Gracey

Hi everyone,I wrote about a month ago about flying to see my mother. She is dieing of cancer and you all really helped me, I thank you again. It was a hard trip but I'm glad I went. And I cryed, and that was ok too. My mother cryed too. That was hard, but I needed to see that. I learned things as my mother and I talked that brought alot of things together for us. One thing that was really hard..I would be looking at her and I could still see her and what she looked like before she was sick. That felt like being stabbed.But I sappose that is normal. Well, I better end this for now, Thank you all for listening again. Gracey

Hello to all of you, thank you soo much. Tonight is a new beginning. I am going to buy a couple books to help me, I feel better knowing I'm not alone, it is an awful feeling having all these feelings and having no one to talk to. My husband said once that I was a baby. Joking or not I feel he thinks that everytime I cry.And my friends don't know what to say. My sister is in denial, but she also just had heart surgery done, so I am afriad to cry with her. She refuses to cry. I know she is in pain. I love her, and I will be here for her when she wants. She's my sister. I will see my mother and take all the advise I can with me in my heart. I will let my heart guide me with my mother. I thank you all again and I will be coming on this sight everynight. I hope we all talk more.Gracey

Hello, My name is Grace. I live in Minnesota and my Mom lives in Arizona. I have 7 children so it has been hard to visit. My last visit was 6 months ago, and 6 months before that. My sister called me and told me that my mom is close to the end, so I am flying there this Sunday. I am so scared. I've never seen anyone at the end of cancer. Let alone, this is my mother.She is dieing. I am a wreck. My therapist says since I live so far away and may not be there when she dies...he said I was grieving already.Well I want to stop.{doesnt that sound easy} My mother doesnt want me crying...I dont want to cry.But I cry everyday.My body does things of it's own. Somedays I am dizzy and pukeish, sometimes for days. I cant eat, I have to take meds to go to sleep, sometimes my body stays tight for days. Like when you flex you arm..only its my bodies natural state.Sometimes I cant breathe either. I just know all this stuff is grief related. I have went to the doctors for all of these things. They gave me Lithium, but that med scares me.I just need to find some strength..or something. Any advice? Thank you