My father died thee years ago of a sudden heart attack and I was with him when it happened. He was my best friend in the world and meant everything to me. I have tried to go on and rebuild my life but it just seems like I am behind a wall of loneliness. I excpected the grief to be over by now. The intense grief is over but the worst part of it is , but I feel so alone and abandoned. I have no family and ony one close friend whom I can't talk about my problems with. I have tried to make friends unsucessfully. I met a man but he turned out to be abusive and had mental problems. I talked with a Jehovah's witness who happened to come to my home one day and attended their church, thinking I would have some support there. When I didn't agree with their beliefs they stopped talking to me. It just seems so hard to make friends in the city I'm in. Now I am really afraid to make friends with anyone after these bad experiences. It just seems like my life will never get better. I feel like I am being punished after my father's death. I feel like such an outcast. I am miserable in my life and feel stuck. I also am facing financial problems and barely get by, so I don't feel like I have alot of options. What I feel I should work on now is just finding moments of joy in my life. I feel so stuck and wonder if anyone has any suggestions.
