aaronkatie1

Mary Linda and Lee Ann, Thank you both so much for your sweet replies. I had not bookmarked this site so I had a hard time finding it. Am so glad I did and to see the replies to my post are so heart warming. I did actually clear out the apartment all by myself - but I had a charity pick up the big items, I felt very lucky that they would take them all and that they would do it so quickly. I very much like the idea about the high school kids needing their credits, my daughter is in 8th grade and needs Community Service credits and I was thinking about this kind of thing for her. My brother really is not mad at me, that is what is so odd. He just has an odd or 'warped' view of our childhood. He says that we were never close so why would we be close now. This is not true though, we were extremely close, we really were all that each other had. I idolized him. He loved my Dad but could not have a relationship with him. But he wanted me to have one so that he could know how he was and such. So over the last few years when I had no relationship with my Dad, I felt like my brother had very little use for me (he couldn't get any information about my Dad). When I got the phone call about my Dad being in the hospital, I called my brother, said I was going to go see him, he said that I was a good person to do that. When I told him that he was dying he told me to tell Dad that he loved him. I almost did not do that, I did not want to bring him up but my dad mentioned my brother so I told him that my brother loved him. My Dad then said that my brother had called him and told him that. (he had not called him). My brother said that he would have been a hypocrite if he called him, this made no sense to me. I truly think one day he will regret it, I just hope it does not eat him up. Thank you again, it is so nice to have a place to come to where people do understand.

I just found this site and wish I'd thought about trying to find it when my Dad was sick. My Dad died 8/31/08, still hard to believe. Worst part is that we had not spoken in 3 years, as he was an abusive man I did spend his last few days with him and am very glad I did. Since my Mom died when I was 12, he really was the only parent I ever knew (good or bad). I'm 45 now with a 13 and 15 year old of my own. My brother lives across the country and hadn't talked to my Dad in 13 years, would not call him nor come in to help me with his Estate, or clearing his apartment which has been a nightmare. First, I am ill, my children and I have Chronic Lyme Disease and are very ill, so energy is hard to come by, second I suppose since he was not the nicest man, I had no help at all. So, now going through all of his stuff, and having good memories, etc, I am missing him and my Mom and thinking I have no relationship with my brother. And nobody seems to understand or maybe care. Wow, what a first post If you've read down this far, thanks for listening to me ramble on.

I think that every little step, every month helps the grieving process. Do whatever you have to to help yourself get through it. My Dad just died 8/31/08 but my Mom died in 1975 when I was 12, on 10/8 and that day always seems like it will be terrible - but like someone else said - its always the day before (today) or if someone mentions that date that gets me. Please give yourself a break, there is no rule book for grief, and I bet you will have more dreams about your Mom, I sure did. Big Hugs.

Pman, I hope you are doing somewhat better. I just found this forum today - and I just read your post - I was thinking - did I write that? Basically going through the same thing, wish I'd found this place sooner. I hope you took these wonderful people's suggestions - I could have used this help a few weeks ago and can tell that I'll find alot of help in the future. Please, take care of you!! Big Hugs.