CharlieGirl99

Hi Ebbsmom, I'm so sorry to hear about your sweet baby, Ebony. I couldn't help but cry too when reading your story. I hope you know that you did everything you could for her and have absolutley nothing to feel guilty about. You gave her a wonderful life and she knew how much you loved her. She would want you to be happy, and in no way would be upset if a new puppy would help ease your pain. I also lost my little dog almost three weeks ago (Scarlett), and cried nonstop for the first week because I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest. It's an unbearable weight and you're so right - very few people "get it". If this helps, we also considered adopting another puppy, soon after we lost Scarlett. The pain started to ease a little after the second week, and my oldest son really wanted to get another dog - after talking things over with my husband, we agreed. After a few days of searching, we found rescued our new puppy, Zoe this past Monday. Zoe will never replace Scarlett, and it'll take me a little longer than usual to bond with her because of my strong attchment to Scarlett. But, I will say that my mood has tremendously improved and I find that it's no longer difficult to go home because there's a new little ball of love waiting to greet me when I get there (rather than just the haunting memories of all the times I spent with Scarlett). I love this new puppy and am thankful that we didn't wait to get her. She really seems to have helped me focus on more positive thoughts like giving her a good future, rather than beating myself up about what happened to Scarlett in the past. (((((hugs))))) to you and your family. Tina

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet little Kaiya. I know exactly what you're going through right now and the guilt and pain can feel overwhelming. Please use this opportunity to cherish the beautiful dog you still have - he is probably feeling the loss also and needs you now more than ever. Our little puppy, Scarlett was hit and killed by a car 8 days ago and I saw the whole thing. The images are still fresh and the pain is still present, but I am slowly starting to deal with the reality of what happened and trying to sort out all of the emotions and feelings that go along with it. I also struggle with wondering "what could I have done differently that would have kept her safe" and have spent a lot of time beating myself up for the mistakes I made that day. Switching from the constant self-questioning and focus on all the things we did right by our girls will be difficult. For me, I try to think about how we took her everywhere and she couldn't have asked for a more loving family. She was also my little princess and snuggle bug, so I know she was happy the short time we had her in our home. You mentioned that you took your dogs hiking and to the ocean - it sounds like you also cared for Kaiya very much and she knew how much you loved her. Please try to remember the good times and all the good things you did for her to make her life a joyful one. I bet if the situation were to happen again, you would do things much differently. These tragedies have taught us some valuable lessons - but if we dwell on the "what if's" for too long, we will cause ourselves an immense amount of additional pain. It's very important to forgive yourself and let the guilt go. I don't know if this tip will help you or not, but it helped me. The day after Scarlett died, I came home to our empty house and apologized to her and begged for her forgiveness for all the mistakes I made that day. It really helped to say it out loud, and when no one else was around to hear it so I could be as raw and honest as I needed to be without someone else around to chime in. I felt a lot better afterwards and it seemed like the guilt started to diminish shortly afterwards. It was almost as if I felt her forgive me all the way from Heaven. (((((( ))))))) Sending big hugs to you and your family. Again, I'm very sorry for your loss. Tina

Thank you both for your kind words, they really helped. Karen, I'm very sorry about your Dinty, he sounds like he was a one-of-a-kind kitty. I'm sure Dinty and Scarlett (our puppy) are both in heaven right now wondering why we are so sad and hoping we can heal soon. Thanks again, Tina

I'm brand new to this forum and could really use some help. Our 5 month old puppy was killed by a hit and run driver yesterday and it all happened right in front of me. We had been working with her on not bolting and running away, but she took off across the street. When I called her to come back, there was no traffic, but she hesitated a few minutes, then came charging back (and she was very quick) right as a car came speeding around the corner. I'm still in shock and cannot stop crying. I feel horrible and totally responsible, even though I know in my mind that there wasn't anything I could do, but I just can't seem to accept it. The jerk that hit her never even stopped. She was only alive for about a minute after being hit. My husband came rushing out and tried to cover her with a towel and get her into the car, but it was already too late. It all happened on a weekend, so we had to leave her in an overnight drop box at our local veternary clinic. My god, do I feel horrible about leaving her in such a cold place. I kept having these horrendous visions of her regaining consciousness and me not being there. I know, it wasn't a rational thought, but it was still there and hard to shake. We didn't know what else to do...we didn't want the kids to see her like that. We did contact the hospital this morning and are going to have her cremated, so at least that will help provide us with a little closure. We had only had her a few short months, but she had become such a beloved member of our family. She slept by my feet and went everywhere with us. I can't believe she will never get the chance to grow up. My two boys seem to be handling it OK, our oldest is 7 and told me "it's OK, mom, we can just go to the pound and get another one". Our youngest is 2 1/2 and is too young to grasp what has happened. My husband is also devestated, but seems a little more put together on the outside. He's been such a wonderful support, but I feel like I'm bringing him down with my crippling guilt and grief. Is another dog going to help us or hurt more? I can't seem to wrap my head around that idea either. I haven't been able to go more than an hour or so without crying. I couldn't sleep and I can't eat. Please, any advice or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. I would really like to know how I can get the last images of her life out of my head and replace them with more loving memories of how she was before that horrible accident. And, how to get the swelling on my eyes to go down....I look like I just lost a boxing match.