Tonyia

Thanks so much for replying. I feel so deflated anymore. I don't have anyone to turn to, no family. I have a sister who is 10 yrs older than I am but she's never around anymore. Some days just seem so empty. Again, I really appreciate your reply.

I am so sorry this happened to you *hugs* I am 35 and have also lost my mother and father, I have a sister who is 10 yrs older than I am so I am the baby. We also have no family left and lost our brother when he was 3 yrs old. I hate that you have to feel this pain I am still trying to get a grip on my pain and it's been 2 yrs since my mother passed and I was very close to her as you were yours, we were best friends. I just joined here recently in hopes someone would be here to listen and answer my questions because I feel there is no one to talk to about this. I am so sorry you feel so lonely, that is the worst part of it all and I wish I could fix this horrible place you are in. I will be here to listen and try and help if you need me to, I don't want you to feel so lonely. *hugs: Tonyia

Hello, my name is Tonyia and I'm 35. My mom passed away in October 2006 suddenly while in the hospital for an unrelated procedure. I'm having a really hard time lately, her birthday was in April and now Mothers Day is coming. I lost my father (also unexpectedly) when I was 12 so I don't know if that is why I am having such a hard time with this or what. When he passed it was just mom and I for years and we were so close. I feel so lost without her, she was my best friend and now she's gone I miss her so much, I literally cry at the thought of her being gone. People think I should be "over it" by now but I'm not and I don't know how to be or if I even want to be. I've been having some health issues myself lately and it's the kind of thing you want/need to talk with your mom about. I feel like with both of my parents gone I have no connection to my past. I still have not opened all of the sympathy cards I received in the mail when she passed because I can't deal with the pain they cause, they are just reminders that she's gone and I will never ever get to hug her or talk to her again. I can't understand life without her, it's so hard and different. I took all of her pictures and things away and boxed them up last year trying to make it help and all that did was cause me to break down when I did see pictures of her. SO I have some of them out now but it's still the same. I dream about her when she was alive and some days I wake up and forget she's gone and then I remember and it's like I have to learn of her death all over again. I just wish I knew why I can't deal with this or why it still hurts so much. My heart is broken, I just feel so stuck. A friend of mine found me this forum because I had been looking and looking for one recently which is the first time I've looked for one. That's a step in the right direction, I hope I'm on the road to finally some how healing. Thanks for listening...