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artmademoiselle

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  1. Thanks so much, MartyT. I will surely check those sights out. I truly appreciate the support!!!
  2. From the bottom of my heart, I thank the two of you for your kind words and helpful advice. Shell, I have gone on those websites and feel like I could practically be the poster child for them. I am going to the doctor next week to see if I can go on an anxiety medication that isn't addictive. I have never had anxiety before, so I am guessing it is not a permanent condition, and therefore, I may not need something that I will need to be on forever. My mom also suffered from depression and anxiety and I know how difficult it was for her to go off anxiety medication. I am just so damn fed up with the nervousness I always have. It's starting to give me aches in my chest, apart from the perpetual upset stomach/nausea. I must say that I admire that you conquered anxiety on your own at such a young age. I have no idea how you managed it, which makes me respect you even more. Jen (that is the guest name that shows up), I feel awful that you are feeling so very lonely. Grief is such a lonely experience to begin with and I cannot imagine how you survive without loved ones to help you through. If you ever need to chat, you know where to find me!!! Like you, I never had panic attacks until I suffered this horrific loss. They are the absolute worst!!! Ever since going on the anti-depressant three weeks ago, I have not had anymore panic attacks, but I do suffer from constant anxiety/nervousness. I know anxiety is a side effect of Wellbutrin, so it may not be a good choice for me. I'll see what the doctor says when I go back next week. My God be with the two of you.
  3. Hello, everyone. My name is Lauren and I am new to the discussion boards. Before I go into the question at hand, I would like to give a hopefully brief synopsis about my situation. I am 24 years old and lost my precious mother to her second form of cancer over 3 years ago. She was 47 years old. My mother had Hodgkin's Disease when she was about 27 years old, and the scar tissue that formed from the radiation she had nearly 20 years earlier, developed into small-cell lung cancer. A cigarette never touched her lips in the 47 years she was alive. Yes, the first year after her death was virtually unbearable. As year two rolled into year three, I truly felt as if I had accepted my life without her and was beginning to heal my shattered heart. September of 2005 found me on a plane to London to participate in a three-month study abroad program. Little did I know that this AMAZING experience would also be a time of great pain. First, my mother died on September 10th, 2002, so it was the first anniversary that I was unable to visit her at her gravesite. It is always beyond belief to see her name and photograph on a headstone, but it gives me comfort to have a cry and know that she is by my side. And, here I was thousands of miles away without my family and friends to support me. I am an art history major, so going to Europe and seeing the art I have so lovingly studied, is one of my greatest dreams come true. It was also a taste of the first great life experience that my mother could not be a part of. I expected that one day my graduation, wedding and the birth of my children would be a time of sadness, but not this experience. To make matters worse, my dad had to sell the only house I have ever known while I was away. I now see just how much of a comfort it was to know that even though my mom was physically gone, she was everywhere. When I was sad, I could always go bury my head in a pair of her pajamas and feel better just knowing it was hers. Needless to say, life at our new condo has been quite rough. Three years later, I think I have finally come to the realization that my mom is really gone. While in London, and ever since I returned, I have been suffering from overwhelming anxiety. I have it all the time and it is slowly chipping away at me. I can somewhat deal with the mind games that anxiety plays on me, but I cannpt handle the incredible nausea/upset stomachs it gives me. I am fed up!!! I am not sure if it is just anxiety or it's anxiety brought on by depression. I have gone on an anti-depressant, but it is not really helping much at all. Does anyone else suffer from this comsuming anxiety??? Thank you for reading my long post!!!
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