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Blue Eyes

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Everything posted by Blue Eyes

  1. It has been 2 years and 3 months since I lost Dad..I read all the posts and think it will make it better..sometimes it does, but, life will never be the same. I am going through some really happy times with my kids, my son, is about to be drafted for professional baseball..i have happy tears and then sad one's. i feel so guilty for that. my son was so close to his pa and puts his name and date of death under the bill of every baseball hat (i save every one)and says a prayer for him before every game. Life will never be the same. I want Dad here to share all that he so loved, watching his grandkids be successful. I know Dad is in a much better place, but, will it ever get any easier to not have him with us?
  2. I am crying with you to read this..I have not been on this site for a while... I lost my dad in dec 2008 and find myself back here hurting so much right now. I still have my mom too and so relate to you, if I lost her that seems like the end...she is my best friend...I said selfishly all my life that I didn't want to ever deal with losing my parents..(not right..). they are supposed to go before us but when you have a great family it is sooooo hard.. i think about my dad every day, i would like to say it gets easier but when you are daddy's girl and he is gone it is just never the same..I try so hard to cherish all the wonderful memories and it does help at times..my mom is what hurts me the most...she had 48 wonderful years with the greatest partner and i wonder if she will ever be really ok..we have strong faith and the LORD is with us to get thru every day..I didn't feel this way until losing my dad. Please know they are looking over us every day and we will be with them aaagainagainsomeday..It
  3. Thanks again for the advice and kind thoughts. I did get a phone number yesterday for an in person support group, I am calling today and will see what happens. I will post again soon.
  4. I am here for you too if I can help , I just lost my Dad a couple months ago and I think we are at the same stage. I was Daddy's girl and mom is my best friend, maybe we can help each other....
  5. I want to add a bit more cause I guess I just need to write.... I spent today and most of this past week helping my brother and mom get through their grief, my day today was hours helping them, I guess I am the strong one...hmmmm... how do I deal with my grief, just going crazy here....
  6. I have not posted again for a bit, I am not sure what to write but thought I would give it a try. Of course we lost my Dad December 27th and that's not too long ago, I think reality is setting in for my mom and me. The last couple weeks have been horrible, I am trying so hard to support my mom dealing with being alone and all my mixed feelings too. I find myself having many days of just wanting to cry and give up....But, I have 2 teenage son's who I have spoiled that just can't seem to understand the mood swings I am all of a sudden having. What do I do? They loved him dearly too but I feel like I have to hide my emotions and grief. Is this normal? They comfort me too, maybe I am not thinking clearly but I am feeling like I am the only one going through this and nobody understands, like I should just be able to move on with life. This is not working!!!! Please help!!!
  7. Patti, You are in my thoughts and prayers! You are not alone...
  8. Dear Patti, You brought such a smile to my face reading one blue eyed daddy's girl to another.....He always called me blue eyes or sweetheart, such a loving man... Your post gives me great comfort, you seem sooooo strong and are such a caring person, even after all you have been through, to comfort other's is amazing, I hope I can do that as time passes and understand all these emotions. This site is great to share feelings because I was the Daddy's girl but my Mom is a best friend and I feel guilty to share all my crying and sad times with her. I know I shouldn't and some of them we have shared, she says that's what we are supposed to do is go through this together and it helps her. Why do I feel guilty? She was with him day in a day out for many years, we are all so close so it doesn't make sense. Thanks again for your encouragement and thoughts.
  9. I am so glad I found this site and thank you so much for the encouraging thoughts and words. I grew up and continue with my family to consider Sunday's as a family day, however, I now seem to dread them because they are usually sad days. This has really helped to get through the day.... And to know I am not in this alone. My husband is a huge support but does say he can't imagine how I feel because he has not lost one of his parents. From Christmas Eve until my Dad passed on Saturday morning I did not leave his side (5 hours of sleep in all that time...wow) and I am so grateful for that now but it is also causing some of my anger too. Watching the cancer take him away. I remind myself and feel joy in the fact that he is no longer sick and in pain and he told us all he was ready to go. Whew that is hard to hear!! Strange how you can feel you were so glad to be with them when they pass and also feel so hurt because it stays on your mind every day throughout the day. Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your thoughts! I will post again soon..
  10. I just lost my Dad to cancer in December. Even though he had a terminal cancer with no hope or a cure, he went much quicker than we or the Dr's expected. We took him to the emergency room on Christmas Eve (what great memories we have for this year...) and they gave him 24 hrs, he made it for 57 and passed away on Saturday the 27th. I was the Daddy's girl and this is the hardest thing I have dealt with in my life. My parents truly were the love story of life, together 48 years. I talk with Mom every day sometimes a few times a day and try to comfort her, I don't know how she does it!! I am filled with soooooo much anger!!!! He retired in February of 08 and was diagnosed in May. They were set for retirement and to enjoy all the wonderful things they wanted to do. Why him????????? My son is graduating this year, has a full scholarship to play college baseball, possibly a chance to play professional baseball and my Dad is not here...This hurts so much, he loved watching baseball games. Never even will be able to see one of his 3 grandkids who loved him dearly graduate from high school....I cannot get through this anger and am hoping this is a normal thing that will get better. I talk to him every day and tell him how much we love him and miss him! I feel selfish for all of this too, I just never thought he would be gone at 64.....Way too young! Pancreatic cancer is what took him from us, it is such a HORRIBLE thing!!!! I pray for anyone with a loved one going through it!
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