Tinkerbell

Dear people,thank you for undrestanding, and thank you for being here... These days I fealt a little bit better, stoped crying every night.I have much to study, so I forget myself from time to time... In two days it will be 3 months since he is gone, the emptiness is still here,today I gaved my friend who has a dog, Bili's shampoo, that made me very sad... I miss him so much, and I have so much love that was always for him, and now there is no one to give it to, so my heart feals so empty and so heavy at the same time... I was thinking, maybe he will come to me in some other form, meybe he is reincarnated... maybe he is a beautiful butterfly, or a dolphin, or a boy... I hope we will meet some day, if not here then somewere else, hope to see him on a Rainbow Bridge...

Thank you Maylissa and Debora, this words mean very much to me as I don't have anyone to talk to,anyone who could understand me. Today is exactly two months sice Bili is no longer with me... I dreamed him last night, it was a strange dream, as if he camed to say that he is ok. It was so real. I knew he is dead and his soul came to be with me, he came to spend a day with me,to show me he is not rally gone... Somehow it is easyer now, I still cry a lot, can't stop tears, but in my heart i fell some kind of peace. I hope he will come to me some night again...

My best friend for 14 years is gone...my littl dog Bili is no longer here, i still hear him walking around, and feeling so sad when i realize he is not here... I miss him badly, dont know how to deal with all this pain. It's been nearly two months since his death... He was old his heart was weak for and at the end his kidneys stoped working, last 3 days he couldn't eat or drink water,we couldnt sleep, he was thursty and he was asking me water and I couldn't give him any, couse he was throwing up, and veterinarian told me to give him half spoon of water every two hours.Did he know that I wanted to help him and that I wasn't punishing him with no giving water? He was dying of thurst and hunger,he was receiving infusion for three days but he was so bad(his kidneys didn't work and that couldn't change)so I had to put him asleep. When I close my eyes I always see that big needle with green liquid, he was in my lap, and I felt him go... where is he now, is he scared and alone, is someone taking care of him? I want him back! I'm thinking if maybe I didn't put him asleep maybe a miracle could hapen, maybe he could get better, and I didn't give him a chance... I miss him so badly! I can't talk with my family about him, they don't mention him becouse everybody get's sad... My pain is not leaving and I cry almost every night... I want him back! I wish he comes to my dreams to play with me and sleep on my pillow...