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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

chrisjoe2

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  • Posts

    6
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  • Date of Death
    11/27/08
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Sherman Home
  1. Yes you are correct. He is dragging me down bad at the moment. Every day I feel more and more resentful. There is a lot of history there between he and mom, lots that I saw occuring that is making me not like him very much becuase he is doing the same things to me that he did to my mom, and she was disabled. I do want to scream but I am going to keep it together. He tolsd my brother 4 days ago that he was going home in a few days and still no mention. I think once we get through X-Mas I am going to bring it up as gently as I can, like so....what are your plans? I am trying to get through each day as it comes and I feel successful at surviving another day. You are right, my dad is able bodied and can cook, clean, do his own laundry, get his own coffee, etc. This morning I asked my boys what they would like for breakfast. My dad replied, make me an egg and get me a cup of coffee. It was all I could do not to scream!! He doesn't even say can you please or do you mind, I know you're busy with the boys, I know you're depressed because your precious mother just died! No, it is all about him. This will take me a lot of therapy to get through but at least I recognize it. I am going to the group session tomorrow evening and I hope I find it helpful. Thanks, Amy
  2. Lucia, Your post brought lots of tears to my eyes. I too, lost my mom to a very rare form of uterine cancer that accounts for only 2% of all gynecological cancers. I ask myself all the time too, why her?? I am not sure I know how to comfort you at this time as I lost my mom just 3 short weeks ago. But I just wanted to tell you that I believe your feelings are completely normal, you were just a child when you lost her and you sound like a wonderful person. Have faith that your mom is near you, as I am sure she is. I will pray for you and your family at this difficult time and I am glad you have found this website. I believe it will help you through this. Take good care. Amy
  3. All very good suggestions. The boys are not in day care right now. I am off work at the moment so putting them there is not currently an option. My father is of NO help to me at all. He is wrapped up in his own world, doesn't talk to me and sleeps all day and night. He is in a very selfish mode, he even told me and my brother when my mom was dying that he was the only one losing someone and the only one affected. That hurt a whole bunch to think he has no consideration that I lost my precious mother. But that is his mentality and it will never change. I think it would help me if he went home but he has not mentioned that at all. He is like having a 3rd child in the house and waits for me to serve him just as my mom did, and my mom did it while pushing a walker. I'm just a little resentful. I'm going to the group grief counseling this week. Hope I will can get something out of it. I just need some time to be alone. I am yearning for some time for myself. I will need to figure it out. Thanks all, Amy
  4. I wish that were possible. I have lived in Phoenix for almost 4 years but I have very few friends, all who work. It's funny how people say, if you need anything just call. I never ask anything of anyone but last week I was in a bind and needed someone to watch the boys for an hour while I went to the dr. I called everyone I can think of, and everyone said no. I know I sound like I feel sorry for myself and maybe I do. I figure I can feel however I want right now. The truth is I really don't have any support here. I am thinking maybe I should move back to CA. I have a lot of family and support there. But for now, I just have to deal with it because first and foremost I am a mom and just have to deal with the fact that I lost mine. Life is really awful right now.
  5. Sorry to hear of your losses. I have 2 brothers but they are both out of the state. There were hear before my mom died and stayed 2 weeks. They tried to get my dad to go home with them but he refused. We have no family here. The hardest part is having no time for myself. I have to take care of everyone else and there is no one to take care of me. It is an awful feeling.
  6. All, I lost my mother on Thanksgiving to a very rare form of uterine cancer, carcinosarcoma. She battled this disease for 2 years along with Parkinson's Disease for 21 years. I am so lost in the world without her. She meant everything to me. I am now watching the world through someone else's eyes, not mine. The world keeps going, but I am stuck. My 78 year old father has been staying at my house and is sucking what little life I have left right out of me. He is the only one grieving her loss he feels. It is impossible to even get out of bed in the morning. I also have 2 little boys, 4 year old twins who don't understand and are just awaiting Xmas, something I can't nearly cope with at the moment. It is just us, and life is very difficult. Thanks for listening. Amy
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