was in a coma. Thursday morning she was brain dead, and her heart stopped at 11:00 that same morning. It all happened so quick, my mind and heart couldn't keep up. Andrea, Nancy's son Stuart and I were with her constantly from Wednesday night until she died, rubbing her hands and feet, although she couldn't have known it. I wouldn't allow an autopsy; I felt they had done enough to her with their restraints and ventilator and catheter, and pumping blood into her when her heart couldn't pump it and her hands and arms swelled up so bad we had to put her wedding ring on a chain around her neck in her casket, and no matter what they found, it wouldn't bring my sweet Nancy back. I also didn't allow the funeral home to embalm her or have an open casket, but we bought some pretty clothes for her to wear. We got copies of all her medical records from all her doctors and the hospital, which I couldn't bring myself to look at, but Andrea is a paralegal specializing in Medical Malpractice, and reviewed everything, including the EKG strip, all the way until Nancy's heart stopped. She says Nancy's liver quit functioning, and the toxicity in her blood killed her. She was probably beyond help for a couple of YEARS before she died. It's been extremely rough since Nancy died. I cry at the drop of a hat (as a matter of fact, I'm crying now), and my chest hurts all the time from anxiety. I take Xanax for the anxiety, but the small heart attack I had in February worries me, too. I don't sleep well at all. I've remodeled the house because I'd be watching TV and find myself turning to say something to Nancy! Somehow I convinced myself that I was in love with Andrea! Nancy and I had both been seeing a psychiatrist for years, because we both were clinically depressed, and he told me the obsession with Andrea was both natural and very common and was my way of dealing with my grief. Although I finally stopped the "Andrea" obsession, because she and I are very close anyway I've become very dependent on her and very demanding. Now, Andrea refuses to allow me to have ANY contact with her until I get grief therapy. That hurts more than I can express, because she's not just my "Daughter", she's probably the best friend I've got! Nancy and I weren't very outgoing, so I don't have any friends here. My son cares, but he lives in Los Angeles. My first visit with the therapist is on October 11th. I'll keep everybody posted on how it goes. Pray for me.
