nikol87

Tomorrow we'll have the first year mark.. i m afraid that it will be very difficult for me...

Thank you niamh!

Hi.. it's been a lot a time since i wrote here last time.. in a few days (4/6) is the one year mark of my grandma's death.. Next friday i ll go to the village where she lived to go to her grave and for the ceremony(1st anniversary). It will be difficult i know, i miss her and i think that everything start from the beggining now.. i remember the phone rand and told me that she died, the funeral..i remember every detail and it's hard..

It s 3 months since my grandma died and such i ve already said, i miss her very very much.. but now i m worry about me.. every night i want to sleep only to see her in me dreams, to be with her, to talk with her. I know that my dream is the only place now we can be together.. but yesterday night i think about her and i took my mobile phone and call her home number. I let it to ring.. of course i didn t wait that someone will answered but it was such a strange feeling to call her number again.. Is it normal?

So many time.. so many days without her.. every night she is in my dreams, she is with me.. she tell me that she is with me and that she is here for me.. i miss her so much.. i still believe that i should be there for her, she shouldn't die alone.. but i wasn't.. i had the pictures of the funeral, of the grave, of her in her last home.. i can't take them out of my mind.. i love her and i can t believe that she is gone.. forever.....

Happy birthday Chai!! Take care!!

Hi.. it s midnight here in Greece and i m thinking that in 3 days will be 2 months since my grandma left.. 2 months.. i can t believe it.. i think that it was yesterday.. i have pictures in my mind from the funeral.. the grave.. i can't believe it..

Thank you very much for your answer. I think that your granddaughter is very lucky because she has a very good grandmother! I know that my grandmother didn t want to be sad.. i m sure for it. But i miss her and there are and so many other problems and i can't anymore... Now i' m crying again, all of these days i cry when i'm alone.. i don t want it because then i feel worst.. I cant sleep and if i sleep i have nightmares.. Thanks again, i needed to hear something because i feel very alone..

Hi.. I have lots of days to write.. I can't feel anything.. I feel empty... but i understand that something is wrong with me.....

Tomorrow morning i'm going to the village (where my grandma died) for the memorial.. i don't know if i can.. i don't believe that i will be there without her..

I remember she was always with me since i was little girl. We were shared everything and we entrusted the one the other. She was very proud, she was not opened easily to others, however she entrusted me. Even in recent times that she was sick and could not speak easily she tried to speak to me. I had her like my mother, she was the first person i told everything about me.. and now... now she passed and i'm here hating myself for being alive. If only i had another chance to be with her and tell her how much i love her.. This week-end we hav the memorial for forty days since she passed.. i can't believe it.. i think that it was yesterday and i can realize that she will never be with me again.

I feel alone.. I miss her...

I can't anymore :(

Hi.. I had a strange feeling.. i don' t care about anything.. i can't sleep and i don't care if it's day or night outside.. This week i' ll go to the village and go to her grave. This is the only i want. I want to go and be near her grave.. near her.. Yesterday i slept for a little and i saw her in my dream.. she wanted a song.. a old greek song which i didn't know and i've never heard it. And when the morning ask my mother if she knows a song like that, she told me that it was my grandma's favourite song. I can't believe it.. she asked me her song.. I miss her...

I'm really sorry about your dad. My grandma passed 3 weeks ago and i have the same feeling. I want time to stop, i think that everything is moving too fast but i can't go on my life.. I don't want time to go by too..