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Urchin

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Everything posted by Urchin

  1. Thank you to all of you who replied to my post. Your kindness and understanding and words of wisdom were just what I needed this morning. Last night I received some terrible news, but for the first time in over 5 months I thought of someone besides myself and my grief for my Sterling. Yesterday a very good friend who lives up in Alaska lost her 19 year old son. He killed himself. Sterling and I lived in Alaska for 23 years and used to babysit for this boy when he was a baby and into his toddler years. We loved the little guy so much. I have to tell you what sends chills thru my soul about this boy and my Sterling. My step-daughters put together a brochure for Sterling's service. They picked the pictures, the poems and wrote the narrative and then took it to Kinkos for printing. I saw in only after it was finished. What is so overwhelming now after hearing of my friend's son, is a picture that was inside. The girl's wanted to show Sterling's sense of humor, so they put in a picture of Sterling and I wearing Groucho glasses and a baby wearing a Picnocho (spell?) nose. Sterling is holding this little boy in his arms. What is chilling is that the girls looked thru hundreds of pictures and they chose that one. As shocking and heartbreaking as the death of both of them so close together is, I am finding comfort in knowing that precious little boy is back in Sterling's arms. The Sarah McCloughlin song "In the arms of the Angels" keeps playing over and over in my mind. Tears having been sliding down my face since I heard of this boy's death. I don't know if I am crying for him or Sterling or both. One more thing before I go. My friend and I had a huge falling out and have not spoken for seven years. She did not acknowledge Sterling's death even though she knew about it. Should I reach out to her? Should I send her a copy of Sterling's brochure? I am at a loss again. Any help you post will be appreciated.
  2. Hello All, I am here because I lost my husband Sterling 5 weeks and 5 days ago. He died suddenly of a heart attack. He was 60. He was my whole world. He was my best time. I am living in a pigsty with my two cats (thank God for them). I can't do the simplest task. I don't want to do the simplest task. Cleaning my house or myself seems like a huge waste of my time. Time that is better spent wandering around in my nightgown always ready to climb back into bed. I have no family here, but I have a good friend who lives about an hour away. She has been my buoy in this ocean of grief. I am here because I need any help you can give me.
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