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Ellyn

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Everything posted by Ellyn

  1. Hello All, Hospice is a wonderful thing. They allowed my mother dignity in death. She was at home in her own bed, as comfortable as she could be and surrounded by her family. Several of us were in the huge king size bed around her, including her puppies, and none of us ever thought about being anywhere else. Yes it was sad, but at the same time the most beautiful experience I have ever witnessed. I miss my mother and will forever. I went on with my life, you have to. But the grief was still there, even after 3 years. I recently cared for and had HOV for my mother-in-law, who just passed this last November, the day after Thanksgiving. It was after her death that all my postponed grief took hold. I recently attended the "Daughters without Mothers" here in Phoenix and it was the best thing I could have done for myself. The HOV councelor was great and very helpful, as were the other attendees. I want to suggest to anyone out there, to use HOV services in whatever form fits into your life, but use them. I have found help in other areas of this online forum too. It is nice to know you are not the only one out there who has these feelings of overwhelming sadness. I wish all the best to all who are going thru this process called grief and hope you find your way, smoothly. E
  2. I want to thank all of you that responded to my message. The funeral for the young man was this last Saturday morning. I gathered all my strength and attended the service. I was not sure if I would have the opportunity to approach or speak with his family, but I needed to attend. It turned out to be a very good experience, both for myself and his family. I met the father just before the service began and while embracing him I told him my story, he hugged me tighter and thanked me, after the service I found myself in this hugh crowd, the church had been full, but suddenly, as if it was really meant to be, his mother was there and at the moment not speaking to anyone else. I introduced myself and told her I had been with her son the night he died and had stayed there with him and that he had not been alone. Once she took in what I said, there seemed to be a different look in her still sad eyes and we hugged and cried together and she asked me to give her a call so we could talk some more. I will do this later this week and I hope to meet with her. The other good thing for me and attending the service was that they showed a slide show of this young mans life and that has given me some other mental pictures to view. I am trying to think that I was not in the wrong place at the wrong time that night, but in the right place at just the right moment. Thank you all again, it really helped me decide. E
  3. This last Sunday, just after midnight, my husband and I were coming home from work and were the only witnesses to a tragic fatal accident. One of the young men was ejected from the car. I covered him with a blanket, and stayed with him as his life slipped away. I want very much to speak with his family and let them know that their son was not alone when he died, but I don't want to intrude in their grief. I would hope that this might give them some comfort in this long agonizing grief process. I am having some trouble coping myself, this was very tramatic for me and I have a medical background. My nephew is the same age as the young man who died and I think I would like knowing that someone was there. Does anyone have any thoughts on this subject. Thank you for listening. E
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