gatorman

You are not alone. I lost Cindy on 3/12 and had to go through the wedding of my daughter on 6/13. It was hard enough to show up but when I was there I asked where is, my mother in law, "Evelyn"? She is a supreme bitch who was quite the sales person in her time and fell apart with Altheizemers when her husband passed. I was the only one that transported her to family functions when Cindy was here. Pissed me off. To me it doesn't matter, family is family no matter where you find it. I believe you should do what you feel is right. Life is too short and kids need to experience family. I pray for you and yours and share your tears. Yes it is OK to cry. Yours, Gatorman

Suzanne, It is 7/3/09 11am. Your feelings strike a resonance that I, and I am sure others on this site have gone through. I wish I knew your story. It is so easy for people that have not been here to not understand. I can't begin to tell you how easy it is to get into self destructive behaviour, thoughts, etc.... at these times. Do me one favor and talk to us. I grew up loving carnival rides but this roller coaster is something I never wanted to be on. Please let us know.

Not being a counselor but my thought on our friend's succint inquiry. Do you remember when the first time that you said "I Do" to the wedding vows or in your mind at the date, engagement, etc. Life was full then and now we have had it snatched away. Or is it? This roller coaster is not the one any of us want to be on. With the great help of these people on here I can't beleive that I have "suited up and showed up" for work. Giving up faith, love, hope, momentarily is what the ride is about. Screw those that tell me a time frame. Take one good day at a time. Keep talking. This day, after 3/12/09, is the first that I have done positive things @ house. One step at a time. Hang in there. Yours. Gatorman

I thought I had problems. I married late in life because I was looking for the one woman I could give my heart to unconditionally. I found her. A week before the wedding my "son in law" moved in to our house with the three kids. Then it goes on from there. Lost my wife 3 1/2 months ago suddenly. As we all know this journey sucks and we all want to howl at the moon. Got a call at 11pm and it was my transplanted grandkids wishing me a happy fathers day. Closest I have come to being happy in a long time. When I think back and look at the carpet, torn patio screen, dents in the walls, etc... I know that it was worth it. Hang in there and as everyone else has said please share with us. I pray that we can be here for you.

I married late in llife because I was looking for the one. God blessed me with Cindy. My grandkids called me up tonight at 11pm and I was the happiest man in the world. The miracle that you are experiencing will come back to reward you. I wish you the best.

I am sorry for the loss of your beloved husband. I lost my beloved wife a little over 3 months ago. The other members that sent you messages are correct. You should keep posting because there is no one on here that can understand exactly what you are going through but I will tell you they are very close. Take care of yourself and and the cats. The house will be there.

I hope that my message gets to you, besides being computer illiterate I am also paranoid about computers. I have been talking to people on this great system also, and agree with you there is no pill or drink that is better. My conversations also covered the lack of REM sleep and talking about the loss of my/your dear spouse. Yes, the dreams are an experience that you and I have gone through. I must wonder though if you are not on the journey of faith. That when like minded people communicate, out of love, something great happens.

You have done the right thing by coming to this site. I still am not able to give good advice on how to deal with the feelings that you have, but the one thing is that you can move forward here. The feelings of quicksand and etc.... have been felt by so many on here. I pray that you keep talking to the people that know more because they have saved me from day to day. Keep in touch here.

I cry after I watched your beautiful tribute to your father. I must also apologize that I stumbled onto your page having lost my wife recently and getting life saving results from this site in another forum. Your story intigued me because of a comment about guilt and regret, which, it seems, has been helpful to yourself and me. You are very brave and ingenious which I am sure that he wanted as his legacy. I pray the bad waves stay down, I understand. You are a great daughter. Keep up the great work. There are many great people to talk to here if it gets rough.

Go with the feeling. Good Luck. God Bless.

Kathy I do understand how difficult it is to move on. I wish that there was a text book that we could follow. I have the damndest time trying out how to do it. Please let me know your progress. Yours, Gatorman

Just being 3 weeks into this I feel what you say. If it were not for the cat that we acquired before my wife passed I would probably be out of my mind more than I/We are at these times.

Having lost my father in a similar way I agree with MLG. Take her advice and even though it was my father that passed at that time take the other under your wing because he needs you now and in the immediate future. You are in my prayers.

Hello Boo, This is Gatorman and I don't think that I can quite tell you how you have helped upon the sudden passing of my beloved wife Cindy. I believe that it was you that sent me information from NOVA that possibly saved my life. I wish that I had the courage and expertise to do something as great as your blog. As I told Lily the help that you all send known or unknown is incredible. You are all in my prayers.

I just lost my wife 3/12/09 and have been looking for answers to deal with the way this has affected me. You quoted Victor Frankl and a rush came over my brain because I read his book "Man's Search for Meaning" @ 40 years ago. What a thing. Bless YOU, gatorman