Suze

WaltC, Thank you for your very kind words of encouragement. I had not seen the Footprints clip. Thank you so very much for sharing it. We too, had it on the program at Bud's services. We also had a powerpoint movie of his life that was based on "his footprints" It was very upbeat as he would have wanted. We showed him laughing and having fun. We tried to truly celebrate his life. When we had the headstone made we had footprints on the side and the short quote from the poem on the bottom. Over the years we had collectets several hangings, and other items with this poem on it. Bud really loved it.I even have one in my office at the middle school I work at. This Friday will be 3 months, and it seems like years. Thanks for your support. Suze

My heart goes out to both of you in your loss. I am new to the group. I needed to have some folks to share my thoughts with. I Lost my Bud (or Lionel) very suddenly one evening. I was fortunate that I didn't have to watch him suffer for a long period of time. However, I never got the chance to say goddbye as I was screaming for him to hang on and not to leave me. We did have 29 wonderful years. He was my very best friend ever. Now I long for that special closeness we shared. He was a wonderful, gentle caring man. Now I am trying to deal with all the day to day stuff he handled and I am not very good at some of it. His goal was to keep our daughter in good spirits and up to pass the BAR. Well, he died a week before she found out she passed. So, now I am trying to keep her spirits up as she tries to find a job. It is vey hard to be upbeat at this time. Bud would have known exactly how to encourage her. I wish you both the best. Both Jean and Gene sound like wonderful people. Suze

Frank, I know what you are feeling. I was married to Bud for 29, almost 30 years. He was several years older than me and I always worried about him. However, hewas not ill. He was in fact feeling pretty good as our daughter had just finished law school and we had successfully refinanced our house, afer the law school bills, etc. Anyway I woke him up in his chair where he was watching TV. He went into bed as usual, kiseed me good ight and we both fell asleep. He got up about midnight and I asked him if he was okay, he said yes, it was hot in the house. I didn't worry as it is often warm for me. He went and got a cup of coffee and a cigarette, a normal routine for him as he would often get up and have a smoke and come back to bed. This time I heard him call out and he said he couldn't catch his breath. I asked if I should call 911 and he said yes. While I was on the phone I was yelling for him to breath and said I love you. His eyes said everything in that instant. Right after that I lost him. This was in the space of an hour by the time I went to the hospital. Now my daughter is falling apart and I am trying to keep things going. My heart goes out to you!! Suze

I am new here, but have read some of the messages. I am living one day at a time. Some of the little things now seem like major tasks. I go through phases, as well. For instance there are times when I can barely stand to be in some rooms in the house. They are not necessarily ones that Bud used the most. I also cannot write any thank you notes, and it has been three and a half months. I also know I want to be able to have friends, but much of the things that That old friends do does not appeal to me. Sometimes I make myself just keep busy. Suze