summerbelle

I'm just trying to take it day by day. My parents want me to move back home, but I've been on my own for 10 years now. I know they mean well, but my mom gets in my business, who am I talking to, who am I texting, etc. She's been riding me to get the thank you cards out. I will do it, but it will take some time. I keep transporting everything back and forth. I am just not ready to read all the cards, etc...Vince's work was kind enough to set up a Memorial Fund in his memory for me. His salary is what paid our mortgage. They are paying his salary out thru the rest of the year and I believe allowing other employees to donate their extra PTO time for some additional money for me. The other brother is coming in from across the country the weekend before Thanksgiving. He told me to get a list together of things for him to do. The outpouring of support from all of our friends and family has been wonderful. I have a cousin who lost her husband to a heart attack in June. He was about 10 years older than Vince. they have 2 year old twins. She told me to call her any time. I havent yet, but I am sure there will be phone calls in the future. I've always been so independent and it's really hard for me to ask for support and help. I have a 2 year old niece who is asking questions. My sister and her live with my parents as well so she keeps me going. I have Vince's wedding band on a necklace I wear all the time. She gives it hugs and kisses. She insists that 'Uncle Ince' cant hear her in heaven and we keep telling her he can so she says goo night to him every night and tells him she loves him. My sister calls her my mini-me. We have the same stubborn/independent personality! Vince loved her so so much. He had her tell me over the summer that he would make a good daddy. so we were working on that but didnt happen. Thanks for the replies. Tara

My 31 year old husband passed away Oct 22 of an acute heart attack. I woke in the middle of the night to what i thought was him snoring, he was gurgling and not responsive. I called 911 and had to give him mouth to mouth. They said at the hospital that he never had a heart beat even at the house. the ME said he had significant heart disease and that his arteries were that of a 60-70 year old. We were together for 8 years, married for 4. It is all just sinking in now. The past 3 days have been miserable. Crying and just so depressed. Compounding issues, i've been sick for a week now. Just got put on antibiotics. My parents and sister live about 230 miles away. I've been going back and forth. I'm currently at my house with my 2 dogs. I cant believe how much I have to do. I wish there was a central place I could notify and they could take care of notifying everyone that needs to be notified. It is so time consuming and confusing. I feel like I keep getting the run around. Things that should be simple, like removing his name from the car title so I can sell it is taking so much time. Because there's still a loan I have to get an official letter from the lien holder before I can go to the DMV. I never imagined I'd be doing all this at 29 years old. I get upset when people try to tell me they know exactly how I feel. This one woman, a family friend, implied that, and while yes, she lost her husband, he had pancreatic cancer so they had time to plan and determine what his wants were. I had to make the decisions on burial, etc. This was not something we ever discussed. 2 of his brothers live close by and are trying to help out with as much as they can. it's the little things now, like the light bulb at the top of the stairs that's out. i'm a clutz and dont like to get on a ladder...this was his job. carrying the laundry baskets to the basement, taking the trash out. i'm just really sad and depressed right now. I'm planning on going back to work after Thanksgiving. it will be hard, but i think getting in a routine again will be good. my work has been very understanding. i know when i have my moments or days they will understand. i just miss him so much.