I've read some of your earlier posts. What a time you've been through! Me too...Our family celebrated Thanksgiving less than three weeks after my mom passed. Although no one broke down that day, it feels like that's all I can do since. Here's my story: I lost my mom after a 2-month decline with lung cancer. Up until that time, she was living alone, completely independent, and otherwise healthy. She didn't even have real symptoms until mid-August. After a round of chemo in September and a week in the hospital repairing a perforated ulcer (side effect of the chemo), she decided to stop all treatment and let nature take its course. Nature did, and we had just three more weeks with her. My sister and I took care of her at in-home hospice, where she died surrounded by her family, Pastor, and a lifelong friend. I am still heartbroken and haunted by the images of watching her die, and I know it it something I can never forget. I very much want to gather up my memories of her 79 years alive, but her death is all I can think of. I'm also the executor of her estate, so we have a whole house to deal with, plus a new car she just leased in August. With Christmas coming in three weeks, I feel like I have no idea what I should be doing right now. I end up in tears so often over things like a Christmas recipe book being forwarded to my house - one that she ordered back in the summer. I know my mom wouldn't want me to go on and on like this. Thanksgiving was OK because we had two celebrations, one for each side of the family, and it was a very busy day. But Christmas is dogging me, especially now that my phone is pretty quiet and very few cards are trickling in. I work at home and spend a lot of time by myself. I feel myself pulling away from my husband (going "under the proch" as I like to call it). I hear all this talk of the economy and the new president and it's all I can do to get up in the morning, say a prayer to get through the day, and survive. This isn't my first bout with grief. I lost a 20-year-old brother when I was 21, so I feel like knowing how this goes should help, but it doesn't. With him, it was sudden; with my mom, just fast. I didn't know cancer could go so fast, and I just have a hard time dealing with going from no symptoms to death in less than three months. Where does one find comfort?
