Thank you, Bebekat. I just finished reading your New Years eve post. We also had a New Years routine for years - my husband was a musician and always played music on New Year's eve. I would go up to the bandstand at midnight and we would hug and welcome the new year with a kiss. Now, like you and everyone who replied to you post, I too sit alone, cry, and talk to him. I had my favorite picture of him enlarged to 16x20. It hangs in the den where I spend most of my time, and in that way I can talk to him, smile, and dance with him, and everything that if people could see me would call me crazy. (I don't care). Yes, I can identify with your feelings about the healthcare industry. We work together, and I share most of them with you. Stupidly I believed everything the doctors said to us. Why couldn't they just be honest and human instead of reciting their litanies. Please stay in school and finish your classes. We need to be able to trust those who will take care of us when we are so vunerable and dependent on doctors and nurses. If you take a minute to really look at the interaction between patient and staff, you could see that most patients know and recognize the ones who really do care. It has to be difficult to remain a nurse for any length of time and not become emotionally drained. Maybe that is why a lot of healthcare personnel seem so indifferent. Too bad because we are all brothers and sisters and deserve to be treated with kindness, caring, and dignity. I will ALWAYS remember the nurse who took care of Bobby on one of his hospital stays who truly cared about HIM as a person and not as "the colon cancer in room 6T30". She was our angel who made the days less fearful and sad. Please take heart that we all are struggling together and you are not alone. This website is a great place to put out your thoughts and then see that others are having the same feelings. God bless, Patricia