Hello, I lost my mother Nancy in February. She died after a 3 year battle with lung cancer. She also had a stroke a year into her cancer treatments which left her unsteady, unable to drive and with slurred speech. Although she went through Chemo, and two series of Radiation, in addition to 40 days in the hospital for the stroke, she never stopped smoking. This was very frusterating to all of her family, as we were spending most of our time caring for her and taking her to Doctor appointments. It felt as though she didn't care about us. She was also very difficult to deal with, not taking her meds at the right time, over medicating herself, not eating, not allowing for the care that she desperately needed in the home. At the same time we were also caring for my 95 year old Grandfather who was suffering from blindness and kidney failure. His long time companion (who we also cared for) died two weeks before my Mother. Grandpa was what people described as "a piece of work" and although he agreed to a daytime caregiver, he refused care at night. His daytime caregiver threatened to call adult protection services unless he agreed to get a in home monitoring system, and after three attemps he finally allowed the people to install it.- All of this to say (and there is much more) for the past three years, caring for these people was hell. It seems to have numbed me to my feelings of deep love and connection that I once had for them, and all I have now is a sense of relief, tinged with anger that they put me through so much with their stubborn selfish behavior. My friends think there is someting wrong with me that I have suffered so much loss in such a short period of time, and yet I do not grieve. Am I heading for a breakdown?
