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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

tobi234

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  • Posts

    6
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  • Date of Death
    April 8, 2009
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

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  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Canada
  1. Hi Michelle, I'm so sorry to hear that you have also lost your mom. My mother passed away April 6/09 at the age of 59. It was a huge shock and I am trying to make the best of it, doing it one day at a time. I'm glad you got through the weekend. I'm sure she was looking down upon you and smiling . Having the support of loved ones around you will help you get through the rough patches. Take care..... Angela
  2. I'm so sorry for your loss I also recently lost my Mom on April 6/09..... I miss her terribly and the void is huge. I too believe that we will be reunited with our loved ones when the time comes. I hope you are able to find some comfort here... there are many people on this board who understand and are willing to listen and offer support. {{Hugs to you}}. Angela
  3. Hi Sherr, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom {{hugs}}. My mom passed away unexpectedly 2 months ago tomorrow, so I can relate to what you are going through. All I can say is don't try to control these emotions that you are having.... you need to feel them and get them out. It's part all a part of mourning the loss of your mom. I hate to say that I know what you are going through because we all grieve differently, but I do understand. I lost the ones that were closest to me all within a 3 year period, my dad, my grandmother and now my mom. All that is left from my family is me and my sister. (I do have a husband and children, but I mean the family I was raised with). I am 33, my sister is only 23 and at times I feel like a lost little girl who was left to deal with everything and my has world caved in on top of me. You are right, it does get better with time. I don't think it ever goes away, but the craziness you are feeling now does. I've had to have the help of medication to help me cope, and there is nothing wrong with that. You do what you have to do to get through this. I agree seeing a counsellor would definitely be helpful. I am new to this board too, and I though I don't post much, I find that coming here and knowing that there are people who understand what I'm feeling is comforting. I hope you find that too. I'm here if you need someone to listen..... Angela
  4. Thank you again for responding. I am still having a hard time, though I am having more better days than I had been. This past week was hard..... it was the 3rd anniversary of my father's death on May 29th. I went to the cemetary and just had a good cry. I am comforted to think that they are together again now though, in a weird sort of way it makes me feel better. I find that lately I am more angry than sad..... angry that my life has turned out this way..... self pity - why did this happen to me??? Angry at my mother for leaving, angry that she died the way she did. Angry that we have no answers. I know this is all a normal of the grieving process but sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy! On good days I feel like the old "me" again for a little bit - which is good, but then something will remind me and it smacks me in the head all over again. I wish people would be more understanding - it's almost like they feel I should be over this already, and it hasn't even been 2 months yet. I am very grateful for the friends who have been by my side through all of this and who cry and hurt right along with me.... I've needed their support more than they know. Then on the other hand I am hurt by people (1 person in particular who is suppose to be one of my good friends) who hasn't been there for me at all. She did come to the funeral, but didn't come to the wake or to see me at home. In fact the last time I saw her was at the funeral. I've only spoken to her twice since April 14th. She sent me an email apoligizing that she's been so busy, but I don't buy it. This is someone who I've known for 16 years and have been there for many times when she needed me. It feels like a slap in the face.... I though our friendship meant more to her than that. I don't know if I can ever forgive her. I feel as though she abandoned me when I needed her most.
  5. Thanks for your responses. I'm glad I found this forum, I think it will help me cope. Being able to talk to other people who can relate to what I'm going through will be a huge comfort. I think I will look into finding a councellor or someone to talk to. I haven't in the past, but I think this may be a little too much for me to handle on my own. I've been on a crazy ride of emotions.... it's hard to handle at times. I seem to be fine one day and miserable the next. I just really miss my mom. Life throws all kinds of crazy things at you, and she was the one who I've always been able to go to in times of need. Now she is not here when I need her the most I just can't believe she's gone! With my father having cancer, it was horrible, but we had time to process what was eventually going to happen - even though I think I was in denial. We were able to be with him when he died. He has been gone 3 years on May 29th. When my Grammie passed away 2 years ago in April 2007 (we were very close - she was like my second mother), it was unexpected, but we were also there during her last moments. She was 87 and had a good life, and was ready to go. I've made peace with that, though I still miss her terribly. Mom had always said that it was good that Grammie died the way she did, quickly with no suffering and surrounded by her family. She was very independant and still able to get around on her own quite well, but it had always been a fear of ours that we would come home one day and find her dead.... we would never have known her last moments and she would have died alone. Now, ironically, my mother's biggest fear has become my reality. I will never know her last moments and she died all alone. Even worse she was there for 2 days without us knowing. I wasn't able to see her and have the chance to say goodbye. I have a vivid imagination and can't get those images out of my head. I feel so empty and heartbroken..... and confused. I have so many questions that need to be answered, and the reality is that they may never be answered. Why did this happen to us again? Why Why Why?????
  6. I just recently lost my mother on April 6, 2009. She was only 59 years old and as far as we knew, healthy. My younger sister and I hadn't spoke to her in a few days and we became concerned. My sister and her boyfriend went to mom's apartment on April 8th, and he found her dead on her bathroom floor. An autopsy was performed, but didn't give us any answers. They said there were no "physical findings", and now we have to wait up to 9 months for all of the other tests to come back and to get the final report. The worst of it is that we were not even able to see her because of the state of her body. It's absolutely heartbreaking to lose someone, especially your mother, but to know that she died alone and found like that is killing me. Not knowing what happened is even worse. This is the third death in our small family. Our dad passed away 3 years ago from cancer, our grandmother 2 years ago, and now mom. Our mom was an only child, so there is no family left on that side that we are close to. My sister and I are 10 years apart, I am the oldest. I feel so lonely. My sister is the only one who really understands how I feel, but I feel I cannot share all of my feelings with her for fear of upsetting her. It's been very difficult for me, even worse than when our other family members passed away. We were so close to our mother. I am the oldest and had to make all of the funeral arrangements and take care of everything. It was horrible having to go through her apartment and go through her things and packing everything up. I am 33 years old and feel like an orphan.
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