It's been just over a month since I lost mom2 and I'm still not dealing with it very well. You would think of all people my family would understand this. No such luck. Just the other day I was talking to my one sister, the oldest, and she was telling me that I should be fine now and not let it bother me. After all it's been a month. And then she said the one thing I was afraid she would. Well she was only after all our stepmom. It felt like she slapped me in the face. Only our stepmom! She was more then that to me. She was my mom. And just because she is over it she thinks everyone else should be. I mean am I wrong for still being all messed up? Am I over reacting? If I am then I am sorry but I have lost two mothers. And on top of that about a month before she died I had just been made to realize I hadn't delt with mom1's death or my brothers and so on so I had just started to deal with mom1's when mom2 died. So here I am haveing everything every feeling doubled. The ache, the pain, the grief and what ever other feelings are there. I can't even begin to know what they are. Growing up in my family we had 3 emotions ....anger, happiness, sadness. I honestly do not know what the others are. I have had some feelings I can't give a name to. To hear other people name off things they are feeling I sit here and go what's that, or what's that feel like. It's all new to me. I feel so mixed up. And it's a very scary thing to experience feelings and not know what they are. I feel like a complete idiot when I have to say I don't know what feelings are. I'm sorry for going on like this. I just feel so alone and isolated like I'm the only one who still cares for her. Thanks for listening guys.