MaryBeth

Hello to everyone ! I thought I would touch base here and update you on my positive journey now in my grieving process of my mother. The Alzhimer assoc here was part of a health fair last weekend at a local nursing home. I attended as a volunteer at their table, my mind was off in many directions, observing the residents, thinking of mom,infact in her day, she would go to this home to visit ones who were there, I could see mom in many of them. Sunday I made a trip to a graduation party, and traveled a road, that mom and I would take, so many times together, the memories flowed, but I made it, and enjoyed my day.July I will be going to Chesapeake, Va. for 10 days to visit my son and his family, he made the Navy a career, has been in 22 yrs, and will be taking command of a mine sweeper ship, so I will be able to have time with him, just before this happens. The trip will be my first without mom, we flew many times to visit him over the years,infact mom and I shared the first time to fly together. I will miss her being with me but will be remembering all our good times together during these trips. I hope each one of you are finding your grief journey somewhat lighter as time goes by, it is an everyday process, some good, some bad. Take care, my friends. MaryBeth

Lori Yes, I know where Mark is.indeed a small town. What year was your grandma born in ? My mom was 1912. Her dad worked in the coal mines for awhile in Spring Valley. My mom would always talk of the Cherry Mine disaster in Spring Valley.I know Spring Valley well, would always take mom there for Memorial Day to decorate the graves, and visit some cousins still living there.Did you ever eat at the Red Door in Peru ? I think it is closed down now. I have alot of great memories there with my mom and daughter.

I feel like I have moved to a different level of this grieving process, one of some coming to terms with things, a more peaceful feeling. I do not feel like the person I was but in a transition mode of a new self.The board here has been more help then you will ever know, thank you all ! I also decided to start doing volunteer work here with the local alzheimer assoc, to give something back, in what I experienced. I remembered mom did volunteer work with the Red Cross & a local nursing home here, after my dad and her mother died. I could hear her telling me, pull yourself up by your boot straps and get going ! I also adopted a cat this last Fri from a local animal shelter and now I have a liitle companion here with me. He likes to get in my recliner in the living room, to keep an eye on my comings and goings, just like mom did, when she was in her recliner,24/7. I made it through, her birthday, easter. and mother's day, all firsts for me. Iam far from 100% yet, can still see a movie with someone passing away, and cry all over. I have also read some very good books on grieving that have helped.Thanks again to all of you, for your part in all this. Warm thoughts to all.

Lori What a small world, my mom was born in Spring Valley as was her mom. My Great Grandparents came over on the boat from Italy and settled there. I live in Peoria, Ill. My good friend has kids living in Lasalle, Peru, infact she is going to her Grand Daughter's high school graduation this coming Thurs night from LaSalle High School. My friend will be moving to Streator in the near future. My Great Grandpatents, and my mom's dad are buried at the Spring Valley Cemetry. Thanks for sharing ! MaryBeth

LoriW I extend my sympathy for your recent lose of your mom and what a wonderful tribute you gave to her. I live in central Illinois, was wondering where your parents lived here, you do not have to say, if you would rather not. My mom passed this year, Feb 22, I also will be going to the cemetry on Mother's Day. I was very happy that they got her name engraved on the headstone as I had aked for it to be done by then. Paul Mom's favorite movie was Gone With The Wind, flower favorite was Lilacs, and she loved ice cream. actually anything sugar, and never had a health issue regarding that, unlike her daughter ! As a side note, she did not like cats, and today Iam adopting one from a local shelter. My daughter is a cat lover and kept saying you need a little companion now mom to keep you company so I finally came around to the idea. I can just see mom looking down and seeing how this will work out, funny how we still worry about what mom would think ! MaryBeth

Paul I enjoyed your sharing memories of your mom. My mom was a Frank Sintra fan, her generation, and me, Elvis, she would always say, she had Frank and me Elvis, although I think I turned her into an Elvis fan, she would always let me know if a song of his was on the radio or what news she had heard about him. The day of the big bands was her time and she loved to dance in her young days. Hershey Kisses were her favorite candy, when she was more or less in her recliner 24/7 on the table beside her was kept a bowl full of them and her little hand held radio on a station that played the old time songs.One special time, mom, my daughter and I made a trip to Graceland, what a time we had ! Ah, to be able to reach back and relive those times. MaryBeth

MartyT Awesome ! That was what I thought reading the tribute to your Mom. I thank you for sharing such a all around view on your mom. I realize that others here may not be up to the task to enter into such a rememberance,I can appreciate that.I do not look at my mom through rose colored glasses, she was a very stubborn and opionated woman. We did not see eye to eye on many things, I was always standing up for what I thought was right, sometimes not to good results and she would know what buttons to push to get me started. The most important thing, even with all this, she was always there for me. The dementia that moved in on her was very hard, it made her mean and hateful it was only in the last 5 months of her life that the DR finally found a med to take the anger and hatefulness away. Iam so glad for those 5 months. I come to realize after her death that I could only remember all the good things she did for me, not against me, it was like when you give birth the pain you went through is soon forgotten the first time you hold your child, that in her death, my pain, my lose, my grieving,opened my eyes. Iam an only child, so here I sit, all alone,but I know she is watching over me, because she always was ! MaryBeth

Hello To All Of You ! I had mentioned a week ago about honoring our moms during this week, by sharing things about them, like a special childhood memory, their likes and dislikes, what made them who they were too us. I thought it may put a positive spin on our mental outlook for the approching day this Sunday. My mom passed 7 weeks short of her 94th birthday. She was born April 15, 1912, the actual day the Tiantic sunk, so you can imagine all she had seen and experienced in life, when the movie came out, she was still able to go out, so I took her to see the movie, it was to be, our last time for a movie outing, as she became, shortly after mostly home bound but she would talk of it often, so this is one of many, of a very special memory, of Mom. MaryBeth

That is what I became on Feb 22, 2006 when my mom passed away. I guess that sounds sort of silly when Iam 64 yrs but nevertheless that is how I feel. Iam an only child and had lived here with mom for the last 14 yrs. She was 93yrs, would have been 94 on April 15. I know Iam so lucky to have had her in my life for so long but it still a difficult life journey now without her. She was able to stay here in her home, passed away in her bed, I was there for her last breath as she finally completed her journey to the next life. I know she is finally whole again, free of pain, and can see again, one thing she had was macular degeneration, could not see at all, and dementia, which was quite and experience to see and be part of. The last year I had caregivers here as I could only do so much being I had both my hips replaced last year, 7 weeks apart, The last week, I had hospice. So here Iam, this is my first time to be alone in my life, after raising a family, and coming here with mom 14yrs ago after my divorce, I must say, it is going to be an ajustment, I always felt in control of my life but not on this issue, the crying will just come on me like waves pouring over me, I get thoughts like, well at my age, I won't have to wait long to be with mom, that sounds awful, but it's true at times. Family and friends can only help you so much now, you have to walk in my shoes to know the deepness of this pain, as all of you here do. I have been reading your posts for awhile now and decided it was time to join in. My thoughts are with you in the loss of your loved ones. Mary Beth