MississippiGirl

a little advice?? i lost my dad in april this year..... and it seems like me and my mom are avoiding...putting up the tree.....i really want to ...but i know its gonna be emotional..... a few years ago....our "fake tree" had gotten too old so we threw it away....and because we didnt have much money....my mom bought a little 3ft..tree that was prelite...with ornaments already on it! well...last year.... i had a job.....had my own money so i decided to go and buy a 6ft tree.... so we could have the "tradition" again......even though the day we put up the tree last year...my dad felt so ill he didnt want to get up long enough to put the angel on top like he always did......i think in a way...that was his way of telling me.....it was my job now!? but....i dont know how to make this easier for my mom?? should i do it one day while she's at work?? and suprise her.....or should i do it with her???? i know we both feel totally different then again the exact same grief.....she lost the love of her life....i lost the most important man in my life..(my daddy) I'm always torn when it comes to this...i dont know the right thing to say to her! when i brought up putting the tree up....we were both going into work....and she started crying and told me it wasnt the time or place to talk about it....i felt really bad....and also started crying.... i know my dad would want us to put the tree up....and celebrate christmas just like he was here!!! i can hear him now..."Don't sit around and cry" he was so strong!!!

I'm so glad, my words have encouraged you!!! it really makes me smile! I really hope and pray things are going good for you!!! and if you need to talk...anytime!!! please send me a message!!! i may not be good at giving advice!! but i can sit and cry with you! sometimes in the healing process...thats the best thing to do.....sit and talk about your loved one you lost....and just cry!! or laugh....either way...its keeping those memories fresh!!!

Hello..i am sorry to hear of your loss!! i do understand ...i recently lost 2 of my dogs after my dad passed...in april.....Peewee was mine and my dad's sidekick....he was 17yrs old.. he was such a good dog!!! he was so old he lost his hearing....he could barely see.....he had knots that came up on him...but he wasnt in pain...he still ran and did things he loved to do...and loved on me!!! then there was gizmo...he was one of the puppies we had out of the litter of puppies from our moma chihuaha....he was the funny one...he always had his tongue hanging out....and ran in circles for no reason! lol oh i miss them two so much....but...i like to think they are with my daddy in heaven now!! and no longer in pain!!!!

Im sorry to hear about your loss!!! that was very sweet of your daughter...but i know its hard to see things like that....sometimes you just want to pretend like it never happend...and seeing things like that or talking about it....brings it all to surface....and its soo hard!!!! i read what u said about the Melatolin?? my mom has been taking that for a very long time to help her sleep...b/c someone told her it was alot better for her than taking sleeping meds like tylenol PM......i had no idea it would help for anxiety problems!!!???

Hello! i hope your day was as nice as mine has been (so far) yes thank god my mom is still alive... my dad was only 51 when he passed...my mom is 48 she'll be 49 in december... i have been inseperable with her since his passing... we were like the three muskiteers anyways!! it was just us 3 living here at the house....i didnt want to "branch out" because of his health situation i wanted to be here to help!! so now its just me and my mom.... my dad had 3 boys from his 1st marriage which ended very ugly b/c his ex wife was a alcoholic....and back when they got a divorce ...was in the days where the mother would ALWAYS get full custody and the father just got weekend visits....and my "half" brothers mom would never let my dad come get the boys....so by the time they got old enough to make their own decision....she had it in their heads that he didnt want anything to do with them!! so i basically grew up as a only child... same now! enough about me! i know this weekend will be a tough one! i can't lie and say it was easy for me on my birthday...all i wanted to hear was "happy birthday fred" (my dad's nickname for me) but i know with all my heart he was with me that day!!! you have to remind yourself that!! its a rough road ahead of us...but i believe our loved ones would want us to be strong and live out our lives!! and make them proud!!!

thank you so much for welcoming me!!! i am so sorry to hear about your parents...i know all to well ...that doesnt make it any easier...saying "im sorry" and its so hard to talk to people who are not in the same situation as you....no one can understand our grief unless they have been in our situation...some say that sounds selfish....but i believe its true....i always felt pain for those who lost loved ones...but that pain was nothing like the pain i felt the day i lost my dad...*april 7,2008* it wasnt totally unexpected....he had a heart transplant in 1996....and had health issues from then on out.....he had to start doing kidney dialysis in 2004....which really brought him down.... and he made it through so many near death experiences...when the dr's told us there was no hope...he actually pulled through!! he was a walking miracle...and i was so sso sooo sure this time he would pull through ..... but i guess he was tired of fighting....tired of being sick!! and i respect that...it is a sort of relief to know he isnt in pain anymore and i dont have to see him suffering....but ..i miss him dearly!!! i even miss him getting onto me (i still live with my parents) i've made it through a few firsts so far.....my first fathers day without him....my first birthday with out him.(august 25th) ...his birthday (sept. 15th).... I pray god gives us all the strength to make it through these hard times!!! and learn to live with our grief...because i know its not something we can get over!

Hello! I too have Anxiety attacks!! they started a month after my dad passed away..in april 08..... i feel dizzy...like i may pass out....i fear that im dying...or something may really be wrong with my health...my heart flutters...and beats very fast...i even sometimes feel like "im in a dream" (if that makes any sense) sometimes its hard to breathe! i was prescribed Xanax....does anyone else have these problems?? or has anyone taken Xanax?? i am prescribed to take 1.0mg 3times a day.....(i do not) i take 0.25...once a day... i dont want to become addicted...

I honestly dont know where to start.... I lost my dad....i feel like my life will never be the same!! i know it wont be ..... i really think talking to others who are going through the same thing will help me out....hopefully!