~Fi~

My husband Carl died on November 16 as well - he had turned 49 the week before and we had been together for nearly 14 years. When I read your post it was like reading about myself! I know what you are going through - or very close. I have good days but many more days when I don't think I can go on without him. He was my best friend and I know no one else "gets me" like he did. Life right now seems like just a matter of going through the motions. I'll zone out and wonder what I'm doing but I tell myself "just put one foot in front of the other" and I manage to keep going. I hope you find some comfort in this site - I know I do. I'll be thinking of you over the holidays. Fi Carl's Memorial Website

I've been reading these forums for a while but your letter struck me as particularly sad. To find your love and only have 7 months with him is so tragic. When you meet your soul mate you know right away. After more than 10 years of friendship, the first time Carl kissed me I knew that it was him I'd been waiting for. We were lucky that we had almost 14 years together after that but even if we had only 7 months (or even 7 days) losing him would still have taken a part of my heart and soul. I'm so sorry your family don't understand. There is nothing worse than being told that what you are feeling doesn't make sense - they are your feelings, no one know better than you that they are real. I hope you have an understanding friend to spend time with over the holidays. My heart aches for you, I wish I had some wise words that would make dealing with this easier. Please know that I'll be thinking of you as we both deal with a difficult holiday. Fi Carl's Memorial Website