This past week marked the 3rd month since my mother passed away. I wish I could say I feel better but honestly I think I feel worse now than I did when I was going through all the prep and arrangements for her funeral. I wish more of those people who say they love and care about me would make time in their busy schedule to send me a love note. I feel so isolated and alone I can barely stand it. My work suffered so badly upon my return that I ended up resigning. Unfortunately resigning also meant that I had to move my family to a new home.
Mom and I were very close...we called each other a lot sometimes several times a day. She always came to visit during the summer and Christmas holidays. She loved visiting because I have her oldest and youngest grandchild. She was an amazing grandmother. She loved to cook when she came to visit and we'd always try new foods when she was here. We often stay up late and have 'girl time' watching old movies or just talking. She did the same with my daughter. We were going to come to here this year and the last time I talked to her we were planning what we should cook for dinner.
Right now I'm just going through the motions. I wish I could cry more but I just can't seem to let go and have a good cry. When I do try my husband asks me 'why are you crying?' I'm angry all the time because people don't seem to care about me. In my head I know that's not true but getting my heart to believe it is a different matter.
Thanks for listening.
Dionne
