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Devi

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Everything posted by Devi

  1. Hi Dusky, What a beautiful poem!!! I really relate to Being what it was I shared with my Beloved.. Finding all of the things I loved about Him in me. I am His living legacy. For me it has been 6 months, as well, since my fiance passed on. Every day I light candles for Him and honor His memory, past and present. It is still the beginning for me and yet so much has transformed... Well thank you for your inspireing words! Your creativity is surely a blessing for you. Love is Real and Eternal ~ Devi
  2. Hi to Everyone, I have a very strong spiritual path that I shared with my departed fiance. Since His passing so many doubts have arisen...so, so many! Yet, throughout these past months, no matter how I am feeling, I am CERTAIN that our loved shared is eternal. I will grow and my personality developes, my body age's and change and death happens. There are still some things I question that nobody can answer but must just be accepted through my heart. What will NEVER change and what will remain with me throughout this life, after I leave this body...this life, is the the true love I shared with my Beloved partner. Of this I am TRULY certain! For all of you who's Hearts have been touched by a true love I sincerely hope that you NEVER doubt that. It is the foundation from which will give you strenght to accept the many changes ahead. The Heart always remembers even when the mind doubts. May we all trust and listen to our Hearts...it is the least we can do for ourselves. The rewards are endless and eternal! Blessings ~ Devi
  3. Hi John, First I must say that I can only tell you what I have experienced myself and hope my experience may help reflect the answers you seek. For me acceptance comes in the form of the deep trust I have in God's will and God's love. Since my fiancee was a spiritual teacher I have always seen Him as the manifestation of God's love and grace. So, since the beginning of my relationship with Him I learned to trust and gratefully accepted God's will because it led me to the most wonderful man. Acceptance for me came with the knowing that the same God that brought me to the love of my life is still lovingly guiding my life and only wishes the best for me. Even though things are VERY difficult right now and often still shocking...I trust in my life's path. This trust and acceptance does not change the daily pain or feelings of absolute frailty but it makes them OK. My path these past years has been about surrender of my own will so I had a good foundation when my fiancee passed on. No matter how much suffering I am going through I feel deeply gratefull for that foundation and for the chance to have shared divine love. I guess the way I recognize Acceptance is in a deep feeling of OK-ness without judgement about what has happened. This OK-ness does not negate or ignore the suffering but simply accepts the actions that have happened. This feels like the foundation of acceptance where from healing truly begins. The way of life and death is so beyond the mind that I truly feel we must accept the past fate of our beloved partners with our whole beings. It is not something I can command my mind to do but something that the heart must embrace. May we all find the peace our human suffering seeks...~Devi
  4. Hi John, Your analogy is so very true!! I am praying that when I get through this I will be a better person. In many ways I already feel like a much stronger person because since my beloved fiance's passing I have had to really put my beliefs into action. This is something I must do every day in order to truly honor what I know as God and also the love I shared with my Beloved. Latley, just today I was talking about this, I realize the people I know do not want to talk about my loss and deep pain. They would like things to be "normal" and for me to move on. Because I am usually a very clear, optomistic person people think that I am OK. And because I am also very sensitive it is difficult for me to bring my suffering up in conversation when I can feel people's resistence to the topic. It is as you say, on the outside I look normal and functioning but on the inside everything needs rewiring, reconnecting...deep healing. I realize I must respect people's space and unconcious wish to avoid my suffering. It also makes me feel more alone. This also must be accepted without fear of the aloneness...Oh what a journey we are on!!! May peace penetrate our minds and fill our hearts. I beleive that will come through acceptance and trust in our life's path. ~ Devi
  5. My beloved fiance passed away, very shockingly, in July of this year. Since his family live overseas I had to take care of all the arrangements regarding his cremation and also take care of clearing out his house organizing and storing everything. It has been shocking, draining and emotionally painful.. He was a wonderful, loving human being and new many people from around the world who honored and respected him greatly. Since his passing I have lost my sense of time ~ Literally!! My concept of time is so off it takes me about a month to return a phone call... I am not exaggerating. I have his ashes which will eventually be brought to a sacred temple overseas. I am wondering if it is unusual and OK to have a memorial service manybe 6-8 months after His departure. I just can not face having to talk with so many people and deal with the preparations for such an event. Because we were so close, for me it still feels like yesterday that He left. But I know for others it is probably different. Is it OK to postpone his services for so long? Devi
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