Karen8

You are not alone in how you feel. Just over 3 years ago I put my cat to sleep. He was in kidney failure. Like you, it was the hardest decision of my life. He died in my arms. Afterward I doubted myself. I cried for days. But I know I did the right thing for him. You were Lady's mom and only you could have made that decision and I'm sure you made it from your heart. It is always hard to see your babies in pain. Try to think of how she is pain-free now and looking over you. Maybe she will come to you in a dream like my boy did. It was awesome. He told me he was good and that it was ok to let him go because he was tired. I know it's hard but stay strong and you'll always have the memories. Good luck to you.

Chris, You are very normal as you will see on this site. Everyone here is very supportive. I'll share my story with you... Dinty, my cat, also had to be put to sleep because of chronic renal failure. He was about 15 years old and he was the love of my life!!! He was put to sleep on May 3, 2009. It has been over a year and just this week I heard a song on the radio that made me think of him and I started crying. I will always miss him. There is no time limit for grieving so please don't let anyone tell you otherwise. My thoughts are with you. Take care, Karen

Renee, This is a very nice tribute you wrote about Cal. It sounds like you two loved each other so much. I also believe that all the furbabies we lost are waiting for us when it is our time. I'm waiting to see my Dinty! I'm so sorry for your loss. Karen

I am so sorry to hear of this. You must be so upset. I had to put my cat to sleep last May (he was very ill). This is no comparison to why you had to make that hard decision, but in a way it is. I still question myself on whether I did the right thing. I know I did, but that doesn't make it any easier. Everyone has their own way of greiveing and your husband is choosing to do it quietly, which is fine. There are many people who have gone through the loss of a pet and going through what you are right now. I turned to some animal communicators which helped me get through the bad times. I actually had her "check in" on my cat and he is doing GREAT on the other side! He was playing with other animals and eating something like clam chowder! This was really good news because he didn't cross over at first - he didn't want to leave me. I can suggest someone if you want to try it, no pressure, just think about it. Most importantly, take care of yourself. Your other fur babies need you! Karen

Elaine, I loved reading your story about Rocky and the strong connection you had with him. I don't think you are crazy at all! I think it is wonderful how you found peace. I lost my cat, Dinty, on May 3, 2009. The grieving was almost unbearable. I still think of him and cry some days. I believe that some day we will be together again at the Rainbow Bridge. Stay strong - I know how hard it is to lose a little angel. Karen

I have used Bridget (www.petsaretalking.com) too and I agree. She has a great talent and can be trusted 100%!

I'm so sorry to hear about your sweet Trixie. I recently had to put my cat to sleep after almost a year of treatment for renal failure. He was taking to the treatment pretty good for awhile, then made a fast decline. You asked about an animal communicator. I had one talk to Dinty to make sure he was ok with me putting him to sleep. At first he didn't cross over (I guess pretty rare), he said he wasn't going to the other side because he wanted to stay with Mom. The animal communicator explained that he could cross over and then come visit me from there. He did! He is doing very well and he said he was ok with me putting him to sleep because he knew his body was failing. He has a lot of friends up there! This made me feel so much better. I also used another animal communicator to talk to my cat that is still living. I can give you the names of the animal communicators that I used if you like. Let me know. Best wishes, Karen

Dear Pippin, I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet little Gregory. You said it yourself in the 2nd line of your post - "accident". That is what is was, an accident. You shouldn't feel responsible, it was an accident. Sometimes things happen in a split second and we wish we could turn the clock back. I wish I could say something to make the hurt go away and I know it hurts. Take care of yourself.

Charlie is a beautiful cat! I lost my cat, Dinty, on May 3, 2009 (I had to make the same hard decision you did). So, it has been just over 4 months for me and I still cry every once in awhile. I touch his urn at least once a day and tell him I love him and miss him. Certain songs I hear make me cry too. You are not crazy and I'm sure you did the right thing. I too went through a lot of vet visits and treatments, and medication and hospital stays, etc. I have another cat, Onyx, and I love her, but the bond that Dinty and I had was amazing. Maybe it is all of the "stuff" we went through together like you and Charlie did. I have to believe that one day we will be together again with our little fur babies. I can't wait to hold him again. This is Dinty about 2 months before he died. Take care, Karen

Ebsmom/Depotsmom, I LOVE that you shared the pictures! My favorite of Ebony is with the toilet paper - my Dinty used to do the same thing!!!! Depot looks like a super precious puppy! I can't believe he is only 9 months! I'm glad you found each other and I'm sure Ebony is watching over all of you. Karen

Bailey's Mom, I know you are going through a really rough time right now. I had my cat put to sleep on May 3, 2009 after almost a year of being diagnosed with a chronic illness. Everything you are saying is exactly what I felt. Was it too soon, did I do enough, the not getting rid of her dishes and vacuuming her hair, etc. It sounds like it was poor Bailey's time. I'm sure you did not let her down. She knows that you love her and you will always have that. That doesn't make it any easier, believe me, I KNOW! Keep checking back on this site, it helps to know that there are people who understand and are willing to listen. Hugs to you and your family. Karen

Ebsmom, No, I don't think getting another dog is betraying Ebony at all. Just think about all the dogs out there who need a good home and someone to love. You seem to be very caring with lots of love to give. Any dog would be happy for you to be their mom. And getting another dog would not replace Ebony. I thought about getting another cat after Dinty died. I still have one cat, Onyx. I thought she might get lonely and want a companion, but she is getting old and I think she is happy with all the extra attention she is getting now. When Dinty was alive, for the past 11 months, he was on medication. He got medicine every morning and medicine and fluids every evening. I would schedule everything around him. Some days, I was just tired and didn't want to go through the "hassle" of giving him his medication, but I always did. In a way, it is a relief that I don't have to do that, but if I could have him back, I'd do it again in a second. I don't think you will ever stop missing Ebony (and you shouldn't), but it will get easier. I'll listen any time! Karen

I received this poem from a friend of mine when Dinty died. I want to share it with you. MY FOREVER PET There's something missing in my home, I feel it day and night, I know it will take time and strength before things feel quite right. But just for now, I need to mourn, My heart -- it needs to mend. Though some may say, "It's just a pet," I know I've lost a friend. You've brought such laughter to my home, and richness to my days. A constant friend through joy or loss with gentle, loving ways. Companion, friend, and confidante, A friend I won't forget. You'll live forever in my heart, My sweet, forever pet. -- Susanne Taylor Karen

Dear ebsmom, I feel so sad that you are having such a hard time. Believe me, I understand the guilt that you are going through. I put my cat, Dinty, to sleep on May 3, 2009. He had kidney failure and I was treating him for 11 months. He finally got so weak and stopped eating and that is when I decided it was time to say good-bye. I also undestand how there aren't many people who understand how close we get to our furry babies. Dinty and I were like "soul mates". We understood each other. I questioned my decision to have him put to sleep and it was eating me up that maybe he wasn't ready. I don't know how you feel about this, but I had an animal communicator "talk" with him. At first he didn't cross over because he "wanted to stay with Mom". The animal communicator asked him if he was ready to pass on and he said "no". I felt horrible. She helped him cross over then in a couple days I asked her to ask him again if it was ok for him to pass and he said "yes, my body was failing and it was my time". He told her that he visits me (she described me sitting on a couch and him on the floor - which he always did!). I wanted her to tell him that I was proud of him crossing over and he said "of course she is proud of me". She told me that whatever she said, he seemed to already know. He said he has lots of friends and he is doing very well. I don't want to push this on you, but if you are interested, you can send me a note and I'll give you more information. My boyfriend thought I had totally lost my mind by doing this, but he said if it made me feel better than that is all that mattered. I feel a lot better knowing that he is safe and happy and out of pain. And yes, I feel I will see him again! Take care - I know it's hard and you are not alone. Karen

Yes, Julie, you brought up a good point about the anesthetic being so fast. I guess I was thinking after the first shot I would have time to say my last goodbyes, but he was "asleep" immediately. Thank you for your kind words!

Dear Julie, I wanted to add that you did not betray Petey. You were there when he needed you. Blessings, Karen

Dear Julie, I can tell by reading your post that you have a HUGE heart and I know Petey loved you. Your post also brought me to tears because it is so much like the experience I went through with my cat, Dinty, who left me on May 3, 2009. Everything from the private room, the time alone, the explaination from the vet, when they took him to put in the IV, and especially how fast it all heppened. I held Dinty in my lap and I never really said "good-bye" before the first medicine, while he was awake. I had my hands under the blanket that he was on and I didn't pet him or talk to him during the last seconds. It is really amazing how fast it happens. I keep telling myself that he knew I was there even though I would love to change the way I handled things. Petey knew you were there too. Your poem/song is very moving. Petey was lucky to have you and you were lucky to have Petey. I really feel your sadness, it is so hard losing someone so close. I, too, don't have any children and he was my life. May you find peace knowing that Petey is out of pain. My best, Karen

Dear CharlieGirl99, I am so sorry to hear about your little puppy. Like you said you only had her a few months but bonds can grow so quickly with pets. It's always hard to lose someone that means so much. You are right in the fact that there was nothing you could have done. You have to remember the good times that you gave her and that she gave you in her short time here on earth. As for the puffy eyes, "time" is all I can say. When my cat, Dinty, died I didn't even attempt eye makeup for at least 5 days. In time, you will want another pet, and you will know when you are ready. Hugs to you and your family and your beloved little puppy who is now in Heaven with my Dinty. Karen

Dear sophiesmom, I recently had my cat, Dinty, euthanized. I held him until he took his last breath. In the minutes before the vet came in, I held him, but I feel that I never really said "good bye" because I was trying not to bring attention to the fact that he was going to die. I was crying so I'm sure he knew something was wrong. It all happened so fast and when he was gone, the vet asked me if I needed some more time and I said no and let her take him away. I wish I would have held him for a little bit longer. I have lost other family pets, but this was my first experience with MY OWN pet. Dinty meant the world to me. My point is, no matter what you did, you will think back and wish you did things differently. I'm sure you did what you thought was best at that time which is exactly what you should have done! You can't question yourself. You mentioned that you "knew she was dying because you know your cat" and only you know yourself. You felt you couldn't watch her die and you said your good byes while she was still alive. I don't know if I helped, but I hope I did. Karen

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your dog. You came to the right place to talk about it. It has really helped me. I hope you and your wife can find peace in the loving memories that you will always cherish. They sure touch our hearts, don't they?

Please understand that what you are feeling is normal. I too lost a dear beloved friend on May 3, 2009. I was the one that made the decision to put him to down. I'm starting to cry just thinking about it. I questioned my decision, but like the other post says I'm sure you made the right decision because only you knew what Molly was going through and that it was time. My cat had a chronic illness that I was treating him for. I still haven't gotten rid of his bag of fluid (only 1/2 empty). It still has the needle attached to it that I used the last time on him the day before he passed. I will keep it until I'm ready to let it go. This website really does help. I hope you find peace and know that Molly is watching over you!

Dear MyKids, It's so hard losing someone in your family. I went through it with my cat, Dinty, on May 3, 2009 - the hardest day of my life. I do have another cat, Onyx and she is 15 years old. I'm concerned with her health, but I know if something happens, I will do whatever needs to be done to take care of her, like you will with yours! I pray that all the tests on Bess and Flirt come back OK. My thoughts are with you. Boo was so lucky to have you! Karen

Dear Shortbabydea, Oh, Sweetie, I know exactly what you are going through. I lost my boy cat Dinty on May 3, 2009. I made the decision to have him put to sleep. He was diagnosed with chronic renal failure in June 2008. I did everything I could for him with medication, TLC, etc, but I still feel I could have done more and that I let him down. It has now been 5 weeks and 3 days and I still cry every day. (I'm getting teary-eyed as I write this) It helped me at the beginning and even now to read these posts to know that I am not crazy in how I feel. It just seems so unfair that such loving creatures, who mean the world to us are taken from us all too soon. Lucky Bear was lucky to have you! Karen

Raki's Mom - I'm so sorry to hear about your baby! I know what you are going through. I had my cat, Dinty, put to sleep on May 3, 2009. For about a month before I had to make the hard decision, I would always wonder if he would still be alive when I woke up in the morning or when I got home from work. He had been ill (chronic renal failure) since June 2008. I was hoping, like you, that he would go peacefully in his sleep. But he got so weak and stopped eating that I thought it was time. I do have to say that my vet was excellent and he did go very peacefully. Some people will tell you, like they told me, that at least you know it is coming and you can prepare for it. Still doesn't make it easy so my prayers are with you. It has been almost a month for me and I miss Dinty terribly, every day. Each day does get a little better, so I hope that helps. My advice to you - grieve as much and as long as you need to. Don't let anyone tell you, "it's only an animal". The people I work with don't understand the bond I had and I got really angry. I'm still angry at them. One thing that helped me was setting up a memorial for him. I have a pillow with his name on it holding a lock of his hair and a plaque with his picture on it sitting next to his ashes. I touch his urn every day (more than once a day!) and still talk to him. I know he is watching over me and I know that he is pain free now. Try to stay strong though this difficult time. Karen