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kath

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  • Posts

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About kath

  • Birthday 05/21/1959

Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    5/30/07
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Minnesota
  • Interests
    I am the mother of two fantastic children, an adult stepdaughter and an insane collie puppy. I love church, family, art, nature and sewing. I pray for eagles (my sign for Bob.)

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  1. kath

    Gizmo Girl

    Thanks, Marty.
  2. kath

    Gizmo Girl

    Thank you, Kay. I can't stop crying.
  3. kath

    Gizmo Girl

    Gizmo was my 15 year old English springer spaniel. Her tail was always on the move, so much that this year I was going to sew her a hummingbird feeder costume for Halloween with a bit of ribbon attached to her tail so it looked like she was fluttering around the feeder. She came into our lives only four years ago and immediately won the hearts of my children and I. Her spirit was gentle and oh so sweet. Some called her a healer. I put her to rest yesterday after she could no longer walk without falling. For the last week, I was carrying her up and down stairs. She looked so lost, sad and confused. This little girl gave it all she had. When she ran too much and her leg gave out, she would run on three legs. After spending a day at the office with me, she would race me up the stairs so she could greet me at the top. Every person she met was her new best friend. She smiled often and her tail never, ever stopped. The pain is immense. My children are at college grieving. In ten years, we buried my beloved husband and three incredible dogs. You'd think we'd be oblivious to grief, yet each time feels like my heart will never recover. Goodbye, Gizmo. We will be forever grateful for your love and devotion.
  4. Where did you go on your honeymoon? Maybe we need to plan dual vacations, amongst friends. You tell me your story, I'll tell you mine!
  5. I can feel your love and your pain in this. Thank you for sharing, MFH.
  6. Dear Kay, Congratulations to your son and to you for recognizing the true gift he has been given. I pray you made it through your day okay and that George is with your heart when you miss him most. Take good care. I love you. Kath
  7. We were going to go back to Colorado where we spent our honeymoon. Staying in the cabin with the cozy fireplace, walking the streets of Estes Park, peeking in the shop windows and marveling at the elk that come into the town. I still see our reflection, his arm around my waist, the smiles on our faces, it couldn't have been more perfect. Now, today, the day we looked forward to celebrating, I sit, wondering what to do with the box I kept with napkins and ashtrays, the toasting goblets, the feather pen, the memories. I'm not as teary-eyed as I had anticipated, just silent. Everything inside feels still - like the air before a summer thunderstorm. Quite a contrast to what we had planned. It's days like this, I absolutely hate the quiet.
  8. Thank you, Mary. I just noticed this week that it was picked up by another grief support newsletter out of Wisconsin. When I first read it in print, I was sort of dreading it, because it was so personal. Now, I see even on this site, it has become something bigger and I'm thrilled. I've read the posts of things others have learned and they are so encouraging and incredible. It takes a great deal of strength to walk through this, even together, and I can't give enough credit to those who continue to do so. You and everyone here have become my heroes. There's no other word for it. I cheer for you and I thank you immensely for your encouragement. Take good care, Kath
  9. Thanks, Marty. Mike was really flirting with the camera lady that day! It was definitely a happier time for all of us.
  10. The Grief Digest magazine came Saturday with this in it. My first printed article! Wow - just in time for the 4th angelversary. How time flies.
  11. kath

    Feeling Giddy

    Hi Gail, Just when I didn't think anything would happen, a spark ignited. We've been emailing and just started to talk and think about meeting. Poor guy, there are 11 guys at the office that strut around like big brothers trying to protect me. I laughed and said we should meet on the patio at work so they can intervene if needed. I was worried about how my children would react. They're both teenagers, now. They are afraid that because he contacted me on-line, he might be a mass murderer. Very wise, my kids. They are reminding me to take precautions. Valid point. Kath
  12. Melina, I just read "Heaven is for Real." It is the true story of a 3-year old's near death experience. There were many surprises in the book. The biggest surprise to me was that a non-believer insisted I read it. I couldn't put it down. Kath
  13. kath

    A Big Step

    Thank you, Marty, for a well-timed post. I recently took my rings off, just shy of 4 years without Bob. I felt really guilty about it, but I have lost so much jewelry that he has given me and these I didn't want to lose. My cousin gave me a ring that belonged to my grandma. It had a little blue stone that fell out. My engagement ring had a very tiny diamond (because I was there to help pick it out and I am much too practical, you know!)The diamond fell out years ago when I was at ECFE with the kids. Bob had always wanted to get me a larger diamond and he replaced it shortly after. I'm thinking I should put the original diamond in grandma's ring. They are two special people and they got along really well together then, so... I'm rambling a bit here, but the mark still remains on my hand where I wore the rings for 25 years. Just this week I have been conversing with a gentlemen and am looking forward to meeting him in person. I have given up planning my timeline for moving forward. It seems to happen when the moment is right. It's a bit nerve-racking, but my heart and my head seem to be in agreement. Surviving Bob's death has taught me so much about trusting my instincts. It almost feels like Bob's still here, prodding me to keep on moving. I think he'd approve. Kath
  14. THE FOURTH YEAR (of missing Bob) This day brings back The frightful way You died when you Were supposed to stay. The storms passed. The weeds grew. The years end. I saw it through. The repairs came. The silence went. The tides changed. I sought to vent. The clock ticks. The hours fly. The love we had Surpasses time. Your memory burns A forever hole. My daily prayer Renews my soul. Four years ago We held to hope. Now still alone I know I’ll cope. The kids stretched Beyond my height. The dog died. I saw new light. Laughter spills Though tears remain. The life that’s left Must start again. The eagle soars. It’s you I know, Watching, guarding, Letting go. Trumpets play. The loons call. Our offspring has Amazed us all. Doctors’ tests Relieve my fears. The job demands. The pressure wears. I’m reaching out Past comfort zones. To share the love You once had sown. My heart won’t let Your memory fade. You’re the part in me Where joy is played. May 30th, 2011
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