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Chinook

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  1. Thank you. My husband wants to go to a preserve and spread his ashes.. hike somewhere where no development will pop up or people travel but the prospect of spreading his ashes causes me great grief. It’s hard. We have a new pet, Nugget she’s a lovable dog but I have a wall up not to love her with all my might like I did with Chinook. Life is a journey that never ends. Thank you listening
  2. Hello All It has been 12 years since my beloved ferret Chinook has passed and many of you are probably wondering why I am still here. I have been happy and sad over the years and sometimes feel guilty for being happy because my pets are gone parents and grandparents and uncles and aunts are all gone. My next journey and perhaps a final step (yes a little late here) is finding a final resting place for the ashes of Chinook and Nikomi. We are a gay couple and Trump supporters meaning my siblings disowned me because I’m gay and my husband of 29 years has been shunned because he’s a Trump supporter. In short we are all alone. When we die Chinook’s ashes will be tossed in trash. We don’t want to put in ashes in backyard of fear of the ground being disturbed. I also want a place where I can visit. My husband laughed when I suggested a pet cemetery since we can’t afford a place for ourselves. We are starting to fight because our China cabinet is a morgue of urns and candles etc. I know he is right but at the same time I can’t bear to let go, I still have his cage in shed and some of his toys and blanket hid out of site. Any suggestions is appreciated, Thank yoy
  3. Grief is a powerful emotion.  The grief never ends, and I supposed that is okay.  The pain of grief becomes a part of you, and you change.  I know I did but that is okay because it reminds you not to forget.  It gets better over time for those of you grieving from a recent loss.  It does get better, but it does become a part of you.  Nikomi my beloved ferret has passed 15 years ago on Feb 21, and Chinook the Ferret will be 12 years next week.  My parents also have passed so that grief is overwhelming.  This is life and it sucks for sure but I know it will pass in time.  Hang in there everyone and hold those close and dear to you close, family, friends, or your furry friend.  Grief comes in many forms.

    God Bless

    Tim Smith

  4. Sorry about Arlie. It is very hard even today for my Nikomi. 6 days after Chinook. February sucks for me and thank you for providing a space for m to express. . Respectfully Tim
  5. This Saturday, February 22, 2020 at 6am will be exactly 8 years since my ferret, my Chinook passed. The hardest part losing Chinook as I had every pet you could think of over my life span, Chinook was special. I found him or he found me. He should have been put down November of 2011 as I saw signs of cancer with the thinning of hair loss on his tail. Some ferrets do that and it grows back but it is also a sign of cancer. Starting a new job at the same time, November 2011, money was hard. No excuse. I did not want to see the signs. I did not want to take him to the vet because we already lost Nikomi, he was only a year and a half, Chinook;s buddy, we bought him at a pet store. I was afraid what the vet would say but I knew. We thought Nikomi had a cold but were we wrong, he had a rare cancer only found in young ferrets. I did not want to hear those words. Chinook suffer and passed on his own the following February. The guilt to this day is killing me. The selflessness but he knew I loved him but now I feel, he is looking down thinking, "you telling me you could have stopped all that pain??" My thought process, he had some life happiness, his favorite snack or a snuggling with me, he had some joys but I was blind. Like others on this site, my grief is an ongoing journey. There is no time clock. My husband, mother, and others are sick of me talking about him. They want me to sop collecting ferret themed items. There is no ferret replacement in our household. Even though I would love another ferret as I loved Nikomi too even if he was with us for a short time but at the same time this ferret would never be my Chinook. I hired another singer, Moss Cooper a young man to put my song I wrote to describe my pain and dedication, redemption, forgiveness. The words are harsh towards me but isn't that how guilt works. I am sure I am not the only one that feels this way. Here is my song. It is a video of still pictures of Chinook and me describing my guilt, my love, and my plea for his forgiveness. Forgive Me My Pet
  6. Coming here to say I miss you Chinook and Nikomi. February is around the corner and I am going to be in a blue funk for the whole month.
  7. Beautiful comments from you all. This is such a wonderful soulful community. Thank you all
  8. Years have gone by since my life changed forever. I am now medicated and in therapy. My family has it with my obsession with ferrets, perhaps I am trying to fill in a gap in my life. I still will not turn off my torch for my Chinook, they can't make me for I will never betray his memory. I am getting better I feel and have done my last memorial video of Chinook, a milestone in my ongoing grief, 5 years later. This is for you my Chinook. Your life is being celebrated and I pray I will see you in Heaven and you will remember me. My Nookie
  9. My heart goes out to you and know your pain. Hang in there
  10. http://olivianewton-john.com/LIVON-announcement.html I am a big Olivia Newton John fan and she has a song for all occasions. One her recent songs, "Let Go, Let God" has been helping me but she is coming out with a new CD strictly for the grieving soul. FYI Olivia Newton-John, Beth Nielsen Chapman & Amy Sky Create “LIV ON” - A New Album to Aid & Comfort Those Experiencing Grief & Loss While Using the Power of Music To Heal
  11. "Eye for an Eye" is a tear jerker movie starring Sally Field. She gets revenge on the killer of her daughter which I am not condoning but her acting performance dealing with grief throughout the movie is so powerful it is unbelievable. There is a scene where the smell of her daughter on her pillow that got washed in the washing machine in error and she went unhinge because the last remaining partial of her daughter was gone. So powerful, I burst out crying.
  12. OMG Chivon. What a tragic accident. I feel your pain and sorrow. I am so so sorry for your loss. My suggestion would to write a journal to write those hurtful feelings and emotions down. Marty and her associates are very compassionate people, listen to them, they helped me with the loss of my pets. Nikomi- (ferret) 2009 Chinook (ferret) 2012 Logan (dog) 2014 Mr. Ripley (cat) 2014 Snickers (dog) 2013
  13. I am so sorry for your lost. My pets, pet companions are like my fur-kids and even with the loss of many pets it seems in the last few years you can drive your self crazy with "What If's or I Should haves" When I feel guilty and I do, I try to think that my furry friends knew I loved them with all my heart and I did the best I could. Accidents will happen. It is like thinking your parents should be perfect from a child's perspective but in the end parents are no one special, they are just people whom happen to had kids and there is no training when you become a parent. Parents do the best they can be and most do and some don't. What I am trying to say, do not kick yourself on whatever guilt you may have, what ever it was it was not intentional and the fact you are here your love Nitro is profound. So many people do not even flitch when their pet dies, okay let's get another one like replacing a light bulb. Hang in there. God Bless
  14. I had an songwriter and an singer so I could make this final tribute to my beloved Chinook. Unknown to the talent parties, this song was completed on 2-22-14, 2 years to the day Chinook went on to the Rainbow Bridge. Everyone on this site has been so kind and loving, I wanted to share this with you all. Everyone has been so helpful, guiding me to books and sharing your own wisdom and insight. God Bless Tim Smith Phoenix, Arizona. ************OMG, NOVEMBER 4, 2015..... I have been reading some old posts because I was very a little blue missing my Chinook and just realized now after all this time I put in the wrong video in my original post, "The Cat From Outer Space"... Below is the video and song of Chinook the Ferret. Funny, well it is not funny but sometimes I feel myself not grieving for Chinook then I go into this fit of guilt like I am forgetting him which I am not. Even this past Halloween, they say its the day "when the dead return to their loved ones by a camp fire", we have all heard that saying so I took pictures where his cage was and is favorite playing spots which of course has changed with rearranged furniture a new carpet almost like he would not recognize the place. There were no balls of light not even a reflection of dust or a light bulb to humor my sense of hope. Chinook has moved on I am told may-be I am starting to too but feel guilty doing so... Thank you again for always being here allowing me to vent my most private hurtful memories and of course joy. ODE TO CHINOOK THE FERRET LINK TO SONG http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1d3fir_ode-to-chinook-the-ferret_animals
  15. I want to thank everyone for taking the time to share your own experiences and wisdom,. This forum is such an blessing. I have picked up one book on AMAZON and just started reading it now. I guess you always feel your pain is unique but we all go through it. I have re-read everyone's comments 3 times since my first response, it is the reinforcement positive thoughts and love for a complete stranger is overwhelming and most welcome. Thank you all. Thank you Marty for being here for us all. Respectfully Tim Smith
  16. Thank you Marty for your kind words and advice. I got a good cry at your words and at the same time feel a little better. I am honor you are showing my video and will check out these resources. God Bless
  17. Chinook the Ferret passed 2-22-12. In my heart I felt I should have put him down a few months back but I felt he still has some earthly pleasures, eating, snuggling, and so on even though his behind legs were going out. The day he died, I knew I had to put him down the day before but we both knew. I remember I took a week off work and my last day, I was praying for God to take him because I knew I could not handle it,. I remember crying and Chinook crawling to me and licked the tears off my face. The worst day of my life and I pray for my life to end to end the pain in my heart, Fast forward almost an year and half later, and the sting of his death is still with me. I keep on telling me, this soon will pass and I think of Nikomi, my other ferret and even though I am sad, it is not grief stricken like Chinook. Chinook was always my favorite and I supposed it is my fault for building my life around this wonderful critter and now he is gone. The worst part, I am now being exposed to more and more people in my life that state animals do not have souls. Nothing is written in the Bible and I quote scriptures such as "and the Lion will eat with the sheep in harmony" which suggests there is a place in Heaven for God's creatures and then I get these people that say, you have to be reborn again, believe in Jesus, etc etc and animals have no concept of God so therefore they are here on earth to entertain us and to be eaten and that is it. So what is the purpose of dying or going to Heaven if my Chinook is not going to be there, I have lost family members in my life and I have grieve for them but I also know the Bible teaches we will be reunited in Heaven, I am so lost and cry and cry more and more but always in private because the people in my life are tired of hearing about Chinook the Ferret and for obvious reason why I do not have another ferret, It is almost welcoming to be separated in my relationship so I can get another ferret but I know that will not happen. No other ferret or other animal for that reason can replace my Chinook. I am so lost. Would like to share this short video I made on You Tube that sums up how I feel in this post. Thank you for listening.
  18. The new year is getting to a bad start. We miss our SNICKERS. She was a pit bull chow mix with a heart that could warm anyone with a hard heart. Rest in Peace, our beloved dog. http://tjsmitha5.wix.com/tribute-to-snickers#
  19. I would like to share this music memorial tribute to my beloved ferret, Chinook. The poem in the video is short and I wrote it for my lovable pet. Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts. God Bless you all.
  20. Thank you Mary and Marty. The Last 24 Hours Have been a Nightmare. Chinook was my pet ferret and he was my best friend on 4 legs. We found Chinook 8 years ago on a cold winter night in Phoenix, AZ. He was lost, cold, and hungry. We immediately took him into our homes and into our hearts. Because of his size and he was well trained, we expected him to be at least 2 years old when we found him and had him for 8 wonderful years. I have built my life around my ferret more so after we got him a companion named Nikomi and he died at a very young age of cancer at 1 and half years old. Every waking moment, I spent with my ferret besides the everyday routines, as shopping, going to work etc. All my free time was spent with him and now he is gone. He got sick around October of 2011 right around Halloween. We felt something hard in his side and knew right away he had cancer just like Nikomi. Chinook displayed the text book symptoms of cancer. There is no way we were going have his remaining months extended with needle injections or treatments that would make him sicker just to extend his life a few months. In the end, Chinook had no strength in his back legs and whimpered a lot. We had to lay him down in certain positions for him to relax peacefully. Within the last 48 hours, he took a turn for the worst. He could no longer make it to the liter box, and would not eat. I immediately took the week off at work and knew his time would be soon. I made the decision to put him down Tuesday afternoon when Peter came home. He was going to take him to the vet because I did not have the strength to do so. I spent the day with him on the floor cuddle in a blanket listening to the sounds of ocean waves, seagulls and harps trying to relax him for 8 hours. I noticed his breathing was getting very shallow and he was not whimpering that much but had no strength and decided to let him go on his own. So I told Peter I wanted to hold off on the vet. I knew what Nikomi’s death did to me, almost destroyed me handing him over to a stranger to put to sleep. We did not want to go through that again so we decided to give him one more day. Peter definitely did not want to do this either but would if he had to, that was his promise to Nookie. Chinook’s last meal was a snack, 3 small pieces of dry food and a couple of licks of ferrettone. He had a couple of licks of water and that was his last. His last day, I spent the whole day petting him gently, crying, telling him it was okay to go, praying to God, Jesus, my Dad that passed away 8 months ago and St. Francis anyone in Heaven that would listen. I wanted Chinook to go on his own not us playing God and making the decision for him but was willing to do it if he did not go within 24 hours just because at this point there was zero quality of life for my fuzzy friend. I kissed him good night and put him in his bed when I could no longer keep my eyes open at 11pm Tuesday night, at this point only having 4 hours of sleep in the last 24 hours. I got up at 5am as I always have for the last 8 years. I always got up early in the morning so he could have his morning play time before I went to work even though this last 5 months, it was me taking him out of the cage and lie him down on the floor petting him. He enjoyed the time and after an hour or so, he would attempt eagerly tried to crawl to his cage to get his morning treat and have his food bowl and water changed. He would never make it but would flop down exhausted but once I picked him up and put him in his cage, he would eat with joy, then crawl in his bed, flop his blanket around and snuggle for a day’s sleep while I would take a shower and get ready for work. Wednesday morning, I found Chinook had died; his eyes wide open but his upper neck stiff but his lower body was very limp. I let out an anguish yell of grief and called for Peter and he came out. He picked up his body and he was still very warm so was told Chinook must have just passed away moments before I came out in the living room. I woke up at 5am but didn’t go into the living room where his Nations ferret cage was. I just missed his passing. When I came in the living room, Peter asked me if I wanted to hold him and I did. His body was so warm and I mourn and wailed. Chinook was like my kid and I have forever been altered, forever changed. I held him I am not sure how long but when I gave him back to Peter his eyes were closed. Whoever is reading this may not believe this part of Chinook’s passing but I felt like he knew we were there for him, holding him and letting him know how much we loved him. His body died but I think his mind was active long enough for him to know we had him in our arms before his eyes gently closed. When I found this dark color sable ferret 8 years ago, cold, shivering in my arms, hungry and scared, I promised him, we promised him, we would protect him, give him a good life. Chinook had a life of lots of playtime, a ferret playmate even though Nikomi’s time with us was short; I helped him out of his depression of his loss for Nikomi and his first family. He had lots of toys, and never displayed any cabin fever type behavior in the cage. He never bit his cage or paced back and forth so I knew he had a lot of “we time” outside his cage. Most importantly, I promised him I would protect him and I knew he must have missed his original family and I would give him a good life. Fast forward 8 years later, on 2-22-12, I held my Chinook, old, faille, and gray with age. I felt the warmth of his body heat against my body and held him until his body went cold. When I handed him to Peter to gently wrapped him in one of his favorite blankets that is when Peter noticed his eyes were closed. He closed his eyes while I held him and I didn’t even know it. That was Chinook’s last gift to me. I love you Chinook and I am crying hysterically as I write this, My home is filled with ghost memories of you and I, WE will never, never , never forget you. God Bless you Chinook. You and Nikomi are now in Heaven, dooking and playing among the clouds and beyond the grassy hills of the Rainbow Bridge, free of pain, free of restrictions, and surrounded by the love of our loved ones and the Good Lord. Rest in Peace Chinook We love you. Tim and Peter Smith "This plan, which God will complete when the time is right, is to bring all creation together, everything in heaven and on earth, with Christ as head." Ephesians 1:10 "Wolves and sheep will live together in peace, and leopards will lie down with young goats, calves and lion cubs will feed together, and little children will take care of them. Cows and bears will eat together, and their calves and cubs will lie down in peace. Lions will eat straw as cattle do . . . The land will be as full of knowledge of the Lord as the seas are full of water." Isaiah 11:6-9
  21. It is official. Chinook is going to be put down this afternoon when my other half comes home from their intership. I had taken the rest of the week off and spending my last day with him. It kills me so. As each hour clicks, and the time is nearer for my other half to come home, I get wigged out. I am not viewing him as the Reaper but in some unexplained way I am. We are both in pain and crying, more so me. I had to get on this computer and type something out otherwise I would go mad with grief. I feel just a void in my life now and that is no disrespect to my signifient other but while he was going to school, I gave my 100% to Chinook. Tried to get him a companion (Nikomi, our other ferret that died at the age of 1 and half 3 years ago. RIP 2-27-09), gave him the world. Chinook had a good life considering we found him on a cold night 8 years ago. We have been very blessed. I can not stop wailing and crying and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I have a cd playing called "sea of tranquility" trying to calm myself and make Chinook relax. I am praying so hard to St. Francis, that he takes him to the Good Lord. I can't go through what I went through with Nikomi, not again. No more pets for me. Being shy and an introvert and gay, this journey is going to be hard and lonely. Sometimes, I wish my life would be over just to stop the pain. Living in a world when you have to pretend or dodge bullets in which my partner was already shot once, living in a world when a man cannot cry or show emotional weakness just have the ability to cry and not have someone call you a wus or gay for crying. It is just too hard pretending all the time. Chinook never judged me, he loved me unconditionally with all my good and bads and this animal gave me solace in so many dark hours. He was the light in the darkness for both of us. After today, Chinook will be gone and our lives will never be the same ever again. Life altering experience. There will be no more light just darkness.
  22. is losing my soul in grief

  23. It will be 3 years ago this February 27th since I posted on this site when my Nikomi passed away. We got this younger ferret for Chinook but he died from a rare cancer. Fast forward 3 years and I am dealing with the agony of losing Chinook. He is still with us but for how long, I do not know. He has a tumor and can't move that good since he pretty much drags his back legs. He is now having problems going to his liter box. He tries but has a hard time. I know I being selfless but I can't bear to lose him. I have been crying for 3 days straight, trying to give him all the attention he deserves. Let him feel the sunshine on his fur or the light breese of leaves hrough a tree. He looks forward to eatting and always wants let out of the cage so I know there is some joy in this world for him but I know his time is short. As I write this, I can hear him eatting in his cage but I wonder if he will be here with us next week. We already thought he wouldn't make it through Christmas. I have build my life around him which I know it is not healthy what is done is done. I build a small ebay buiness after him, Chinook's Treasures, my networking social sites user names was Chinook the Ferret. I made parody movie shorts on you tube with him and talked to anyone who cared to listen to me rant on about him like a parent would about their honor student. Now his time with us is coming to an end and at that I feel a strong part of me is dying with him. I feel like life has nothing more to offer and now I have to put on a happy face for the sake of my family and move on. I am going to miss my Nookie and have bought every stuffed animal ferret I can get my hands on. No more pets for me, I just can not deal anymore with this sense of loss. He is not even dead yet but the mourning process is already consuming my very being. I do not expect anyone to answer this post. I know pain. I lost my father to cancel 8 months ago and I cried over his death but to the extent of Chinook and Nikomi. I do not know what kind of person that makes me but my best friend, my animal companion will be gone soon, hopefully he goes by himself because it getting to the point when I will have to make that decision for him and I can not live through that again. I remember the vet saying to me, Nikomi was a fighter but he was in pain and his eyes looked up at me as his breathing slowed and his eyes closed. God please take my Chinook in his sleep and ease this unbearable pain.
  24. Nikomi the Ferret Feburary 27, 2011 will be 3 years since Nikomi, our beloved ferret left us for the rainbow bridge. Even though a lot of time has pass, I still think of him often if not every day. By now, I keep my grief to myself, no longer going to thearpy or support groups mainly because I feel people look at me like I am crazy especially my significent other. I miss him so much and I know his playmate Chinook, our remaining ferret misses him as well. Sometimes I wonder if it is his old age or depresssion that slows him down, perhaps maybe a little of both. I still have his picture up and still have his memorial plaque next to the plum tree we planted in his memory called The Nikomi Tree. With the bizarre weather we had over the last 3 years here in Phoenix, with the strong winds and a freak hail storm, the Nikomi Tree lives on. Other trees we have have died due to the freezing cold weather alerts and other factors but the Nikomi Tree grows strong. Every spring when the tree sprouts its white flowers, I can not help but think of Nikomi's white fur coat and miss him sleeping in my arms and licking my hand when he woke up from his slumbers. I suppose the pain will never go away but it is now a private compainion that I only share with my inner thoughts and private tears. I miss you Nikomi, my friend and time will never never never make me forget you. This is my enternal Valentine gift to you. Love Tim February 6, 2011
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