leda

erica, i am sure it is normal for all of us, who lost a spouse to give up. i too felt the same way, at first, after his death, afew months later, i would come home from work, and would not want to come in to an empty house, so, i just drove to the cementry, and i would lay down on his grave, and just wanted to be there with him,. i done that for months, no one knew. i worked nights, so, i get home, it was still dark. i would lay there, until daylight. i would not dare do that now. but, what i had to do, was move from the home we had. that helps me more, cause, there, i hurt more deeply. here, at my new place, i still miss him, but, it dont hurt as bad, at least i can live,without the reminder of everywhere i looked. that is me. some others, they feel better there at the home. so, it is different for all of us. dont give up on life though. you still have to live your life, it is different now, but, you still have to live. do it for you , or kids, family, and also for us, who reads this. it helps all of us to read. it does me. hang in there. we care and we feel your pain. leda

linda, i am so sorry for your lost, you must sill be in shock. i lost my husband 3 years ago. i just found this site. and, i is helping me to read. i am glad you have already found this site., it will be good for you to talk to all of us. that will help alot. i had run out of people who would listen, after a while, they want you to get over it., but, you will need a long time to talk about how you feel inside. god bless you, it is hard. but, read on this site, we all feel your pain and we understand. leda

dear deborah, i feel your pain, and understand just how it hurts, even today, i too feel the same way, it has been 3 years for me also, nov. 17, 2005. and i kept going each day with the sorrow and hurt. couseling, talking to my friends, but, after a while, they are tired of hearing you talk about it. i can understand that. but, it dont make it easier for us. i could not understand why, i was still not right. the way i used to feel. the hurt is still there, and it just seems to get worse. for me, i can not live in our home we had, and we had a real nice place in the country. i loved our home. but, i just cant live there, because, i hurt too much. i live some where else now, and buying another place, small place, i feel better here. i am renting my home to friends now. rent to own. but, i can no longer go to the house nor the road that i was living with my charlie. i make a special longer trip to avoid going down that road. i dont want to look at pictures of the place. so, i dont understand why i do that. the only thing i can say, it is because i hurt so bad each time i see the home i can no longer have the way it was. that is why i actually started to look for help on why i am still not healed completley. and how i found this site, just 3 weeks ago. and now i see, i am not alone in this. it makes me feel so much better. to know we can really say our feelings, on how we still feel and hurt inside after all this time. holding on the his love that i had, and my love that is still alive inside for him, is all i have left. my love still feels the same for him today. but, if anyone can tell me why i am doing what i do, staying away from the home,or cant go visit my friends there, please help me understand it. i may just be running away from the hurt. i thank you all so much for saying how it still really feels, because, each one of us is grieving and coping in our own way, and it helps to read it and cry while we read,because, i feel your pain and i understand. god bless you, you have to do what makes you feel better. it is so very hard, and i dont see why god had to take him. i know not any of us, really sees why, they say, god had his reasons, but, we dont see, or i dont. but, i accept it now, and i pray he is helping us every day. take care. love to all of you , leda

teny, i am so sorry, i know how you feel, it is just awful what we have to go through,it does seem so unfair to us. i have gone through this now for 3 years, but, what i learned that helps me the most, is just what you done, write to us and tell just how you feel. losing that love is so unbearable. but, just keep looking on here, i am so glad i found this web. i have only been on this site for maybe 3 weeks, but, when i found this, i was so glad to find others that felt just the pain i was and still feel. but to know there are people out there who will listen to us, it is great. it has helped me alot, since i found this site. hang in there, we will pray for you. it will get easier to go on, you will never forget the love you had. you are very depressed right now, just keep talking on this site, all the friends here will listen to you. take care lots of hugs to you leda

hi kay, this is the new friend who asked your help 2 days ago. thank you so much. i am doing it. this site will be so good for me. it already is helping. thank you all, my spouse who died, he was very specail, a good man. loved by all, and will always be in my heart, and memories. his name was charlie my love, my world he was. happy new year to you all, love , leda charlie and leda

hello there,i am new at this writing on here, but, i found this just a few days ago, because i was looking for some help or to see why i have not healed all the way. i too, lost my spouse in nov. of2005. but, just cant seem to completely be the way i was before he died. so finding this site, and reading from all of you, it really is helping to know, i am normal still. i had a friend of you all, to be kind enough to help me or tell me how to write on here. i hope i am doing it. just want to thank you all for telling how you feel, so, others who is hurting so bad, can actually see, that they are not going crazy, when freinds and family, are all tired of hearing you,still not getting over it. god bless you all and again a big thankyou leda