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pier472000

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About pier472000

  • Birthday 01/01/1951

Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    3-30-2009
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

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  • Your gender
    Female
  1. This is so familiar sounding to me. Its been 10 months since Tom's death and I got to the point where I couldn't handle anything else going wrong. It seemed as though anything in my house that could break, leak, fall over etc etc did. I vowed that at midnight on Jan 1, 2010 I was going outside in the snow and cold to howl at the Blue Moon - and I did - to kick off the dust from 2009. Having such a trauma as losing your spouse seems to create extreme emotional reactions to life's added trials.
  2. Today is 10 months since Tom died and I have been surprised; not so much that others move on and forget about his death, but surprised by the people I thought would be "with" me through this process who have fallen completely out of my life. Death is such a difficult experience for we who have suffered the loss of loved ones and that gets compounded by the isolation. I read a post under another topic where the discussion was all about going back home and I fully understand how home is a safehaven filled with memories, triggers AND protection from the aloneness that goes along with this grief thing. Peace to all.
  3. Oh yes, I have a dear friend who will spend time with me and never once bring up Tom's name or ask about how I am doing. I believe that she thinks she is protecting my feelings and I appreciate that she cares about me. I do, however, feel like a leper at times when I am with her...we can just hang in there and hope that some day our friends will recognize that we need to tell and re-tell our stories.
  4. You are very courageous and I will keep you in my thoughts as you celebrate memories on your 41st anniversary tomorrow.
  5. Carrieboo: I'm so sorry that you are having a tough time right now. One of the most helpful things I was told about grieving is that its like sitting on a beach and huge wave crashes over you and drags you out into the deep water where you are tossed around and around and finally dumped back on the beach. You get to sit there for short time and another wave crashes over you and the same thing happens again and again and again. As your grief journey progresses you will get to sit on the beach longer between waves. Maybe you are being tossed around in the deep water right now and I pray that you'll be back on the beach soon, for a long time.
  6. Next week will be a very significant marker of six months since my husband took his life. I have been meeting with a grief therapist for a few months, which has been so helpful on my journey. Recently I went to a widowed persons meeting and had such an uncomfortable experience as the people shared their stories of nursing loved ones who had terminal illnesses. I didn't share my story because I felt so ashamed that my husband didn't fight for his life the way others had; where do I belong I wondered...Since then I learned of an organization that sponsors an awareness event called Out Of The Darkness Walk, which is a fundraising opportunity to provide suicide prevention. I decided to participate in the walk in my city next Saturday, Oct 3, in memory of my husband and also in hopes of increasing awareness so that people who feel so helpless and hopeless will know that there is help for them. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers, this will be an emotional experience for me and all my fellow walkers who have lost their loved ones the same way. Thank you, Mary
  7. March 30, 2009, a date that changed my life forever when after work I found my husband at home, he had taken his life. I am being tossed in the waves of grief and trauma. Currently I am numb and feel like the world is happening around me. If anyone has experience with healing after a suicide I would be grateful for help and suggestions.
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