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Lucia Abeytia

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About Lucia Abeytia

  • Birthday 09/25/1953

Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    Feb,18,2009
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Hospice of the Valley Phx Az

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://
  • ICQ
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  • Yahoo
    nan_lucia@yahoo.,com

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Phoenix Az
  • Interests
    I like to embroder and read take walks

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  • AB3

  1. What a beautiful story of yur life togther. Thankyou for sharing your memories with us. I hope the whole in your heart is less with each passing day. cheryl

  2. Dwayne Thank you for your kind words I will never forget all the wonderful times I had with Ben but I know that I will always have a hole in my heart I am just trying to live my life the best I can without him I hope I can find happiness again some day but for today I just try to live life without him like I know he would want me to..I find comfort in my children and grandchildren and try to live my life the way he would want me to I know it will come someday,May God bless you and thank you for listening to me.
  3. Today is the third Thanksgiving without Ben, it was alot better than the other two..but still sad and I still miss him..My children and I sent ballons up to heaven with a message to him something we have done for all special occasions since he left us..we call the ones that were not able to be with us because of work and because some live out of state we sent them up at the same time from Az to Ga...I know he got them...Today I am thankful for all my family and friends for there love and support,and Thankful for all of you who listen to me when I am sad and feel all alone and you always have such kind words for me and understand this journey that I am on and don't want to be on but most of all I am Thankful for all the wonderful years that God gave me with Ben I have so many memories of our Holidays together..Today was the 1st time in 2yrs that I cooked anything for our Thanksgiving feast and baked an apple pie was one of his favorite pies and always told everyone I made the best apple pie!! My children all enjoyed it and remembered how he would go to the store and get me apples so I could bake him an apple pie...I hope that all of you have a Wonderful Holiday Season and that you remember all the wonderful times you had with your better half..May God Bless you all and may we all find peace and remember our spouses in happy times.
  4. On Nov. 14th Ben and I would have celebrated our 36th annivarsary this was the 3rd annivarsary without him and I kept busy all day that was the first day of my new job so I was busy most of the day trying to get used to my new schedule but I thought of him all day long..I wrote this letter to him and just wanted to share it with you I hope I don't bore you but I just want to share with someone that understands what I am going thru..Thank you in advance. Dear Ben,36 years ago on Nov 14th 1975 was one of the happiest days of my life..I remember when the minister asked If I took you to be my husband for better or worse sickness or health till death do we part..I never thought we would ever part I was so in love with you and I could feel how much you loved me..That day we became one we had such great times we had so many dreams and together you and i set out on an adventure..We became parents (of course you already had Benny jr) but we had our6 and than when Eleanor was 5 and in school we were asked to care for this beutiful little girl that your niece could not care for so we were blessed again when we agreed to adopt Helen and thru out our life we had obstacales to climb and overcome but I knew everthing would be just fine because I had you by my side..We raise 8 beutiful Children you and I and had 24 grandchildren 5 greatgrandchildren, then in 2002 we got the bad news of your illness and we started to prepare for what we knew was coming I never thought that you would actually die even when the drs keeped telling us that you would not last more than a year but you kept going than on Feb 2 2008 they told me you would be gone in 48 hrs,I felt so lost and helpless because I couldn't do anything to make things better and make this go away but you kept going you didn't want to go and I didn't want you to go..but on Feb 18th you couldn't keep going and you left me I thought I was prepared and part of me was happy because you had gone to be with our lord and you would no longer be in pain but part of me was angry because you left me..I cried that 1st year uncontrollably and as the yrs go by I don't cry as much but I miss you so much at night when I turn to your side of the bed to hold you and than I realize your not there...I have a hole in my heart that can't be healed but I want to thank you for the 33yrs 3monts 4 days we had together you were always there for me we laughed,we cried and we loved together today as I remember that day so very long ago that we said I do I will smile and remember that handsome young man that became my husband but was more than that to me..You are my best friend,my lover,and my everything I will miss you but I will see you again some day and when we meet again we will just start where we left off loving each other and laughing and crying together..Till we meet again all my love your wife Lucia
  5. It has been 2yrs 9months and 18 days for me and I don't cry as much as I used to but I still cry at least once a day..I miss my Ben our life together and your right our lifes will never be the same.. there is a hole in my heart that no one can heal..I wish he was still here just like everyone else here wishes but there is nothing we can do but go on till we meet again one day..Mon. Nov 14th would have been our 36th annivarsay so i know how you feel..May God Bless you and guide everyone here on this journey this journey that we did not ask nor want to be on...Lucia
  6. Today is my 3rd sons birthday i made it thru my birthday,Ben's birthday and I thought today would just be another day my sons 33rd birthday I am still in Ga will be going home to Az later this week and I woke up early this morning and just started crying couldn't figure out what was wrong than I looked at the date and realized it was my sons birthday..Relles is our 4th child and 3rd son he is what Ben called our miricle baby he was born 6days after my stepfather passed away it was a very difficult time in my life and when he was born he had problems breathing and we thought he might not make it but he did and than 1 month later he had an asthma attack Ben was out of town on business so i had to deal with this and had to call Ben and let him know that our son was dying!!! Ben was home within hrs and we sat in the hospitol for 3 days praying and crying and than God answered our prayers and our son survived,than on mothers day May 10,1981 We were coming home from the hospitol I had just had our baby son Pablo and ben pulled into the drive way and our son fell out of our van..again we were told he would not make it he was in intensive care for 2months and than again our baby boy made it Ben always blamed himself for the accident our son made it thru and was only blind in one eye which could have been worse...now that baby is 33 yrs old and I love him with all my heart I just wish his dad was here to help celebrate...I miss Ben so much and it is so hard to go thru all these birthdays and next come the holidays!!! I wish I could just hide somewhere till the holidays are all over..This is suppose to get easier but it is not getting any easier...Thanks for listening
  7. Sorry that you are going thru all that I will remember you in my prayers tonight. May God Bless You
  8. Last fri Oct 7th was Ben's birthday he would have been 65 yrs old this is his 3rd birthday in heaven and it is not getting any easier. I miss him so much I came to Sav. Ga to spend time with my daughter I come to Ga every year for his birthday to be with her she is my baby and I am just so much more comfortable with her...I wonder when this pain is going to go away..everyday I act like everything is alright but it isn't my life will never be the same I miss him so much...I get so tired of hearing poeple tell me I need to get over it it's been almost 3 yrs and I should get on with my life...and I wonder what does that mean I feel like my life ended when Ben passed away...everyone tells me I should take my wedding band off that I am no longer married but i still feel married and wearing my wedding band makes me feel close to him I still remember the day he gave me my ring we had been married over 20 years and he wanted me to have a new set because when we got married we had gotten our wedding ring from an native american that was selling jewlery accross the street from the chapel where we were getting married and I wear a size 4 so we could find one to fit me than Ben saw a childs ring that was a plain band and i tried it on and it fit me so we got it he pd $4 for it but i still treasure that ring it sits in my jewlery box and when I look at it I remeber how happy we were we didn't have alot of money but like he used to say we had each other...I'm sorry for rambaling but I miss him so much I can't stop crying I hope eventually the holidays and birthdays will be easier and i won't cry for a week strait..
  9. I read your post and totally know what you mean my Ben left me 2yrs 6months 16 days ago I have gone tru 2 holidays annivarssary birthdays,weddings list goes on and it does not seem to get any easier,,,Labor day weekends were always the last weekend of summer kids would go back to school on Tues so we spent part of the weekend making sure they had everything for school and than we would plan something fun for the kids bar b que Ben loved to bar b que ,or take them on a short weekend trip...it also meant the beginning of what we call birthday season and our annivarsary was around the corner so it was an exciting time around our house now it is a sad time for me and I feel so lost and lonely yes I have our children and family but I don't nhave him!!! Everyone use to tell me it gets easier now they say things like well its almost 3 yrs get over it but how do you get over losing your best friend,your lover,your partner, your everything?
  10. This is a poem that my daughter send me..It has been 2yrs 6monts 14 days and it is almost my birthday and his and I still get so sad this time of year hope you all enjoy this poem: To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say... but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay. I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above. Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love. Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight. Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night. That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through, God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you." It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone. As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on. I need you here badly; you're part of my plan. There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man." God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do. And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you. And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight. God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night. When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears. But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain. Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain. I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned. But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand. But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er. I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before. There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb; but together we can do it by taking one day at a time. It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too... that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you. If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain, then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain." And now I am contented....that my life has been worthwhile, knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile. So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low, just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go. When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind; I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind. And when it's time for you to go.... from that body to be free, remember you're not going.....you're coming here to me. Ruth Ann Mahaffey (author) ©Copyright 1998-2006
  11. It has been 2yrs and 3months since I lost Ben, Everyone kept telling me it's going to be easier just give it time...Well I don't think it is ever gona get easier I miss him more every day...So much has happened in those 2 yrs I have not been on here for a long time I sometimes read the post but have not posted anything because I don't want to bore everyone...I was dignosed with Alizamers and it scares me to death because I am afriad that I will forget him...I notice little things that I forget like the other day I was boiling eggs and forgot that I was boiling them and all of a sudden i smelled something burning...I wish Ben was here to help me thru this I still miss himm
  12. Hi everyone!!! I haven't been on this site for a while but tonight I was missing Ben and saw your post and it has been 1 yr and 6monts since I lost him and I still wear my rings he never wore one he lost his 3months after we were married he didn't like to wear jewlery at all and would take it off so we never got him another...I have no intentions of taking it off everyone is always telling me it is time for me to take it offbut I am not ready to do that...I have no intentions of every marrying again and don't even think of dating...My mother in law keeps telling me I am to young to be by myself and I should start dating but I jst laugh!!!
  13. Chrissis, first of all i want you to know that i am sorry for your loss....I'm glad you got to see your granddaughter graduate, I understand exactly how you feel our granddaughter graduated this may and she was our 1st grandchild together we have another granddaughter that is older but she is not our granddaugter she is Ben's granddaughter from his son of a previous marriage I lost Ben Feb 2009 and he was so excited because our Little Lucy was graduating and he kept telling her that when she graduated he was going to be in the front and everyone was going to hear him but he didn't make it but he was right there with her she carried a small urn with his ashes!!! It is natural to have all those feelings but I am learning that they go away after a while and they tend to come back when we are going thru the !1st of everything without our partner...I have gone thru alot of 1st without him this past year and it has been hard but yesterday was father's day and the 2nd one without him and it was alot easier than last year...I still cried but I was able to function and enjoy the day with my son's and celebrating Ben by watching what good fathers my sons are He taught them well....What I am trying to say is it does get easier I don't think the pain of losing him will ever go away but I am no longer blaming myself of wondering if what I did was enought because I know I spent 8 years watching him slowly die and I carried for him and loved him and everyday I told him I loved him I was at his side when he passed to the other world and I don't remember if I told him I loved him but I know that before that I told him every chance I got...so some day you will find peace..my prayers are with you.hope this helps.
  14. Thanks everyone for your comments...I just learned that our Little Lucy was accepted to U of A and she was also accepted to the pharmacy program which is very difficult to get into that program....I know that Ben is up there as proud as can be of her...she has turned into such an incridiable young lady!!! In case you don't know it U of A is the Univerisity of Arizona!! I just wish Ben was here in person to see her...and my other granddaughter graduates from 8th grade on Monday...
  15. Well Granduation season is here and mine and Ben's oldest granddaugther graduated last night it was such a happy yet sad day for me....Ben had always talked about this day since we went to her 8th grade graduation and then he dies 1 year before!!! I say that like he had a choice...I was so proud of her and I tried not to cry but it was very difficult to do that when all I wanted to do was cry...The kids took one of the small urns with his ashes because my graddaughter wanted to carry them with her which she did but than they took the traditional grandparent pictures and she had him in her hands and it made me so sad that he wasn't there for her biggest day.
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