majcm

Thanks so much to all of you who answered me. And Marty I really appreciate the vet's view. I know Woofie was suffering with all her ailments, but she honestly never ACTED in pain and was eating great and drinking still. We did have her on pain meds, but I'm telling myself that the tumor on her butt had to hurt even if she didn't act like it. I KNOW it was the right thing to do and I had gotten myself ready to greive her not being here with us anymore, but in no nightmare concept in my mind could I have prepared for how the death actually went. That is what my husband & I can't get past. I vacuumed yesterday and had to stop & sob and every spot where she normally laid. I didn't want to get rid of the last traces of her. I have always been a pray-er and trusted God and always had to tell my husband "God has a reason" when bad things happen and he questions God. But I have to say this has shaken my faith and my holy candles I have had lit for 8 years are blown out and put away. I am just so angry. But thank you for a place to vent. It does make me feel better that there are other animal lovers in the world who understand the very real pain and grief of losing one. Not one person at my work is an animal lover, so I have to really try to hold it in there. They think I'm nuts to be still crying almost a week later. Thanks again to everyone and I also sympathize greatly with all of your losses. Mary Ann

We put our 14 y.o. akita-husky mix down at the vet today. She had bad arthitis in her hips & knees, a skin infection we couldn't clear up, the pads on her feet were like getting worn down & bleeding. But the big thing was she had anal gland caancer. They showed it to us March 16, and said it was aggressive. We kept her home on meds for pain and infection, and watched it. She still had a great appetite and drank up to yesterday. It just seemed like it was harder and harder to get up and down and walk for her and that thing on her butt HAD to hurt. Anyway, we took her and I don't think I'll be able to get over it if I live to 100. The vet gave her a "sedative" shot under the skin on her back. Said she would lay down and be sleepy in 3-5 minutes. She left the room for us to be with her. Well after 10 minutes she was still pacing, staggering around and finally as her back legs were giving out, I was trying to get my hand under her so she didn't fall on the cold floor and my watch caught her tumor on her butt and it started gushing blood. She didn't yelp, but if I had a gun I would have shot myself rather than have my baby hurt by ME on the day I wanted her calm and peaceful. The vet finally came in (finally with a blanket) and the four of us picked her up and laid her down, but she was still wanting to get up. She was skaking like a leaf, her heart was racing (we could feel it), and I had her muzzle laying in my hand and she was breathing so fast and hard like hyperventilating. SHE WAS SO SCARED!!!!. The vet had to give her two more sedative shots but said the viens kept rolling and blowing so I had to see her stick and re-stick and re-stick my poor sweet wonderful dog about 7-8 times while she was still conscious. Down on the floor, drooling and breathing so hard, but concious. She finally said "I have to give her a small amout of the final shot, I KNOW that will put her under. so she did and it did. But the whole thing from when she gave her the shot under the skin until Woofie passed was 25 MINUTES. My husband was beside himself with pain and anger and I am still in shock and can't understand how I will EVER get those last 20 mintues out of my head. Our sweet dog who trusted us completely and we would never harm a hair on her head and we take her in to be "tortured"before death.How can we live with it? Vet did call, aplologize and said that had never happened to her before. That Woofie's veins were rolling and had given her twice the dosage for her weight to put her under, then even more after that intravenously. I know she was very upset too, but it was so horrifying, I don't ever want to put an animal to sleep again. I feel her dying with the cancer might not have been THAT bad. Or maybe we should have shot her in the head. That would be more human than what we saw. I have 7 cats left....I don't know now that when their time comes, I'll be able to make the choice for them. Please someone tell me if this has happened before and the reasons they were given and a way to prevent it. Can I find a vet that will let me INSIST I get a sedation PILL to give them before we even get to the vet? I don't know...I'm ready to have a breakdown. I don't have kids and my pets are my heart. All I can feel is Woofie trusted me competely and I made a choice to let her suffer. Help.