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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Lisab

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  • Posts

    3
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About Lisab

  • Birthday 11/18/1963

Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    January 21, 2002
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    n/a

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://www.lisa_itsallaboutme.blogspot.com
  • ICQ
    0

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    MA
  • Interests
    Tennis, golf, reading, old homes, kids, teaching
  1. This is one of my favorite singer/song writers. She is no stranger to death and grief as this song was written about the loss of her own husband. She sang this at his funeral. I have many of her albums and she is just wonderful! I have this in my collection of 'grief' albums... songs that helped me to express my sadness when there were no words. Lisab
  2. Hi Laurie, I'm sorry for your loss. I remember all to well how hard all the 'firsts' without my husband were. I've been on this grief path for 8 yrs now. When my husband died (Jan 21, 2002) I was 38 and had 3 children aged 10, 8 and 6 yrs old. All 3 very much into Santa and all that went with it. I can honestly tell you that I had no desire what so ever to celebrate anything. I am whammied beginning Oct. Each year with all the birthdays and holidays that he played such a huge part in. Halloween.. trick or treating with the kids as a family, both our birthdays in Nov and Thanksgiving, Christmas, new years and then his anniversary. That first christmas I kept it rather low key. Yes, we put up a tree but instead of ornaments (my husband collected antique ornaments and I didn't have the stamina to put them out) we decorated the tree with photos of the kids, family etc.. the kids made paper chains and popcorn balls and we hung those as well. Santa did come... it was a night with a bottle of wine and the wrapping paper and a box of kleenex while I put the presents out.... The kids were up early and happy with their gifts... but then my daughter asked why Santa forgot to bring me a gift and why was my stocking empty. That was one lesson I learned...buy myself a gift for under the tree and fill my stocking..not fun and merry but necessary. Now my kids each buy me a gift! We spent the morning with the inlaws and then went to my sister's for dinner and the day. I can tell you though that the days preceeding any holidays are always harder than the actual day. We spend time anticipating the sadness of it and when it arrives, we've spent the sad energies already. Yes, there are some tears and sadness but for me they were not overwhelming. In later years, I started our own new traditions. We now have a glass pickle that the kids seek hidden in the tree and that person gets to hand out gifts. We also choose 3 families and leave a holiday basket on their steps... usually its someone in town we know who needs a little help or cheer during the season. We give back as much as we can to so many who held our hands during our grief. I found a small ceremony that we perform now at the table called the Candle Wreath ceremony. I'll post it another time for anyone interested. Its a way to bring your loved one into the celebration of the day in a very meaningful way. I send my heartfelt hugs to you as you find your way along this path of grief. Lisa
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