shyman

Dear Nancy Very sorry for your loss I understand what you are going through I lost my Tanny only 2 months suddenly after massive heart attack aged 35 we had been together nearly 15yrs. We were a couple as soon as we met moved in together 3 months later I pretended to be getting $30 less pay than I was so I could buy engagement ring; we were married 8yrs later. IT is our anniversary on Sunday. Best of luck 1hour at a time if that is what it takes. Shyman Australia

Me and my beautiful wife Tanya were complete opposites in so many ways but we fitted each other like a glove. I am skinny she was a large lady, I am shy she was outgoing and bubbly, I am messy she was very clean and so on. I personaly have"nt noticed other couples yet as it has only just been two months since the Love of my life was taken from me at such an early age. I am still in shock and greith... shyman Australia

Thank-you all for your kind words, sorry its taken so long to reply but ive been real busy with arrangements & my computer had a virus. Kath I think you were right about finding this sight as my Tanny found it for me not long before she passed. I have been up & down like a yo-yo everyone says I am doing real well & being brave I dont know how I am doing it. I always feel sad as Tan & I have never spent any time apart its so lonely I really dont know what to do with myself, just taking one day at a time. My family have been wonderful i"m moving back with parents for a while as I just cant live at my old house anymore she is supposed to be there to.Should be starting work again soon maybe that will help keep my mind on other things. Counsellor has been helpfull telling me what i feel is normal (well normal sucks & I hate it, as you all will know) thats all for now thanks again for your support. Shyman Australia

This is shyman I am still trying to get over my brother Glenn"s death (as posted in behaviors section), then yesterday my beatiful Wife Tanya passed away suddenly of a massive heart attack at age 35. Today I had to start making funeral arrangements it was very hard to do but I got through it. My family have been so wonderfull I couldn"t have done it without them.Tanya was my first Girlfriend and the first and only girl I kissed, I will miss her dearly. I really dont know how to feel still to new and in shock, off to see a counsellor tomorrow hope it helps, I have been with Tan for 15yrs . Thats all I can put in at the moment other than its real quiet here we never had kids just dogs.Shyman Australia

This is shyman. Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement. My brothers name is Glenn, he was a gentle boy with blue eyes & blonde hair he also suffered with bad exzma. I have tried many different counselllors over years they havent done much good, all they seemed to say is (get over it, be a good boy & stand up to the bullies because boys will be boys). I know I have to seek professional help about my problems, Its just very hard for me to make the first step. I am a stubourn man who thinks I should be able to deal with things and fix them all up on my own, its slowly sinking in that this doesn"t work. Even my marrage is suffering because of my stubborness to accept help, how stupid am I ? Thanking you all again. Shyman....Australia

Hi this is shyman, thought I would take your advice BOO, & write my own story, so here goes. I do find it hard to talk about, as I explain later. It was a typical school day back in March 1978 me (5yrs old) and my brother (7yrs old) caught the school bus to our babysitters, before heading home (both my parents worked). The bus stopped at our stop. My brother got off in front of me. Somehow, after he stepped off the bus, he fell under it. Despite all of the yelling by kids on the bus and parents close by, the driver drove off, running him over. right in front of me. Our babysitter ended up at the tragic scene. My brother looked at me, like he knew what was coming, his look said to me, even at age 5, I knew what that look said - Pain and Terror. He was terrified and in too much pain. Ah, it still haunts me, that look. That look is something I have really struggled with. At times, its the first memory that pops into my head. When that happens, I find it hard to remember anything 'good' or 'nice' or 'happy'. The last time I saw My brother, they were shutting the doors of the ambulance. That night I stayed at the babysitters house, being only 5yrs old, I didn"t know what was going on. I was not allowed to attend his funeral and felt that I could never mention the way that I felt about him again without upsetting every one around me. So, I quickly learnt to bottle my feelings up. School was never much fun after that. The bullies had found my weakness, and gee, they did use it against me. Something else I still struggle with. Over the years it has definately gotten easier. Memories have become very precious. Most of the time I get on with life just fine. At other times I feel that I am 5 again. Its moments like these, although its been more than 31 years, time has taught me a valuable lesson - I know that everything will be alright. I will be ok. The sun will come up tomorrow and shine on me again. I can count on it. I hope the story of my brother, my loss, will be benaficial to some of you out there, as well as helping me get some things off my chest. Thank you for taking the time to read about my much LOVED brother shyman....Australia

This is my first time on this sight and I just want to say that being stuck for 8yrs is ok i have been stuck on & off for 31yrs I wish you all the best & really hope that you & your counsellor get on top of it. Please dont be put off by the fact that its been 31yrs for me.I witnessed my brother being run over by the school bus when i was 5yrs old, my brother was 7yrs old. I was not allowed to attend his funeral & was bullied about it for years afterwards. So please take care sorry for your loss, Shyman.